Mike DeWolfe : The Daily Edition

Canada Post is Rotten

2011-06-29T07:02:00.000-07:00

After the lock-out and the back-to-work legislation passed, I expected that mail would resume yesterday. At 5PM a Canada Post employee, one who had the whiff of management to her, walked up my steps with two pieces of mail (one junk mail, one bank statement). She knocked on the door and handed me the mail with an apology, "I didn't know where your mailbox was." I replied, "It's that large white box at the bottom of the stairs where people put mailboxes." How can a grown-up human being in Canada not recognize a mailbox? As my daughter suggested, it's like a dairy owner not knowing what a cow looks like. However, it does speak to part of what's wrong with Canada Post. It's run by morons.
I have tried to send some of my crafts via Canada Post. It has been a dodgy prospect. One package could not be delivered because they couldn't find the address. When it came back, I was working by my front door with the door open. I saw the delivery truck pull up. I walked out to greet the postee. She had one of those "pick up at the post office" cards. I said that I was here and could accept the package-- the package that I had sent that they could not mail and had returned to me. That package was sitting in her truck while she was putting the card into the mailbox. She couldn't give me the package. I had to go down to the post office late the next day to pick it up.

What kind of a system works like this? One that breaks packages in lieu of delivering them? A system that will deliver mail blocks away from the intended address? It's a system that has always been broken, but the volume of mail has dropped so low that their accidental competence doesn't peek out from their high volume of mistakes.
Over 20 years ago, I worked for Canada Post. I was part of the Christmas rush and the press of labour who help from September to January. Casual employees don't get any union benefits but they do have to pay union dues-- we paid $60/month off of our first paycheque per month. If we worked one shift for four hours, we would gross $64 and have to hand back $60 of that to the union who actively tried to stop us from working at Canada Post. The Canada Post management were inept and more than once tried to call me for a shift so late in the month that would basically hand back the cheque to CUPW.
You know those creepy weirdos you distance yourself from in public? They work for the post office. Canada Post is rife is bizarre behavior and bad reasoning. There is workplace deceleration happening there. Casual staff buzzed around like frightened eager mice. New unionized staff also generate output. Lifers lope around the plant like understudies from Nosferatu. There is a practice of "sampling:" mail that has been sorted gets pulled and checked randomly for accuracy. One time while I was working, one of the lifers rummaged through a big cart of mail, looked at the address and put it back in. Another staffer came by and asked, "Are you sampling?" and the lifer replied, "Nah. Just looking at how messed up the mail is. See? How wrong is that?" He noted just how wrong that letter address was compared to the cart it was in, then smooshed it back into the cart.
They would not pay overtime unless desperate. Every shift, we needed to stop work 10 minutes before the end of the shift and queue up at the timeclock. A hundred staff would stand by the clock poised to clock out within a minute of the shift ending. If you clocked out a minute early, you'd be docked pay. They had no problem with 1000 people minutes per shift being wasted, but did have a problem with clipping off one minute yourself.
Packages. You should save yourself the trouble and smash whatever you mail with a hammer before you send it. The packages get shipped with all the care of a gorilla with a temper tantrum. They are moved around in these large cages and to fill the cages, packages will be squeezed in any which way to use all of the volume. One night we had a backlog of packages and the cages were stacked larger than the size of a house (literally-- at least 50ft. x 50 ft. x 20 ft.). I overheard the managers talking about this mass of stalled deliveries. They had no intention of putting on more staff from their casual pool to move those packages.
A few years after my purgatory at Canada Post, I was working for a small start-up downtown. The mail would show up randomly and then it stopped showing up at all. We asked why we were not getting mail. The building was 100 years old, but our company was new. Because our company was new, Canada Post was considering whether or not they would deliver mail to us. The reason: the steps from the street down a flight a stairs and to our office had not been accounted for because out office had not been continious occupied for 100 years, so they couldn't get the postee to walk that flight of stairs. I complained. I obviously complained loudly enough to get a Canada Post manager to pay us a visit. They took out a tape measure to feature out the 60 feet we were "adding" to their route. Then, they told us to consider ourselves lucky. If we complained again, they would stop delivering mail.
This strike and lock-out has shown that we don't really need Canada Post, especially in its current state. It's a lumbering bureaucracy that cannot be challenged. You are disallowed from asking for it to improve. In it's current state it's one step more necessary than telegrams. For Canada Post to persist it needs to transform. There needs to be quality in its processes and accountability. Right now, the only exhibit of quality is a squeeze on the staff to move out more mail-- who cares if it goes in the right direction or if it shows up in one piece. The management make whole careers atop a pile of bad decisions. If Canada Post doesn't know how to deal with the mail, they need to learn.

Canucks Riot: A pictorial journey

2011-06-17T17:24:00.001-07:00

Hey-- can't Tasmanian siblings have sex in peace?

My fly dance moves make up for my small mis-shaped penis!

Watch as the North American Dumb-Ass, clad in shorts considers attacking the man with the gun...

Face it: some people cannot handle a world with Peter Mansbridge

Tonight on CNN: dumb reporter get attacked by the Hulk.

OMG! My BF is swinging from a lamp post like a chimp!
That's why I totally love him!

How many dumb-asses does it take the get a fire going, anyways?

Come to Vancouver: Enjoy our downtown open-air BBQ

We'll hide behind this fence!

Question: How old are you, mentally?

Check it! I'm FOOURR!!

Dude! I totally got a picture of that thing I burned, yo!

I didn't have the heart to tell him that it didn't read "Hooligan"

Man-- this wait for the port-a-potty is taking FOREVER!

The irony: Christy Clark is going to need dumb people to get re-elected.
Unfortunately, they riot but they don't vote.

So Long and Thanks For All The Fish

2011-05-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

"... and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord"

According to Harold Camping, the End Times are nigh upon us (again-- he's been pitching The End since 1994 or earlier). The End begins on May 21st, 2011, this time around.

He is giving us advanced warning. On Judgment Day, May 21^st, 2011, there begins a 5-month period of horrible torment for all the inhabitants of the Earth. On May 21^st, God will raise up all the dead that have ever died from their graves. Earthquakes will ravage the whole world as the earth will no longer conceal its dead (Isaiah 26:21). Don't get your looting shoes out of the closet. May 21st is Zombie Day. The living holy people will still be around the endure the next five months. People who died as saved individuals will experience the resurrection of their bodies and immediately leave this world to forever be with the Lord. I've always thought that when you die you go to Heaven, but according to this, you are entombed for upwards of 2000 years until your physical remains are uplifted. Those who died unsaved will be raised up as well, but only to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of all the earth. Death will be everywhere. May I suggest buying those little booties that Sleep Country delivery guys wear? Starting tomorrow, the whole world will look like Delhi and it's going to stay that way. Worst of all: we get jipped out of a final Halloween. The End ends on October 21th, 2011.

But then, The End has been hanging out this it was written into the Bible:

1844 - William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller's theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha'is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night. So, according the Baha'i belief, we are post Rapture and living in the 1000 years of peace. Given how much human suffering is solely created by human behaviour, maybe the last 170 years is the best we can do. Perfection is a bland monotone-- the highs and lows make us appreciate the good things in life and an appreciative and thankful life feels satisfying.
1914, 1918, 1925, 1942 - Dates set for the end by the Jehovah's Witnesses. So, after 1942 why did the Jehovah Witnesses stay banded together? The End has come and heaven needs no churches. So, if you're a faithful JW, the last thing you'd do is show up and help build another Kingdom Hall.
1981 - Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981. Ronald Reagan's presidency definitely made the End believable. The chance he would fall asleep on The Button was about 40% per year.
1988 - Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant. He should have revised the book 1999.
1989 - Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years.
1992 - Korean group "Mission for the Coming Days" predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture. Ironically, that's when Starcraft was released, so in Korea they were totally correct.
1993 - Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. Multiple predictions. One prediction: America would elect their worst president ever.
1994 - Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 6, 1994.
2011 - Harold Camping's revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture.
2060 - Sir Isaac Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060. He used apples to invent gravity, so he much have this right ;)

If this is the end, you will not be able to spend your money in the next day or in the zombie littered five months to come. If you hold this to be true, feel free to dump your excess money in my Paypal account:

Harper Majority. NDP Opposition

2011-05-02T22:25:00.001-07:00

Congratulations to Stephen Harper and the Conservative win of 166 seats. Let me know when you're converting those seats into Borg alcoves.

Bin Laden Dies While Hiding Behind A Woman

2011-05-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

Here's a streaming feed from http://www.news.com.au/world/osama-bin-laden-dead-us-has-the-body/story-fn8ljm6z-1226048335673 :

Word is being floated that Bin Laden will be buried at sea: http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenote/2011/05/osama-bin-laden-body-headed-for-burial-at-sea-officials-say.html - I guess Al Qaeda followers are free to visit his grave.

2:31pm It's being reported a woman used by bin Laden as a human shield was also killed. One helicopter used in the raid reportedly had mechanical failure and was destroyed.

2:29pm Egyptian-born doctor and surgeon Ayman al-Zawahri is al-Qaeda's second-in-command expected to succeed Osama bin Laden, Reuters reports.

2:26pm There are reports a crowd of a thousand people have gathered at Ground Zero in New York.

2:25pm Reuters reports that a US official believes Osama bin Laden's adult son and two other adults were also killed during the raid on his compound.

2:24pm The New York Times has published a seven-page obituary for Bin Laden.

2:22pm NBC News cut away from potential presidential candidate Donald Trump’s The Celebrity Apprentice on the US East Coast to carry coverage of the announcement. The breaking news also slightly delayed Apprentice on the US West Coast.

2:19pm The US Government has issued a worldwide travel alert after Bin Laden's death.

2:18pm The American ABC reports the large crowd of people, about 200 and growing, outside the White House gates, waved flags, danced, and sang, "Na na na na - na na na na ...Hey hey goodbye" in reference to Osama bin Laden.

2:02pm US Navy Seals were involved in the mission that killed Osama bin Laden, a Senior Defence official has reportedly told CNN.

1:57pm The New York Times has revealed how the news of Bin Laden's death leaked out before President Obama's press conference.

Dan Pfeiffer, the White House communications director, wrote on Twitter: "POTUS (President of the United States) to address the nation tonight at 10:30 PM Eastern Time." This, and another terse email sent out to journalists, "Get to work", fuelled suspicions that Mr Obama would be announcing the death of Bin Laden.

1:55pm Quotables from President Obama's speech:

His death does not mark the end of our effort. There is no doubt that al-Qaeda will continue to pursue attacks against us.

1:52pm Former Guantanamo Bay detainee Mamdouh Habib says the death of Osama bin Laden will not end the war on terror and there is no evidence he masterminded the September 11 attacks.

America is the war on terror, George Bush is the war on Terror. What, you think with Osama bin Laden dying there won't be war any more? There is no evidence he was a terrorist.

1:51pm Contrary to earlier reports that suggested OBL was killed last week, the President says the attack was carried out by a small team of Americans on Sunday, May 1 (US time).

The president said last August he was briefed on a report about the location of bin Laden, hiding within a compound deep within Pakistan, and last week, he authorised the assault on the compound.

The death of bin Laden marks the most significant achievement to date in our nation's efforts to defeat al-Qaeda.

1:45pm The President finishes his speech by quoting from the US pledge of allegiance, saying America is “one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

1:44pm See how the world's media has reacted to the death of Osama Bin Laden.

1:42pm "Justice has been done," he says.

1:41pm "The US is not, and never will be, at war with Islam," the president says.

1:40pm The president confirms OBL was killed in a firefight. No Americans or civilians were hurt.

1:38pm President Obama says capturing or killing OBL was "top priority of our war against Al Qaeda".

1:37pm According to trendistics, a Twitter monitoring tool, "Osama" is included in one in five tweets globally at the moment.

1:35pm President Obama has begun his address confirming the US has conducted an operation that has killed Osama bin Laden.

1:33pm The Australian dollar has dropped US0.3c on reports of bin Laden’s death.

1:28pm The report of Bin Laden's death comes the week after UK's Daily Telegraph claimed to have been shown thousands of pages of sensitive documents relating to a decade of interviews in which extremists admit to plotting attacks.

1:23pm A CNN reporter says a Pakistani intelligence official says it is the result of highly sensitive intelligence operation that led to the death of OBL and Pakistani intelligence was involved in the operation.

1:21pm An American, who lives in Brisbane, has told news.com,au she was crying and shaking upon hearing the news of bin Laden’s death because it brought back memories.

As an American who lived an hour outside of New York City on 9/11, this is huge for me. I saw and smelled yellow/brown smoke in the sky for hours, spent six hours waiting in a hospital to donate blood to survivors who were never found, and sleep with the TV news on for weeks afterward (all regular programming was cancelled for at least a month).

1:19pm There's a huge roar as a massive crowd chants the US national anthem The Star Spangled Banner outside the White House.

1:09pm Al Jazeera reports the terror leader was apparently killed in a mansion outside Islamabad.

Correspondents also warn of a possible backlash in Pakistan and Middle Eastern supporters over his death.

12:45pm Rumours of Osama's death were reported on Twitter before the official statement.

Top Ten Threats Uttered By the Green Party

2011-04-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

There was a claim from a would-be contender in the Saanich-Gulf Islands riding race, that the Green party was threatening this contender in an effort to dissuade her from continuing. Yep: the threatening Green Party. Isn't that an oxymoron? Here are the top ten things I would imagine to sour their opponent's chances:

They blamed the 1970s on the Liberal party of Canada.

All of the Green Party supporters crowded into Beacon Ave and Pat Bay Highway intersection and blocked part of one of the bike lanes.

They claimed that if you don't vote Green, Elizabeth May will come to your house and whine about the televised debates. If she doesn't win, she'll have LOTS of free time.

They've been handing out Michael Ignatieff's pamphlets to scare voters away from voting Liberal.

The Green Party egged the doors of all 60 Liberal voters in Sidney.

Affixing Liberal bumper stickers to pickups so that jerk-wad driving is associated with jerk-wad politicians.

Their statements and veiled threats:

"You better stop campaigning or we'll have to take 9% of the vote from you."

"We bought full-color signs to prove how serious we are."

"We're going to send you bad vibes. Are you ready for that?"

"I once killed a man with my sandal."

Maybe the Greens will hire Deano and his brother:

Toss Almost Half of the Bums Out

2011-04-16T07:33:00.001-07:00

With the Federal election looming, I count myself amongst the ranks of the undecided. I don't like the Conservatives but I hate Ignatieff. I like Layton, but the NDP will never form the government, especially after Ontario and BC voters remember the disaster of provincial NDP governments. The Greens could make in-roads, but Elizabeth May is dedicated to whining and not winning. I have promised to vote for the biggest whack-job to encourage him/her. Unfortunately, our riding has only four candidates-- no independent voices, no lone gunman disarmed by the Long Gun Registry forced to participate. I have to not vote, spoil my ballot or vote for one of four people who I don't want to vote for.
A lot of people feel the same way. We're tired of the bickering. We're tired of the opportunists in Ottawa who are spending our money. We're tired of them taking credit for our hard work. Elections are not a meritocracy-- they're popularity contests. The most worthy people are unlikely to get vetted by political parties. People not put forward by political parties are unlikely to get elected. We have an orderly process for electing Members of Parliament. We don't have a fair process.
There are about 450,000 Federal government employees. These people are beyond the reach of the law. They are unelected and there is no way to to make them answer for what they do to the citizens of the country. There are 308 Members of Parliament. When you say you want an elected government that will answer your needs, keep in mind that only 0.07% of the government answers to you by going to the polls.
So almost all of the government is unassailable. Taxes take half our income. The candidates pandering to get our vote are not going to benefit us. We can't remove the democratic process just because unworthy people step up to spend our money. What we can do is de-fang them.
The number of MPs has steadily climbed since confederation. The numbers are arbitrary and meant to represent populations and regions. Nunavut is over represented. Toronto is under-represented. Sheer population numbers make Ontario look over-represented when the opposite is true. But if you halved the level of representation-- brought it from 308 to 150 or 160 MPs-- the numbers could still work.
What would I do with the other spots in the House of Commons? I would give them to you. Take almost half of the seats and fill them will members of the public. Use the jury rolls to find members of the public who are of voting age and select them at random to serve as MPs for their segment of the population. If they are willing to sit in Ottawa for a two year term, off they go. Some will be poor. Some will be rich. Some will have a passion for good government. Some may just warm a seat. Basically, all of the qualities we see if our current crop of MPs would come in at random from these conscripted members of parliament.
If there is an election, their term is interrupted and the balance resumes after we get bamboozled by 160 candidates. People tapped to serve would have the option to decline the offer instead of derail their lives. Their jobs would sit in wait for their return. During their time in office, they would have all of the rights and responsibilities of an MP: they would earn $147,000/yr. (a nice bump above the $65,000/yr. Canadian median); they would be there to represent their region; they could jet back and forth to their riding. The rules of parliamentary conduct would be in play. If the elected MPs wanted them onside, they'd have to work for the support of the conscripted members. One conscripted member may be an ardent Conservative and the next one may be a Green or a Marxist. Random chance would keep the political leanings of the conscripted members balanced.
I recognize that politicians know how to work the meat grinder that is the political process. But I also recognize that they've been doing a lousy job. Government is bloated. It fails us on a daily basis. If we tossed out half of the politicians and replaced them with citizens maybe we could take back our government.

A Visit To Victoria aka How City Hall is Ruining Its City

2011-03-23T13:39:00.001-07:00

I pop into town to buy some soup for the wife who is home sick. At 12:23PM, I bought a ticket so that I could park for 18 minutes
At 12:25PM, one of the parking Nazis gives me a ticket for $40! For what? For parking too long. C148, don't go sobbing that I mock the quality of your work. You are bad at your job. Your incompetence is making downtown Victoria a place to avoid.
I could not find what I was looking for, so I went to Cook St. Village in search of soup. I parked in a 1 hr. parking spot. One of Dean Fortin's lackies, a City of Victoria worker, parks behind me, on a yellow line partially obscuring a crosswalk with one wheel on the pavement. (1, 2, 3)

Feel free to use this complaint as a boilerplate when the parking Nazis hit your car too:


From: me
Email : my email
Reference : http://www.victoria.ca/cityhall/departments_engprk.shtml
Daytime Phone : Not provided
I was issued a ticket today, (ticket# PA417039)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dewolfe001/5554026490/in/photostream/

When two minutes prior I had paid for 18 minutes of parking, (receipt# 00252296)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dewolfe001/5554024510/in/photostream/

Please cancel the violation ticket as I validly parked. If this ticket is not 
 canceled and confirmation of same action is not sent to me via email, I will provide
 the violation ticket and my receipt for parking in said spot to support
 my position in any upcoming litigation.

I have to take this opportunity to remind your offices that the practice of its
 parking attendants/staff to ticket so aggressively makes downtown Victoria an
 undesirable destination.

Thank you,

Harper Government

2011-03-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

I don't know why people are protesting the "Harper Government" phrasing in press releases.
I take the opposite tack: I am Stephen Harper's problem if this is how he wants to play. I want lots of Harper Government money; I want lots of elective surgery; I want safe streets; I want all my friends to get this too.
I used to expect that Canadians were responsible for providing this for themselves. Instead, it's the Harper Government. We don't have to provide anything. We don't have to answer for anything. Harper does. If my needs and wants spiral out of control, that's not my problem. Now it's the Harper Government problem.
Stephen Harper, as the embodiment of the Harper Government: you owe me. When you are voted out of office, I hope that the Government formerly known as the Government of Canada goes with you. Governments are full people who want more money than welfare would provide and have the free time to clock in and collect that excess. Governments make waste and do little else.

The Bygone Days of By-Law Enforcement Are Back

2011-02-25T13:24:00.000-08:00

Victoria and the CRD is heavily legislated. You would think you were living in a totalitarian regime given the number of laws on the books. You can't use a tanning bed if you can't vote. You can't idle your car. You have to shovel your sidewalk. You can't smoke in a doorway (though you can shoot up in a doorway-- the lesson there: shoot up crack, don't smoke it.). We don't feel the boot of The Man, because they bylaws are complaint driven. If you don't name who you are and drive the complaint nothing happens. This explains why the lunch time drive-thru at Wendy's is a hazy mass of motorists who don't get cited for the Clean Air by-law.

This from the City of Victoria:
Complaints can go to their email address: bylawenforecement@victoria.ca

To avoid delays in processing your complaint, and to ensure a Bylaw Officer can contact you, please ensure that you have provided your name, address, and phone number. Please note that the City of Victoria does not accept anonymous complaints.

The Bylaw & Licensing Services Division is responsible for the enforcement and administration of municipal bylaws. The Division consists of eight staff: six officers who address most bylaws except parking/animal control, and two Bylaw Clerks who provide administrative support. Our mandate is to achieve compliance with municipal bylaws; through education, mediation and as necessary through enforcement and prosecution.

When a written complaint is received, it is investigated and appropriate action is taken. Bylaw Officers are generally able to achieve compliance without enforcement, however not everyone complies voluntarily. When this happens, there are formal legal requirements that must be followed and, unfortunately, they can take time. You are welcome to contact the Bylaw & Licensing Services Division to request an update, however privacy is a priority, and disclosure may be regulated.

ICBC - They aren't insuring my part of BC

2011-02-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

Victoria BC reacts very poorly in the face of a little snow. People from the mayor on down neglects to shovel their sidewalk. The municipalities clear the roads late, do it only once or not at all-- with over a dozen fiefdoms, it's a sampler plate of incompetence. The snow removal efforts are underfunded and somnambulistic. When people pay a steep premium to live in this pretty little town, they love the infrequency of snow. They forget that when it hits, we fall apart. A tiny amount of snow becomes a crisis. Levels of public service come across as confused and ill-prepared. Yesterday, the police told people to stay off of the roads, but large employers like UVic and the Provincial government kept it business as usual. BC Transit said the buses were running (with the exception of many routes). Schools stayed open and I think that's largely because of the school's unofficial primary role: state run day care. We have kids trudging to school on icy sidewalks-- dodging meatheads who think they can drive their SUVs. Cars littered the roads around the region. Some abandoned. Some disabled.
The snow that hit Vancouver Island this February will probably deliver over a million dollars in ICBC claims. That amount will be dwarfed by the administrative bloat inside of ICBC; and the loss of work and loss of use generated when a car goes off the road. This is the same ICBC that pressed that some of us put away our cellphones (eg. we can't use our phones or car stereos; but police can still order pizzas while the sirens are flashing and they're ducking cars at high speed). ICBC litters our side streets with "SLOW DOWN" posters to the cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. On weekends, police officers log overtime on the ICBC dime peeking into cars looking for drunk drivers. ICBC funds lots of things beyond car repairs after we get a ding or a dent. They cite it as prevention.
Why isn't ICBC stepping up to clear the roads? They could have crews at the ready to move into communities as snow hits. Clear roads would knock down the accident rates and transportation delays. Less accidents = less claims, less injuries and less loss of life. ICBC has the money-- they take it from us and keep a large war chest. Their co-opting of our police forces to prevent drunk driving shows that they do practice prevention. Can't they limit the likelihood of accidents when it snows by paying to keep the roads that our insured vehicles drive down? While this does nothing to keep the clerical staff in ICBC occupied, wouldn't fewer accidents save ICBC some money?

Bill C-32 plea from Access Copyright

2011-02-15T07:08:00.000-08:00

The Writers' Union of Canada, under the leadership of its Chair Alan Cumyn, has put together a video (link not provided) featuring five writers about the perils of Bill C-32, Canada's controversial new copyright bill. Access Copyright encourages all of our creators, publishers and member organizations to spread the word about this video.I figure that Access Copyright gets most of the issues surrounding intellectual property wrong, so there's no need to spread their pap.

The video features two-time Governor General's Award winner Nino Ricci, and builds awareness on how Bill C-32 and the education exceptions will hurt Canadian writers' ability to make a living.

"Without strong copyright protections, professional writing in this country will be irreparably harmed," says novelist Alan Cumyn and author of the video. "Thousands of authors and artists across the country have been writing their MPs, protesting parts of this bill. This video puts faces and voices to our concerns."

Legislative Committee Members

· Gordon Brown, Chair, brown.g@parl.gc.ca

· Charlie Angus angus.c@parl.gc.ca

· Pablo Rodriguez rodrigues.p@parl.gc.ca

· Mike Lake lake.m@parl.gc.ca

· Dan McTeague mcteague.d@parl.gc.ca

· Serge Cardin, cardin.s@parl.gc.ca

· Ed Faste, faste@parl.gc.ca

· Sylvie Boucher, boucher.s@parl.gc.ca

· Dean Del Mastro delmastro.d@parl.gc.ca

· Peter Braid, braid.p@parl.gc.ca

· Carole Lavallée lavallee.c@parl.gc.ca

· Marc Garneau garneau.m@parl.gc.ca

Exit Through the Gift Shop

2011-02-11T11:26:00.000-08:00

I've just finished watching, Exit Through the Gift Shop
I will have to write more on it, after I have a chance to digest this documentary.

Do Victorians Live In a Pressure Cooker?

2011-02-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

Do we live in a pressure cooker? As we look at houses for sale, we see the squished little properties where every last square foot has been built out-- where they build toilets into coat closets and calling it a bathroom. We're literally getting squeezed. Victoria's population of 78,000+ is small by comparison to a lot of places. But look at it from a viewpoint of population density and check out where Victoria ranks among BC cities. This explains why such a "tiny" place can have such road congestion and cramped housing.


.	City	Population	Area (sq. km)	Cooker Factor (population / area)
.	Vancouver	578,041	114.71	5,039.15
.	Victoria (City not region)	78,057	19.68	3,966.31
.	North Vancouver	45,165	11.85	3,811.39
.	New Westminster	58,549	15.41	3,799.42
.	White Rock	18,755	5.16	3,634.69
.	Duncan	4,986	2.05	2,432.20
.	Langley	23,606	10.22	2,309.78
.	Burnaby	202,799	89.12	2,275.57
.	Port Coquitlam	52,687	28.85	1,826.24
.	Richmond	174,461	128.76	1,354.93
.	Surrey	394,976	317.19	1,245.23
.	Port Moody	27,512	25.62	1,073.85
.	Coquitlam	114,565	121.69	941.45
.	Nanaimo	78,692	89.3	881.21
.	Port Alberni	17,548	19.92	880.92
.	Colwood	14,687	17.76	826.97
.	Courtenay	21,940	26.68	822.34
.	Armstrong	4,241	5.24	809.35
.	Nelson	9,258	11.72	789.93


.	Fort St. John	17,402	22.74	765.26
.	Penticton	31,909	42.02	759.38
.	Parksville	10,993	14.6	752.95
.	Cranbrook	18,267	25.14	726.61
.	Enderby	2,828	4.23	668.56
.	Langford	22,459	39.55	567.86
.	Kelowna	106,707	211.69	504.07
.	Dawson Creek	10,994	22.32	492.56
.	Powell River	12,957	29.77	435.24
.	Grand Forks	4,036	10.44	386.59
.	Vernon	35,944	94.2	381.57
.	Castlegar	7,259	19.8	366.62
.	Abbotsford	123,864	359.36	344.68
.	Williams Lake	10,744	33.11	324.49
.	Merritt	6,998	24.94	280.59
.	Terrace	11,320	41.52	272.64
.	Kamloops	80,376	297.3	270.35
.	Chilliwack	69,217	260.19	266.02
.	Quesnel	9,326	35.34	263.89
.	Fernie	4,217	16.05	262.74


.	Greenwood	625	2.52	248.02
.	Prince Rupert	12,815	54.9	233.42
.	Revelstoke	7,230	31.9	226.65
.	Prince George	70,981	316	224.62
.	Trail	7,237	34.78	208.08
.	Campbell River	29,572	143.48	206.11
.	Pitt Meadows	15,623	85.38	182.98
.	Kimberley	6,139	58.31	105.28
.	Salmon Arm	16,012	155.36	103.06
.	Rossland	3,278	57.97	56.55
.	Kitimat	8,987	242.63	37.04

It's Time To Put Your Money Where Your Meter Is

2011-02-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

Victoria is in the throes of pretending to attempt to include rail to the Johnson St. Bridge replacement. They let the bridge fall into disrepair. They pushed through a referendum that excluded the rail and deployed a lot of dubious tricks to get the votes they needed.
When local provincial representatives were urged to come out in support of rail, they failed. Maurine Karagianis, the NDP MLA for Esquimalt-Royal Roads said:

"We know that a rail crossing on the Johnson Street Bridge is important... I believe that government needs to be seen as not only understanding our growing transportation challenges, but ensuring funding is in place to satisfy our current and future transportation needs. The corridor is deteriorating; the time is at hand to make a commitment to this region and without senior levels of government at the table, the opportunity may be lost... I encourage you to continue lobbying the Minister of Transportation (Minister.Transportation@gov.bc.ca) on this important matter."

Translation: blame the Liberals. I agree that the Liberals have not done their part to make this bridge viable and it likely is payback to a region that elects NDP representatives. But more importantly: the NDP aren't going to break ranks their municipal counterpart, Dean Fortin.
When Dean Fortin urged the public to decide on which design would be used for the bridge replacement, he then went on to select the second most popular design, resting on the idea that it was in the council's purview. When he kyboshes the rail across the bridge, he will likely slink back to the referendum question and remind the public that the design they supported didn't include a rail line. I'll credit him with knowing what's legal. I wish he could appreciate what's right. When that happens, we need to look on this left-leaning environmentally sensitive City Council and see them for what they are: hypocrites. They are against getting people out of their cars and into light rail. They are against preservation and heritage. They are against generating foot traffic in a vibrant and enjoyable downtown.
The problem with this bridge is that it's used by people throughout the region, but I'm going to be stuck paying the bill. This should be a provincial project as their jurisdiction is an umbrella over the the Capital Region's bickering Balkans.
If the other municipalities are not going to pay and the City of Victoria is stuck footing the bill, it's time they took off the gloves.
The City needs to look at the services it offers the public. They need to jack up the prices substantially and offer a deep discount to City of Victoria residents.

Parking meters should all be replaced with the kiosk and numbering system. Then, they should triple the parking rates. Yes: triple. Then offer pre-paid cards (they already do). People who produce drivers licenses that show they live inside of the city boundaries will get the cards for a deep discount. If you're a tourist, you can pay $10/hour to park. If you're from Oak Bay or Colwood: $10/hour-- sorry, you're still a tourist. Sure Colwood people can put their friends up to buy them discounted cards at risk of fraud charges. This would fill the city coffers with much needed revenue.
Make Crystal Pool and other public services behave in a similar way: if you're from the City of Victoria swimming is $3 but $10 if you've dropped in from Esquimalt.

If the other municipalities aren't going to contribute and work together, it's time they had their noses rubbed in it. This smattering of little jurisdictions need to be amalgamated and put their petty differences aside. If they don't they should be prepared to pay the privilege of living in their little tweed castles and using the amenities of the City of Victoria.

Outdoor Adventures: Killing Off Healthy Dogs

2011-01-31T09:26:00.000-08:00

Following the BC 2010 Winter Olympics, management at Outdoor Adventures: Whistler ordered an employee to kill 100 healthy sled dogs and throw them into a pit, some still alive. Seventy of the dogs were shot and the remainder were stabbed. The employee has won a WorkSafe BC case for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The worker described a horrible scene "heads blown off", "half crawling" and "They most certainly did not die instantly, at least some of them."

The SPCA says this is horrifying, calling the incident "a massacre."

The dogs were apparently put down last April because Outdoor Adventures Whistler didn't get the boost in business expected after the 2010 Olympics.

Marcie Moriarty with the SPCA told News1130 that an investigation is being launched.

More information on Outdoor Adventures Whistler:

Outdoor Adventures Whistler
Unit No. 218 - 4293 Mountain Square
Whistler, BC
V0N-1B4

T: 604-905-8108/ 604-849-0076
Leeanne Fitzpatrick: leeanne@adventureswhislter.com
Dave Hord: dave@adventureswhistler.com
W: www.adventureswhistler.com

Mike DeWolfe: Obituary

2011-01-29T16:49:00.001-08:00

A good friend suggested that we write our own obituary. We laughed, but it's a good exercise. You know eventually your time will end, so how will your obituary look if you totally get your way. Not the most likely outcome for your life, but the best possible outcome for your life and where you want to end up.

I'm a jack-ass. So here's are two versions of my obituary. A "funny" one and a "serious" one:

The jack-ass one:
Mike DeWolfe was one of the victims of President Palin's Tea Party Aboard "Brains Matter" program wherein they euthanized any foreigner with an IQ of 105+. Memorial services will be held at the Monsanto Monster Truck Expo and Gun Show.

The serious one:
Mike DeWolfe dabbled in many things: sculpture, new media, writing, entrepreneurship, socio-cultural reform; and was a sometimes gadfly. After finding success with his website, _________.com, he left web development and moved into a mix of humor, art and business ventures. He summed up his philosophy on life and how to achieve success and peace in his 2017 book, ___________. He helped to popularize post-nationalism and did his part to dismantle the brutal mob rule ideologies on the 19th and 20th centuries. He was annoyed by a number of chronic health issues, but found a way to manage those by mid-life, thereafter finding time to travel with his family: going on an extended worldwide tour with his wife and teenage daughter. Mike was able to retire early and devote his time to helping his friends, family and those in the community.

The Post 1/8 World Will Be Whole New Version of Crazy

2011-01-12T07:55:00.000-08:00

Questions are coming up about the last couple years for Jared Loughner. His fellow students sat near exits "just in case he brought a sub-machine gun." The college dismissed him and informed his parents that he could only return after a psychological assessment. Police knew about him. The warning signs were plain as day. Still: he could buy a gun and ammo. He was completely unwatched until it was too late.
Police are now serving as frontline social workers and de facto psychologists. And, why not? Psychology is as much about social mores as it is about mental health. And crimes are relative the society they apply to. Crime, social norms and behavior are all relative. When you take things to their cold abstractions, many psychological disorders get applauded when the time is right:

When someone is praying and demonstrating their faith, are they asking for wish fulfillment from an imaginary super being?
When Loughner leapt out, mowed down a politician, a little girl, a judge and many others, we was seen as the pinnacle of crazy. If he had jumped into a throng of Taliban leaders and villagers and mowed them down, it would be just another day.
Going to work so that people that give you slips of green paper that you can give to others who also think the paper is special (aka cash)-- does that seem sane? Would you work for paperbacks or issues of magazines? No: working to get a stack of Elle back issues would be crazy.

When someone commits a crime, they are largely committing a social transgression. When they do that, it's either because they are detached from the social norms and don't appreciate the impact of their act. In some cases, they are gaming the system: they don't appreciate why a stereo in a car is necessarily someone else's. If they were in-line with the general societal norms, they wouldn't steal, do drugs or harm others. Their sense of decency would kick in and they would not commit crimes.
If crime has mental illness at its core and police are out there to fight crime, police are countering the manifestations of mental illness.
It has become much less abstract though: the image of the mentally ill person has shifted. Two generations ago, they were institutionalized in deplorable conditions, drugged and given shock treatment-- generally boxed up. Political correctness made us see that the mentally ill are people too. Counter-culture movements made us accept people outside of the straight-and-narrow. Showing up at the office in blue jeans went from pariah to tolerance to applause as hipster culture and nerd chic cemented in our mindset. Big Pharma saw they could cash in by medicating the mentally ill. Mental illness is such a big business that there are more people on anti-depressants in America than there are people living in the whole of Canada: talk about a Prozac nation. If the world around you sucks, you don't need to acknowledge that: just take some drugs and get back to work.
Housing the mentally ill is expensive, resource intensive and now politically incorrect. Nursing schools only turn out so many graduates. As our population ages, there are more beds for aging Boomers than there are the mentally ill. A mentally ill person who may rarely demonstrate dangerous behaviour still needs 24x7 care in an institution. On the street, you can play Russian Roulette: an occasion of danger may rarely sync up with an opportunity for massive harm.
With all of these advents and the Reaganomics of the early 1980s, the mentally ill left the institutions and entered our society. Children with developmental issues and/or mental issues mainstreamed into our schools. Schizophrenics were drugged into a stupor and put into our workplaces. Just try to get a random handful of people into a room wherein no one is on anti-depressants. Mental illness is common.
The problem is that this doesn't entirely work. The drugs may not work well for some people. Maybe they hate the side effects. Maybe the side effects convince them that they don't need the drugs. After 30 years of career musical chairs, people either don't have health insurance in the US; or, they are working somewhere new-- somewhere where they arrived with a pre-existing psychological condition that may not be covered by their health care. Without drugs, some people go off the rails really quickly. When they skid off the rails, they land on the street.
Life on the streets combined with our overly legislated society means that the honestly mentally ill very quickly butte up against law enforcement. Police are put into the role of social worker. Police are not often hired for their IQ but for their neck size. They are not well equipped for that role of street psychologist. In sleepy Victoria, this has resulted in a number of deaths of mentally ill people at the hands of police. Last week, a brain damaged driver was kicked in face by the RCMP because he was slow to comply with their demands. Put into this position, the police are killing off the handicapped and mentally ill people they encounter.
If we normalize their role and turn police back from health care workers and back into law enforcement, the next line of defense for the Jared Loughners of the world will be psychologists and social workers. Unlike police, psychologists have a code of conduct and they need to adhere to confidentiality. If someone says to their psychologist that they want to kill people, they are obliged to act. But if the warning signs are vague, the reaction is also vague. All the way along, psychologists are hard pressed to not violate doctor-patient confidentiality. What's a mental health care worker to do? They can learn from other industries.
When you are turned down for a bank loan, you are just told that the credit report came back bad: the loan officer is not supposed to show you the itemized details of your financial wake. I usually cajole my loan officer into a peek. It is my information and it shapes my fate, so I feel entitled to see it.
Lots of people cannot fly because their name appears on a secretly derived list. When children were ending up on No-Fly lists at airports, people started asking "How did they end up on this list?" The answer is that the qualification for getting on the list is masked. You cannot get to the chain of information that leads to the No-Fly list. You are simply on the list or not. The layers of confidentiality are retained.
Psychologists can take the same approach and they will want to do it. Hiding behind their code of conduct and confidentiality is cold comfort to the victims of their patients. The demarcation line between psychologist and astrologer would start to evaporate if psychologists had to guess about people's inner thoughts in lieu of candor. Yet they cannot survive as an industry if they keep getting advance word of murderous rampages without so much as saying, "Duck!" A professionally issued but unspecified warning is the compromise that keeps their industry alive and well. Using their bona fides as health care professionals, they could declare people as being a risk to others, do so without justification, and quietly filed away where the information can be found-- like an appendix to a criminal record check. If they start to justify their claims, a psychologist will violate doctor-patient confidentiality. If there is nothing wrong with you but you get branded as dangerous, listing no problems is the same as not sharing any problems. The psychologist or social worker who declares you as such can't say a peep about their decision. Psychologists can hide behind the rule of confidentiality and take the medical equivalent of the Fifth. In the case of Jared Lee Loughner, they could fill out a form, stamp it and suddenly put the likes of Loughner under a spotlight prohibited from buying guns and ammo; or being put into a position where they could endanger others. The downside: this abbreviated process could hit anyone who was considered worthy of such a ban. Have the same name as someone labeled crazy: you get labeled crazy-- sort of the equivalent of one of those toddlers who ended up on a terrorist watch list. If you got such a mark on your record, you would have to run afoul of the list and its impact before you'd know you were tangled up in the system. That would be crazy.

Hideous Vs. Horrible

2010-12-30T10:33:00.000-08:00

Just before Christmas, I was contacted by someone to send them a zombie gnome. I zombie up gnomes and garden rabbits to turn the cloying and trite into the hideous. As it turned out, I had three gnomes left: one very shattered, one cracked and one damaged. I explained this problem, then I tried to scare up a gnome. Much to my own surprise, I found one, zombied it up and shipped it off. The money dropped into my vacant PayPal account-- an account that sees too little activity. The buyer even paid me extra, so thrilled with the work.
I am handed a lot of things to fix that I would rather not touch. Conversely, there are a lot of things I want fixed that I can't fix. I find that when I can't fix something I try to compensate. I can't stop the cancer, but how about I drive you to ferry? You're relationship is ruined: would you like beer? I like to be able to mend stuff. But all things are impermanent: anything you fix will be wrecked again eventually.
This Christmas has felt like I was in a foxhole. My immediate family was okay, but all around us: cancer, marriages breaking-up and general unhappiness. So many unmendable situations around me.
Last night, I read this story about a Victoria family: four children with a one-month old, Molly Campbell, who has an aggressive form of leukemia. Friends of the family have put together the website to describe the family's plight. They have a page for donations and a Paypal link:

This money isn't needed to pay for Molly's health care: it's there to cushion the family in coming months as they commute to Vancouver for treatments, lose work and do all of the other things that come with trying to care for a sick baby and hold the rest of your life together. It's a horrible situation for this family to be in. I can't cure their daughter's cancer or make them unafraid, but I can offer the equivalent of a pint of beer or a drive to the ferry. I can't fix a lot of stuff, but I can still do something.
I can parlay money from my hideous zombie gnome to make the sting of 2011 less horrible for the Campbells.

Bell Has 1.3 Miillion Reasons To Stop Annoying You

2010-12-20T15:24:00.000-08:00

I quit Bell Mobility a few years ago. Their service was lousy. Their customer service moreso. Several months ago, I started getting calls from Bell asking me to come back in some nearly indecipherable gibberish shipped via cheap VOIP from somewhere where the labour is even more cheap. This last week Solo started too. As it's also a Bell outfit, it's no surprise. I am close to ditching Virgin solely because of their close ties with Bell. Today, it was announced that Bell Mobility got slapped with a $1.3 million fine for their spamming practices. That doesn't mean they will stop, it just means they will try a newer and more slimy approach to get you to pay them money-- note "pay them money" not "use their services." You'll definitely pay, but you may get one successful call through their wireless tin-can network.
With the endless spam calls, I tried various strategies. The Do-Not-Call list does nothing. These calls are coming from an area that is outside of the Canadian jurisdiction.
I did the hang-ups. No dice.
I told them to send me the deal in writing. They can't give it to me in writing, they can only give it to me through their monthly billing.
I said that I had a lot of problems with Bell in the past and asked if they fixed the list of problems. They said they did. I asked when. They said, "oh last week, sir." I asked why they left things busted for so long. They didn't have a response for that.
More recently, I tried gibberish-- a total mish-mash of words. That got them to hang up, but they kept calling. Likely they enjoyed the symmetry of their gibberish being greeted with my gibberish.
Last time, I tried to convince them to change over. I said, "you should give up and switch to Rogers. What can I do to get you to swap over today?"
When DirectBuy spammed me with call after call, I tried telling them that Mike DeWolfe was dead. That didn't stop them-- likely it emboldened them to get the Widow DeWolfe to buy their crappy fridges.
What I did with DirectBuy: I wormed the full name out of one of the spammers. After the call, I found their home number in the phone book. I called them and made a sales pitch. Ask them to call back soon and I will be talking with them quite a lot (implied creepiness). After that, I was off the Direct Buy phone list. Ta da!
When Bell calls next, I'll likely do the "what are you wearing?" approach to see if they stop calling. I won't make it sexual or perverse-- just an intense attempt to inventory everything they have on their person. If they don't want to disclose that, I'll help them out and list everything I'm wearing in careful and long detail.

We're going to polls on April 12th, 2011

2010-12-19T09:02:00.000-08:00

In the US, presidential candidates are selected late in the race. Considering the importance of the post, people get a small window of about three months to know who they're voting for. In Canada, with the parliamentary system, party leaders get to audition and snipe daily before they get their chance to run for the big chair.
In BC, we're in a different situation from the Canadian standard: the governing BC Liberals are going to anoint a new leader in February. The state of Liberal flux was going to hand the NDP the government on the next go round. But Carole "Anti-Gordon Campbell" James got into a quandary: who is she if her defining characteristic disappears. Sensing an opportunity to ouster Carole James, her caucus closed in for the kill. Carole James, as NDP leader, has not brought her party to power two times. In good conscience, she needed to step down after the 2009 defeat to pave the way for a leader who could give the NDP a victory. She clung to power until her caucus forced her to step down.
Who will take over from James is a good question. No one has stepped up to claim the spot. Maybe Jenny Kwan, who nipped at James' heels, hopes to cash in on her hard work. If this had happened next year, a year out from the planned BC elections, then yellow scarfed mayor Dean Fortin could get closer to the end of his term and before his mismanagement of his civic politics came home to roost. But April would be too soon for Fortin. That said, you can probably look to the yellow scarf crowd for a candidate who will get James' blessing and be enough of a difference to satisfy the Kwan crowd.
In the Liberal race, they need a fresh face (sorry, Kevin Falcon-- you've lost The One Ring). They need someone who has charisma (sorry, Mike de Jong-- your fists can do the talking but they can't campaign). They need a known face (sorry, Moira something-or-other). That leaves George Abbott vs. Christy Clark. By most accounts, George Abbott is fair fighter and would make a decent leader and premier. He may even soften the Neo-Con edge that Gordon Campbell brought when he commandeered the party from the Liberal membership. All that said, he's missing one chief ingredient: the media won't pander to him because he isn't one of their own. Christy Clark did the smartest thing any politician could do in career building: she co-opted the media. In the last three years, Christy Clark has been a radio host and columnist. As such, she ended up in the same room with all of the Vancouver and BC media types. You can't help but get friendly with them as you're waiting for some event to happen. The Liberals have understood that by cozying up to media, they take the edge off of their vitriol. Heck, Gordon Campbell ended up in a Hawaiian jail because Fred Latrimo liquored him up and sent him on his way. The media is going to highlight one of their own. Clark is going to give them privileged access. She's going to shine vs. the reanimated, angry, nearly anonymous and frumpy competition.
Should Clark get elected, she has said she would make the HST vote happen in the Legislature and not let the people vote. Conversely, she also said she would call an general election soon after taking over. I know there is legislation that makes for fixed election dates. There was also legislation to enforce balanced budgets. Campbell swept that away as soon as it got in the way of his Olympic spend-a-thon. The fixed election dates are a hollow add-on to our parliamentary system, so Clark can ignored fixed election dates with a click of her heels.
She would have to call in the legislature as soon as taking office. If Colin Hansen emerges as a supporter of Christy Clark, then he would be of a mind to mobilize his ministry to do rushed budget full of promises and spending to carry the government over the end of the fiscal year (March 30th). Clark would have to carry out her role by remote control as she would be the premier, but not hold a seat in the Legislature. It makes sense she could inherit Campbell's seat (he's leaving, she's a Vancouverite coming in) as well as his job, but only after an election.
Why should she hope for a by-election when a general election could carry a lot more bang for your buck?
The leadership convention will be done by the Feb. 27th, 2011. On the Monday, Clark can recall the legislature. On that week, Hansen will be requested to deliver a budget (expect an 11% or 10% HST in the bill to make it sexy). Give it another week to be pushed through the house-- a budget that is so juicy that no one would want to vote against it.
On March 7th, Clark will ask the Lieutenant Governor to dissolve the house and call an election. The minimum amount of time to let a campaign run is 36 days. Tuesday, April 12th would follow closely after that date. It's a very important date: the date comes five days before the NDP decide on a new leader. The NDP cannot compress their leadership process by much, so they can't really hold a leadership contest before April. Imagine the campaigning chaos that would happen with the NDP if they have to hold a leadership race during an election.
Clark, with a dynamic team and a spitfire attitude, will run unopposed: she will be against Carole James in the last moments of James' leaderhip; or versus an interim NDP leader; or versus no one at all. In BC, we elect MLAs, we don't elect leaders. But we have this US Presidential mindset that a vote for a party is a vote for its leader. If Clark pulls a snap election, the Liberals will be up against an opposition even more poorly prepared than Stefan Dion was when he handed Harper the last federal election. In this much disarray, she will give her Liberal party something that seemed impossible to deliver a month ago: she will give the Liberal vessel four more years of power.

Happy Holidays From Endor

2010-12-09T22:53:00.000-08:00

On December 14th, you can download a new adventure for The Force Unleashed II. In short, a Sith apprentice vs. Ewoks.

Five Elves No Waiting

2010-11-29T10:19:00.000-08:00

Mayfair Mall -- No Riff-Raff Please

2010-11-26T17:48:00.000-08:00

A friend told me a rumour: Mayfair Mall is booting some of its tenants. I was curious why and popped to the mall to check out what's up. I had to drive by the wrap-up of a SWAT team take down two blocks away. In the mall, police were prevalent looking at all of the shoppers searching for someone. Later came word that they were serving a warrant at the Traveller's Inn and it's unclear why they were combing over the mall.
35+ year old Mayfair Mall is the nearest mall to the troubled Rock Bay industrial area. It used to have a wide mix of stores: a meat shop, kitchenware, bookstores, toy stores, Woodwards and its food floor, pharmacies and clothing stores. That variety appears to be dwindling.
By January, Mayfair will have kissed good-bye to Build-A-Bear, Spencer Gifts and Blue Notes. Mayfair is opting to not renew their leases. Fans of Spencers Gifts have started a Facebook group. Mayfair Mall appears to be narrowing its focus to being a "fashion" mall of clothing stores appealing to 20-something women. If that's their goal, I wish them luck. Into the 1980's, department stores were active in the consumer marketplace: they had everything from toys to gardening, grocery to garters. Stores started to lop out product variety. In the 1990s, retail chains popped off of the landscape. Eaton's was the most telling. They were fashion-heavy. When they survived near oblivion, they came back and heavily invested in being fashion-centric to the exclusion of most of their other products. And they tanked and disappeared. Conversely, retailers like Wal-Mart dominate the marketplace by having something for almost everyone. This is a hard lesson that has denuded the retailer ecology.
It's a lesson that Mayfair Mall needs to pay attention to. Malls are effectively balkanized department stores with 100 departments (stores) that different people shop at. Mayfair's product mix is narrow enough to make it my third choice for a mall (#1 is Hillside; #2 Tillicum). I have a family. We choose a mall based on whether a place has something for everyone when we shop for sport (c'mon: on Black Friday how can shopping not been seen as something between a bloodsport and a pastime). Losing Spencers and Build-A-Bear is not enough to ignore Mayfair. But if I were a retailer not selling fashion, I would be concerned when the lease expires. Has Mayfair developed a conscious no-riff-raff approach to its retailer mix? The store with the bongs is getting tossed. The store selling teddy bears is out. Are they going to toss the cigarette shop; the game stores; or the candy store?
Mayfair is well within its rights to decide who holds a lease in the mall, but it's consumer-building approach isn't going to work. The customer make-up of the mall is not ideal-- they're consumers who spent too much money in shops instead of being thrifty. Swapping out shops is not going make Mayfair Mall be in a ritzy part of town or stop fugitives from Traveller's Inn from taking refuge in the remaining stores.

Congrats Justin Bieber

2010-11-22T10:03:00.000-08:00

Bieber wins big at the American Music Awards

Hey, Victoria, What's Important?

2010-11-21T20:16:00.000-08:00

Vote Yes Or No?

2010-11-19T12:55:00.000-08:00

I am biased in favour of Voting "No" for the bridge project loan. Here's what the Yes and No vote says to me about the decisions being made when you go to the polling booth:

Vote No

Maybe you just want to see the bridge repaired.
It's not that you want to keep the old bridge, you just don't want to green light a $50 million loan because of its implications.
The replacement isn't costing $50-million. That's just the loan amount. It's budgeted at $77-million. Budget overruns are a given. This bridge could be $90-million or more. If you let them take out the loan, the City Council will take the in-for-a-penny approach. The extra millions will come from your pockets.
This is your money and the City's decisions. Remember when they urged people to vote on the bridge design? Three viable candidate designs were foisted on us-- they purposefully omitted the repair option. The people spoke: they selected an option. Council took the second most popular option instead. Why? Because they're elected and they can do what they want until you vote them out of office. Dean Fortin said almost exactly that.
Shoot-from-the-hip finances aren't a good practice. The City budget is laid out in great detail. Every dollar is accounted for-- budgeted for. Dean Fortin drove by Our Place during the aftermath of a pedestrian vs. car incident. He was so moved, he immediately and unilaterally found money for them to expand their opening hours. If he sees something shiny to add to the bridge project, don't think he won't tack it on. He's not an engineer, but he's at the top of the pecking order in the project.

Vote Yes

The cost of the bridge works out to over $30,000 per foot of lane (bike, car, pedestrian).
If you are pro-cycling and anti-car, you are voting "Yes" to keep cars on the road. If you vote "Yes" sit out the next Critical Mass event because you don't really believe in the cause.
If you are pro-heritage, you are voting "Yes" to tear down a world famous artifact of bridge engineering.
If you are pro-rail, you are voting to keep light rail out of the downtown core until 2110. What? You hate light rail that much? Do you work for Exxon? Are you hoping we invent teleporters?
You are hoping that the Bay St. Bridge is okay and handles the capacity during bridge construction, despite the fact that the city hasn't planned for this.
You are hoping that this unproven design lasts 100 years-- though no other parallel to it has stood up for 100 years yet.
If you are in favour of replacing instead of repairing, remember your mindset at the next election. Vote to replace all of the positions on council with new councilors. New is better, right?
You should vote yes because of all of the money you, as a taxpayer, spent on pushing the Yes vote.

Yes: Victoria is Bridge Happy

2010-11-14T21:21:00.000-08:00

Victoria is bridge happy. In its 150 years (since the Fort Victoria days), we've gone through 4 downtown bridges. Two (Johnson St. and Point Ellice) are still standing. One bridge is critical for our infrastructure (the Point Ellice Bridge aka Bay Street Bridge) and we're not talking about it. The Bay St. Bridge funnels natural gas, electrical, communications and industrial traffic. Johnson Street Bridge is the kitschy bridge that can rise or lower. It funnels traffic between the low-rent part of town and the downtown core. With one bridge key to the functionality of our city and one that's visible when you're a tourist-- we're zeroing in on the Blue Bridge.
For a long time I have involuntarily been helping the "Yes" campaign. All of the those bus shelter ads; and flyers and media blitzes-- I paid for those. As a taxpayer, I have been obliged to pay for the tens of thousands of dollars wasted on making the "Yes" side prominent and the defacto choice.
To be clear: the "Yes" isn't for the bridge-- it's for the loan and the plan to rush ahead. Flash back a year or so ago. The Conservatives were desperate to continue running the country. They flushed billions of dollars into the country to keep things going. They largely flushed it into the ridings where they had MPs. Gary Lunn got a super expensive overpass to speed people destined for the airport. Keith Martin should have asked for an overpass on the Colwood Crawl (like his rival Troy DeSouza was pushing for); but he asked for nothing and nothing came. Victoria is the NDP nexus (home of federal Denise Savoie, provincial MLAs Rob Fleming and Carole James; and NDP-aligned mayor Dean Fortin). If any part of the country was not going to get funding, it would be Victoria. Add its political leanings and biases to the fact that we got a tonne of money for transportation overhauls in 1999 and it's clear: no money was coming.
This didn't stop Dean Fortin and his staff from rushing in a proposal to tap into all of that juicy funding.
Fortin said the bridge was in dire need of replacement. He was likely right. Starting the year that Fortin was elected to council-- during Alan Lowe's second term-- the maintenance budget for the Blue Bridge plummeted. Rainy Victoria does no favour to metal. Lamp standards in Victoria have rusted through and spontaneously fallen over not a block from the bridge. The bridge, being 86 years old, needs maintenance. If the City gives up on such maintenance, then, yes, the bridge will fall into disrepair and need to be replaced.
But the bridge maintenance neglect has only happened over the last six years. It is possible to overhaul the bridge. But that's not what the Action Plan would cover. Fortin, being an excellent grant writer, knows how to hammer a square peg into a round hole. The repair option was discounted, they found a sole source for the bridge replacement design and declared that it would only cost $50 million.
To hammer off the corners of the bridge project, they jettisoned the rail line. The best way to move a lot of commuters is rail, so this transit route (the bridge) isn't going to be available to move high density transportation.

Rail	Bus	Car	Bike
Best speed High density of passengers Available to the disabled Expensive to set-up	Mediocre speed High density of passengers Partially available to the disabled Cheap to set-up Contributes to gridlock	Okay speed Poor density of passengers Partially available to the disabled Cheap to set-up Makes gridlock	Poor speed Low density of passengers Not available to the disabled Cheap to set-up Contributes to gridlock

If we could go deep into hawk and fix all of our problems, for the budgeted amount to give us a bridge for 100 years, that would be great. To date, we have not kept a bridge for 100 years. Budgets run amok.
"YES" means that for the next 100 years (est. lifespan of the bridge) the rail line will terminate in Vic-West instead of continuing into downtown. So, the CRD's commitment to light rail as a means of moving people in the CRD will be stymied for 5 generations. "YES" doesn't give us the money needed to erect a bridge. It gives us $50 million. If the final cost is $60 or $80 million, we don't have a loan provision or a "blank cheque" checkbox on the referendum question. That additional cost will be our cost as taxpayers in the city and the region.

This has been a rushed process. Fortin and City Hall have painted themselves into a corner. They have said the ~~sky~~ bridge is falling, hence why they hit up the Feds for millions of dollars. They can't back down without losing face. Fortin knows how the wheels will turn. By 2012, he can try for the provincial NDP and forego re-election as mayor. When the bridge is erected and we are all burdened with the massive overruns, Fortin will have moved on up the political food chain. Should Carole James not be able to unseat the Liberal leader (aka Rich Coleman, John Furlong or Idi Amin), in 2013, a new sitting NDP MLA with leadership experience would be a front runner to take James' spot. Ida Chong is low hanging fruit and Fortin could have her seat after taking a year off from the job of running the cash strapped capital.

I am voting "NO" and I urge you to do the same.
"No" means:

No to the loan
No to excluding light rail in Victoria
No to a blank cheque for budget overruns
No to tearing down an 86 yr. old structure because an unproven structure could last 100 years.

"No" can also mean:

We still want to replace the bridge with a reasonable assessment of the situation; and multiple bids from contractors.
We need to ask what the role of Downtown Victoria will be in 30 years.
We need to ask what happens when the next big expense hits.
We need to remember that the Bay St. Bridge is even more important to the region.

Yeah, We've Forgotten

2010-11-11T10:04:00.000-08:00

Let's not forget our governments' long history of screwing veterans. In 1932 disenfranchised veterans from World War I marched on Washington in a ground dubbed "The Bonus Army."
While MacArthur, Patton and Eisenhower played roles in the drama, and this contributed to the political sunset of Hoover, FDR wanted to screw the veterans. When in office, Roosevelt turned them into workhorses as part of his overall New Deal plan to put people back to work. When 258 of the veterans-turned-workers died in a September 1936 hurricane, public sentiment shifted. This eventually resulted in the GI Bill of Right by 1944 (luckily passed in time for WWII veterans who were coming home). The effective reward for service resulted in the Boomer generation. World War II veterans were given education and home loans. This caused a bulge of post-labour workers with homes and it effectively created the "middle class". The Cold War sustained the military industrial complex and made the middle class a phenomenon that lasted into the 1980s.
Every generation for the last 100 years has had a great war in the US: The Spanish-American War, World War I (sure they arrived late, but they sure took credit for it), World War II (again, late for the party), the Korean War, the Vietnam War, then the first Iraqi War and the "War on Terror." Different wars had different outcomes, but only the veterans of World War II got the full force of the veteran benefits. War is meant to be avoided because of the cost in lives and the economic impact (ask the British-- after six years of war vs. the Axis, then endured another decade of rations and austerity). This holds true for veterans too: they come home after losing years of career building and potentially being maimed. Instead, the GI Bill of Rights gave veterans of World War II a net benefit for their time of service.
Pumping money into the economy through veterans gave us a a better educated workforce and a few decades of prosperity (allbeit through the pockets of spoiled Boomers). Veterans of the other wars have been forgotten and we've paid the price economicially.

Background

The practice of war-time military bonuses began in 1776, as payment for the difference between what a soldier earned and what he could have earned had he not enlisted.^[1] Before World War One, the soldier's military service bonus (adjusted for rank) was land and money—a Continental Army private received 100 acres (40 ha) and $80.00 at war's end while a Maj. Gen. received 1,100 acres (450 ha). In 1855, Congress increased the land-grant minimum to 160 acres (65 ha), and reduced the eligibility requirements to fourteen days of military service, or one battle; moreover, the bonus also applied to veterans of any Indian war.^[2] Breaking with tradition, the veterans of the Spanish-American War did not receive a bonus. After World War I veterans received only a $60 bonus. In 1919, the American Legion was created, and led a political movement for an additional bonus.

In 1924, over-riding President Calvin Coolidge's veto, Congress legislated compensation for veterans in recognition of their war-time suffering. Each veteran was to receive a dollar for each day of domestic service, to a maximum of $500; and $1.25 for each day of overseas service, to a maximum of $625. Amounts owed of $50 or less were immediately paid; greater sums were issued as certificates of service maturing in 20 years.

Some 3,662,374 military service certificates were issued, with a face value of $3.638 billion. Congress established a trust fund to receive 20 annual payments of $112 million that, with interest, would finance the $3.638 billion dollars owed to the veterans in 1945. Meanwhile, veterans could borrow up to 22.5% of the certificate's face value from the fund. In 1931, because of the Great Depression, Congress increased the loan value to 50 percent of the certificate's face value; yet, by April 1932, loans amounting to $1.248 billion dollars had been paid, leaving a $2.36-billion-dollar deficit. Although there was Congressional support for the immediate redemption (payment) of the military service certificates, President Hoover and Republican congressmen opposed that, because it would negatively affect the Federal Government's budget and Depression-relief programs. Meanwhile, veterans organizations pressed the Federal Government to allow the early redemption of their military service certificates.

Arrival in Washington

The Bonus Army massed at the United States Capitol on June 17 as the U.S. Senate voted on the Patman Bonus Bill, which would have moved forward the date when World War I veterans received a cash bonus. Most of the Bonus Army camped in a Hooverville on the Anacostia Flats, a swampy, muddy area across the Anacostia River from the federal core of Washington, just south of the 11th Street Bridges (now Section C of Anacostia Park). The camps, built from materials scavenged from a nearby rubbish dump, were tightly controlled by the veterans with streets laid out, sanitation facilities built and parades held daily. To live in the camps, veterans were required to register and prove they had been honorably discharged. The protesters had hoped that they could convince Congress to make payments that would be granted to veterans immediately, which would have provided relief for the marchers who were unemployed due to the Depression. The bill had passed the House of Representatives on June 15 but was blocked in the Senate.

U.S. Army intervenes

On July 28, 1932, Attorney General Mitchell ordered the police evacuation of the Bonus Army veterans. When the veterans moved back into their old camp, they rushed two policeman trapped on the second floor of a building. The cornered police drew their revolvers and shot and killed two veterans William Hushka and Eric Carlson who died later^[3]. When told of this, President Hoover ordered the army to effect the evacuation of the Bonus Army from Washington.

At 4:45 p.m., commanded by Gen. Douglas MacArthur, the 12th Infantry Regiment, Fort Howard, Maryland, and the 3rd Cavalry Regiment, supported by six battle tanks commanded by Maj. George S. Patton, Fort Myer, Virginia, formed in Pennsylvania Avenue while thousands of civil service employees left work to line the street and watch the U.S. Army attack its own veterans. The Bonus Marchers, believing the display was in their honour, cheered the troops until Maj. Patton ordered the cavalry to charge them—an action which prompted the civil service spectators to yell, "Shame! Shame!"

After the cavalry charged, the infantry, with fixed bayonets and adamsite gas, entered the camps, evicting veterans, families, and camp followers. The veterans fled across the Anacostia River to their largest camp and President Hoover ordered the assault stopped. However Gen. MacArthur, feeling this exercise was a Communist attempt at overthrowing the U.S. government, ignored the President and ordered a new attack. Fifty five veterans were injured with 135 arrested.^[4] A veteran's wife miscarried. The infant, Bernard Myers, died in the hospital after the incident but reports indicated the death was not caused by the evacuation of the BEF.

The Posse Comitatus Act—forbidding civilian police work by the U.S. military—did not apply to Washington, D.C., because it is the federal district directly governed by the U.S. Congress (U.S. Constitution, Article I. Section 8. Clause 17). The exemption was created because of an earlier "Bonus March." In 1781, most of the Continental Army was demobilized without pay. Two years later hundreds of Pennsylvania war veterans marched on Philadelphia, surrounding the State House where Congress was in session, and demanded their pay. The U.S. Congress fled to Princeton, New Jersey, and several weeks later, the U.S. Army expelled the war veterans from the national capital.

Aftermath

A movie, Gabriel Over the White House, was released by MGM in March 1933 that depicted the Bonus March, but with a more positive outcome. Produced by William Randolph Hearst’s Cosmopolitan Pictures, it concerned the actions of "President Hammond" who ends the depression and solves the marchers' problems through authoritarian means, which result in a stable economy, elimination of crime, and creation of world peace.

Following his election, President Franklin D. Roosevelt did not want to pay the bonus early either. In March 1933, Roosevelt issued an executive order allowing the enrollment of 25,000 veterans in the Civilian Conservation Corps for work in forests. When they marched on Washington again in May 1933, he sent his wife Eleanor to chat with the vets and pour coffee with them, and she persuaded many of them to sign up for jobs making a roadway to the Florida Keys, which was to become the Overseas Highway, the southernmost portion of U.S. Route 1. The third-strongest hurricane ever measured, the September 2, 1935 Labor Day hurricane, killed 258 veterans working on the Highway. Most were killed by storm surge flooding. After seeing more newsreels of veterans giving their lives for a government that had taken them for granted, public sentiment built up so much that Congress could no longer afford to ignore it in an election year (1936). Roosevelt's veto was overridden, making the bonus a reality.

Perhaps the Bonus Army's greatest accomplishment was the piece of legislation known as the G. I. Bill of Rights^{[citation needed]}. Passed in July 1944, it immensely helped veterans from the Second World War to secure needed assistance from the federal government to help them fit back into civilian life, something the World War I veterans of the Bonus Army had not received. The Bonus Army's activities can also be seen as a template for the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom in 1963, and popular political demonstrations and activism that took place in the U.S. later in the 20th century.

Ask What You Can Do For Your City

2010-11-05T10:47:00.000-07:00

Of all people, Gordo's brother, Michael Campbell put our social dilemma into sharp relief. In a recent radio column, he referenced JFK. Kennedy said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country"-- in other words: the government isn't a rich uncle; you have a duty to your fellow man, the people around you and by extension your society and country. Kennedy saw that our gimme culture was breeding well fed, selfish people who wanted to take.
We expect sympathy and civility but we need do that for others. People are driving a mile a minute in a ton of metal and plastic. When you're standing on a wide sidewalk, you expect that a motorist shouldn't take a shortcut over a meaty speed bump (you). That expectation is a network-- it's only as likely to be received as it is to be given.
But instead, we are a consumer culture. The politicians who give us more get elected. Those who say that they will give you more for less, get elected. In the US, it means they elected the Republicans who will squash medical insurance requirements. In Canada, Gordo expected that a 15% discount on our BC taxes would make us buy Campbell band Kool-aid.
The problem is that these rules are breaking down. Cheaper is better: if paying for homeless shelters and drug rehab costs money, not paying for it is better. Conversely, if working for your food and shelter costs money; and working a job takes time, then not working for food and shelter is better. The rich are bad consumers: they earn money-- sucking it out of the economy and holding onto it. The poorer you are, the better a consumer you are-- the more likely you are to spend 100% of your income on key indicators that drive the economy (food, clothing, doodads). It gets to a point where if you're so poor that you're not making ends meet, then going into debt makes you an even better consumer. The interest you pay on debts funnels into investment return for those bad rich consumers who just plunk their money in the bank. Poor people are responsible for the retirement riches of the last generation.
If you are a user-- one who sucks down the products of others-- you are fulfilling our economic model. The problem is that the more-for-less approach is rife through our society. No longer is it about a cheap burger-- we want more for less in our social responsibilities.
To bring this home, Victoria's Mayor's home was vandalized. If you know me or know what I've written about Dean Fortin, you know I'm not a fan of his. I don't think much of him or his track record. This week, a downtown homeless shelter closed to be replaced by a larger and more inclusive shelter just outside of the downtown core-- the new facilities make provisions for homeless families, people with pets and the "common" homeless crowd. The out-of-sight location has rankled the riff-raff. Victoria is a short distance from a number of campgrounds and wild areas (like Goldstream and Mount Doug Park)-- but when the "homeless" (I have to quote that phrase because "homeless" gives people the mistaken impression all of the people do not have a home-- many do have homes and family in the region) sought campgrounds, they popped their tents in downtown Victoria. It's where their friends hang out, so it's where they need to be. When Haitians were displaced and made literally homeless following the quake in January, they took up in tents in deplorable refugee camps-- they didn't say "nah... I'd like a waterfront refugee camp, please-- maybe near a liquor store." Homeless people along the I-5 corridor in the US base themselves at rest stops because it's close to water, electricity and some panhandling; they live out of the campers or their cars. If Victoria's campers were so desperate that they needed to live in tents, they would hunker down where necessities were available and campgrounds were established. In the more-for-less mindset of selfishness, why not use the campground near downtown. If one doesn't exist, find a lawyer to help you make any park into a campground. It makes a lifetime of being in the homeless society that much more bearable.
People are saying that the attack on Dean Fortin and his family's home is "class war" may be true. And, I'm sorry to say: we need to fight and win this class war. We need to commit social genocide. If people are homeless, they are supposed to be homeless for the shortest period of time. They're not supposed to set-up the artifacts of society: a social network, an infrastructure that allows them to stay in a static state. Homeless people depend on the charity of others-- they need civility so that they don't become human speed bumps. But there cannot be a "homeless culture"-- we need to destroy the culture-- depopulate their ranks by making poor people into prosperous people. But prosperity needs to be easier to achieve and people have to reach for it. Instead, vandals are spray painting houses in the night when homeless culture is being threatened by the long commute to the shelter.
Gordon Campbell provincially and Jean Chretien/Paul Martin federally have long abandoned the government's social responsibility to the poor. The situation hasn't improved under Harper and his Conservatives, but they're reaping the benefits of years of Liberal apathy. Affordable housing is a necessity but only shelters for high risk/special needs people and those at imminent risk of being homeless has been funded. By dropping the Federal rental building subsidies, developers have stopped building apartments and started build condos and have done so for a generation. The net effect is people who are on a precarious footing because the inventory of affordable housing-- just plain cheap apartments-- is very low in the Victoria area. If you lose at this musical chairs game of shelter, you're out on the street.
The solution is not your government. The solution is you. I will grant you that people on the street are in a well. It's a Herculean effort to improve, made harder if your support network is intent on maintaining their culture. So let's say that if you're on the street, you need help out of that culture. Either street people are seeking to escape and they need help; or they don't seek escape and are content. If they are content, they don't need any help. They aren't freed of their social responsibilities. I have to obey the law, be civil to others, sort my recycling and not litter. They have that responsibility too. If they abandon that civility in themselves then they should expect none in return.
Theoretically, there are about 700 street people in Victoria. So, does that say that 700 circles of friends and family have said, "nah... I'd rather you live on the street than surf on my couch"? If so, those 700 circles should be ashamed. The most basic units of society are your friends and family. If they are turning their backs on these people, then that's where the failure lies. When David Johnston won his right to sleep outdoors, his mother in the background should have been ashamed that she so completely abandoned her responsibility to both care for her son and instill in him a sense of responsibility. While he may be the pinnacle of the Capitalist mindset-- getting property near Cook St. Village for zero dollars; people like him are lousy, selfish people.

Gordon Campbell was Blackmailed

2010-11-04T07:37:00.000-07:00

Harken back to when privateer Gordon Campbell solidified his commandeering of the Liberal party. When Campbell talks about vicious personal attacks on those near and dear to politicians, he knows first hand how it's done. He used Gordon Wilson's affair with Judy Tyabji to ouster the centrist Liberal leader and tarnish Tyabji. Campbell knows how much damage personal attacks can bring because he has waged decades of attacks on people in the province: politicians, business people who have stood in his way, and individuals who made the mistake of being too poor or in just in the way of the Liberal NeoCon agenda.
Campbell is a selfish micro-manager who does what he wants when he wants. Any decent politician would have resigned after being caught drunk driving. When he drove up to announce that the Coquilhalla toll booths were being shut down, the Ministry of Transportation and Highways had no idea this was coming-- even the toll booth workers in the background of his announcement didn't know he was announcing an end to their jobs. This approach continued into last week. Obama does a weekly address via Youtube, but Gordo needed to spend a quarter million dollars of our money to tell us that he was going to autocratically take 15% off of the first $72,000. Whoop-de-doo. The BC tax is part of your overall tax bill, so Gordo was promising something like a 5% reduction on income tax. Also, he was changing the budget and taxation without legislation-- Campbell has forgotten that he's the leader of a government.
Two weeks ago, Campbell's course solidified. Before Gary Collins could testify, Basi-Virk were given a sweet deal so that they could close down the trial. No doubt there is enough evidence to refute any of Collins' claims of innocence about corruption. So, if Collins couldn't lie, he'd have to pass the buck to the Liberal micro-manager, Gordon Campbell. This is why the trial was stopped in its tracks-- if Collins' testimony is never heard then the trail of guilt can be interrupted.
If you've seen the Sopranos, you know that when someone chops up a body, they either get help or their buddies know that Loose-Lips-Larry is now part of the sausage. Christy Clark, who has long sought to get her seat in the Premier's office, left the legislature following strong connections between Bruce Clark and the BC Rail trials. Campbell, Collins and Clark are not the only three people who know what's in the sausage: others in the Liberal caucus and cabinet know what was going on-- they likely gabbed about it like they do all of their misdeeds.
Campbell has turned from a lightning rod to a boat anchor with his sinking approval rating. The rest of the Liberals want to stay in office. Campbell wanted to control his cabinet, but he can't afford to ouster all of the Liberals who know his involvement in the BC Rail trial. If he tossed them, they could spill the beans. If he tossed enough of them, he may even threaten the Liberal majority. So he had to shuffle them. That didn't do enough to fix the problem. If Liberals didn't act soon, Campbell would eventually sideline those in the know. So, members of the cabinet had the ammunition to toss Campbell: if he stays in office, they'll play connect the dots. This is why sturdy micro-manager Campbell made a choked resignation speech-- he had to leave of his own accord, or the next raid in the legislature would happen in his office.

Who is trying to buy Britain?

2010-11-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

This comes from Charlie Stross' site, but that site is crashing under heavy load, so I've reposted it here.

Did somebody just try to buy the British government?

By Charlie Stross

(Hat tip to [REDACTED] over on LJ for spotting this one ...)

(DUE TO THE HEAVY LOAD WE'RE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING, I'm going to disable comments for a couple of hours. Normal service will be resumed as and when the load drops below 50,000 readers/hour — cs.)

Hansard is the official printed transcript of the proceedings of the houses of parliament — in other words, the working log of the British government.

It is an authoritative primary source, and records every speech made in the House of Commons and the House of Lords. Interestingly, it also records words spoken under parliamentary privilege.

So when an eminent member of the House of Lords stands up six hours into a debate and blows the gaff on a shadowy foreign Foundation making a bid to buy the British state, and this is recorded in Hansard, one tends to sit up and take notice. And one takes even more notice when His Lordship tip-toes around actually naming the Foundation in question, especially after the throw-away about money-laundering for the IRA on behalf of the Bank of England. Parliamentary privilege only stretches so far, it seems, and Foundation X is beyond its reach. I'm going to quote at length below the cut — if you want to read the original, search for "1 Nov 2010 : Column 1538" which is where things begin to tip-toe into Robert Ludlum territory.

(NB: The venue is the House of Lords, at 10:42pm on November 1st, 2010.)

Lord James of Blackheath: At this point, I am going to have to make a very big apology to my noble friend Lord Sassoon [Treasury Minister], because I am about to raise a subject that I should not raise and which is going to be one which I think is now time to put on a higher awareness, and to explain to the House as a whole, as I do not think your Lordships have any knowledge of it. I am sorry that my noble friend Lord Strathclyde [Leader of the House] is not with us at the moment, because this deeply concerns him also.
For the past 20 weeks I have been engaged in a very strange dialogue with the two noble Lords, in the course of which I have been trying to bring to their attention the willing availability of a strange organisation which wishes to make a great deal of money available to assist the recovery of the economy in this country. For want of a better name, I shall call it foundation X. That is not its real name, but it will do for the moment. Foundation X was introduced to me 20 weeks ago last week by an eminent City firm, which is FSA controlled. Its chairman came to me and said, "We have this extraordinary request to assist in a major financial reconstruction. It is megabucks, but we need your help to assist us in understanding whether this business is legitimate". I had the biggest put-down of my life from my noble friend Lord Strathclyde when I told him this story. He said, "Why you? You're not important enough to have the answer to a question like that". He is quite right, I am not important enough, but the answer to the next question was, "You haven't got the experience for it". Yes I do. I have had one of the biggest experiences in the laundering of terrorist money and funny money that anyone has had in the City. I have handled billions of pounds of terrorist money.

Baroness Hollis of Heigham [Labour]: Where did it go to?

Lord James of Blackheath: Not into my pocket. My biggest terrorist client was the IRA and I am pleased to say that I managed to write off more than £1 billion of its money. I have also had extensive connections with north African terrorists, but that was of a far nastier nature, and I do not want to talk about that because it is still a security issue. I hasten to add that it is no good getting the police in, because I shall immediately call the Bank of England as my defence witness, given that it put me in to deal with these problems.

The point is that when I was in the course of doing this strange activity, I had an interesting set of phone numbers and references that I could go to for help when I needed it. So people in the City have known that if they want to check out anything that looks at all odd, they can come to me and I can press a few phone numbers to obtain a reference. The City firm came to me and asked whether I could get a reference and a clearance on foundation X. For 20 weeks, I have been endeavouring to do that. I have come to the absolute conclusion that foundation X is completely genuine and sincere and that it directly wishes to make the United Kingdom one of the principal points that it will use to disseminate its extraordinarily great wealth into the world at this present moment, as part of an attempt to seek the recovery of the global economy.

I made the phone call to my noble friend Lord Strathclyde on a Sunday afternoon—I think he was sitting on his lawn, poor man—and he did the quickest ball pass that I have ever witnessed. If England can do anything like it at Twickenham on Saturday, we will have a chance against the All Blacks. The next think I knew, I had my noble friend Lord Sassoon on the phone. From the outset, he took the proper defensive attitude of total scepticism, and said, "This cannot possibly be right". During the following weeks, my noble friend said, "Go and talk to the Bank of England". So I phoned the governor and asked whether he could check this out for me. After about three days, he came back and said, "You can get lost. I'm not touching this with a bargepole; it is far too difficult. Take it back to the Treasury". So I did. Within another day, my noble friend Lord Sassoon had come back and said, "This is rubbish. It can't possibly be right". I said, "I am going to work more on it". Then I brought one of the senior executives from foundation X to meet my noble friend Lord Strathclyde. I have to say that, as first dates go, it was not a great success. Neither of them ended up by inviting the other out for a coffee or drink at the end of the evening, and they did not exchange telephone numbers in order to follow up the meeting.

I found myself between a rock and a hard place that were totally paranoid about each other, because the foundation X people have an amazing obsession with their own security. They expect to be contacted only by someone equal to head of state status or someone with an international security rating equal to the top six people in the world. This is a strange situation. My noble friends Lord Sassoon and Lord Strathclyde both came up with what should have been an absolute killer argument as to why this could not be true and that we should forget it. My noble friend Lord Sassoon's argument was that these people claimed to have evidence that last year they had lodged £5 billion with British banks. They gave transfer dates and the details of these transfers. As my noble friend Lord Sassoon, said, if that were true it would stick out like a sore thumb. You could not have £5 billion popping out of a bank account without it disrupting the balance sheet completely. But I remember that at about the same time as those transfers were being made the noble Lord, Lord Myners [former Labour Treasury Minister], was indulging in his game of rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic of the British banking community. If he had three banks at that time, which had had, say, a deficiency of £1.5 million each, then you would pretty well have absorbed the entire £5 billion, and you would not have had the sore thumb stick out at that time; you would have taken £1.5 billion into each of three banks and you would have absorbed the lot. That would be a logical explanation—I do not know.

My noble friend Lord Strathclyde came up with a very different argument. He said that this cannot be right because these people said at the meeting with him that they were still effectively on the gold standard from back in the 1920s and that their entire currency holdings throughout the world, which were very large, were backed by bullion. My noble friend Lord Strathclyde came back and said to me that he had an analyst working on it and that this had to be stuff and nonsense. He said that they had come up with a figure for the amount of bullion that would be needed to cover their currency reserves, as claimed, which would be more than the entire value of bullion that had ever been mined in the history of the world. I am sorry but my noble friend Lord Strathclyde is wrong; his analysts are wrong. He had tapped into the sources that are available and there is only one definitive source for the amount of bullion that has ever been taken from the earth's crust. That was a National Geographic magazine article 12 years ago. Whatever figure it was that was quoted was then quoted again on six other sites on the internet—on Google. Everyone is quoting one original source; there is no other confirming authority. But if you tap into the Vatican accounts—of the Vatican bank--— come up with a claim of total bullion—

Lord De Mauley [Government Whip]: The noble Lord is into his fifteenth minute. I wonder whether he can draw his remarks to a conclusion.

Lord James of Blackheath: The total value of the Vatican bank reserves would claim to be more than the entire value of gold ever mined in the history of the world. My point on all of this is that we have not proven any of this. Foundation X is saying at this moment that it is prepared to put up the entire £5 billion for the funding of the three Is recreation; the British Government can have the entire independent management and control of it—foundation X does not want anything to do with it; there will be no interest charged; and, by the way, if the British Government would like it as well, if it will help, the foundation will be prepared to put up money for funding hospitals, schools, the building of Crossrail immediately with £17 billion transfer by Christmas, if requested, and all these other things. These things can be done, if wished, but a senior member of the Government has to accept the invitation to a phone call to the chairman of foundation X—and then we can get into business. This is too big an issue. I am just an ageing, obsessive old Peer and I am easily dispensable, but getting to the truth is not. We need to know what really is happening here. We must find out the truth of this situation.

I am left rubbing my eyes.

Did a not-obviously-insane member of the government — a corporate troubleshooter and Conservative life peer — really just stand up in the House of Lords and announce that a shadowy Foundation (that might or might not represent the Vatican) was offering the British government an investment of umpty-billion pounds in order to reboot the economy — free, gratis, with no strings attached?

Or am I just imagining the "no strings attached" clause?

Is NaNoWriMo Important to you?

2010-11-02T20:56:00.000-07:00

I have written three unsalable novels, two unsalable screenplays and one unsalable non-fiction book (Web development). I don't know how to write well, but I know how to write a lot.
Every year I angst for about 30 seconds that I am not diving into the NaNoWriMo. Maxwell Grant (one of my writing heroes) used to lap the NaNoWriMo by turning out two 60,000 word Shadow novels every month.
If you were an aspiring writer, what is more important to you? Accomplishing the goal of NaNoWriMo and completing a novel; or seeing what your friends are doing on Friday night via Facebook and Twitter. Facebook is worse than murder. The 500 million users expending a median of 10 minutes per day expend 126 lifetimes of time each day. If a car model used up 46,000 lives per year the CEO for that car company would be up on criminal charges.
To turn out 60,000 words, you need 60,000 "keeper" words-- words after typos and rethinks. When I write, I type at about 80 words per minute of which I end up with 20 "keeper" words per minute (WPM). Let's say I'm too fast which is why my writing sucks, so someone should be able to turn out 10 WPM.
To turn out a novel, you would have to write for 6,000 minutes or 100 hours. If you only use Facebook and Twitter a little then you can't mine those time sucks for found time. But what if you used those two sites for three hours a day? Would you give up Facebook and Twitter for a month and, in exchange, spend the time producing your Great [Country] Novel? Or, would you rather kibitz about what Jimmy and Ashley are doing on Friday night?

Live Local: Shoot Up Anywhere in the CRD

2010-10-05T12:51:00.001-07:00

VIHA has launched a number of needle exchanges, similar to the outfit that was run on Blanshard and then proposed last year to share a building with a sexual assault centre.

The Vancouver Island Health Authority made the interesting move of concealing the location of these publicly funded needle exchanges. (more: CFAX news).
So, it makes sense that the needle exchanges won't operate out of a corner store. But it seems more likely they will operate out of one of the many VIHA offices in the region. These regions are handy: they are near your home. When you're sick, you already go to these centers. Snug over and leave some room for the junkie who needs clean needles. Heck, you should be really accommodating and just be ready to hand over your wallet: those IV drugs don't come cheap.

This is a partial list of potential needle exchange locations:

Esquimalt Health Unit
530 Fraser Street
Victoria, BC V9A 6H7

Peninsula Health Unit
2170 Mount Newton X Road
Saanichton, BC V8M 2B2

Saanich Health Unit
3995 Quadra Street
Saanich, BC V8X 1J8

Sooke Health Unit
104 - 2145 Townsend Road
Sooke, BC V9Z 0H3

Victoria Health Unit
1947 Cook Street (confirmed)
Victoria, BC V8T 3P7

West Shore Health Unit
345 Wale Road
Victoria, BC V9B 6X2

Saanich
201-771 Vernon Avenue
Victoria, BC V8X 5A7

Tobacco Control Program
430-1900 Richmond Avenue
Victoria, BC V8R 4R2

Aberdeen
1450 Hillside Avenue
Victoria, BC V8T 2B7

Glengarry
1780 Fairfield Road
Victoria, BC V8S 1G7

Gorge Road Hospital
63 Gorge Road East
Victoria, BC V9A 1L2

Mount Tolmie
3690 Richmond Road
Victoria, BC V8P 4R6

Priory (Hiscock & Heritage Woods)
567 Goldstream Avenue
Victoria, BC V9B 2W4

Saanich Peninsula Hospital
2166 Mt. Newton X Road
Saanichton, BC V8M 2B2

Eric Martin Pavilion
2328 Trent Street
Victoria, BC V8R 4Z3

Hillside Seniors Health Centre
1454 Hillside Avenue
Victoria, BC V8T 2B7

Memorial Pavilion
1952 Bay Street
Victoria, BC V8R 1J8

Still want to promote your Etsy Site?

2010-09-17T18:03:00.000-07:00

If you still want to sell on Etsy, you need to promote your wares. Here are 52 resources you may find handy.

1000markets.com/
100craftlinks.com/
43things.com/ - Make your items some of your own 43 favorite things.
artzee.net/
blogger.com/ - Get a blog and crow about your cool stuff.
bluecanvas.com/
byhand.me/
www.cafepress.com - Make some funky design and have them print it on stuff.
cracker.com.au
craftcult.com
craftgawker.com
craftjuice.com/
craftopolis.com
craftsitedirectory.com/index.html
craftstylish.com/
craftylinks.com/
craftytips.com/
craigslist.ca/
creativemiscellany.info/ - A great example of an arts nexus.
creativity-portal.com/
daisycraft.com/
designstolove.com/
deviantart.com - Less cool than it used to be.
dmoz.org/add.html - Add it to the directory.
ecom.yahoo.com/dir/submit/intro/ - Add it to this other directory.
electroniccottage.com
esellerads.com
facebook.com/ - Make your own page in Facebook.
flickr.com/ - Photograph your stuff as you go.
freecraftfair.com/
getcrafty.com/index_f.php
indiefixx.com/
indiefriendly.com/
indiepublic.com/
instructables.com/ - Show 'em how it's done.
kaboodle.com/
linkedin.com/ - Network your way to sales
mixxmade.com/
pageflakes.com
plaincraft.com/
postaroo.com/postaroo
projectwonderful.com
regetsy.com/ - Bad can be good for sales
ryze.com/
seocompany.ca/directory/free-web-directories.html
squidoo.com/ - Make a lens shine it on your crafts
targetcrafts.com/
thehandmadedirectory.com/directory/
twitter.com - Microblog every micro-achievement
votehandmade.com
youcraft.org/
www.youtube.com - Do videos of you doing your stuff. Or, just take a 360° video of your thingee.

Educators Haven't Learned Anything

2010-09-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

Our daughter is in a split 4/5 class. There are two 4/5 splits in her school. My confidence is shaken in a school where they haven't grasped that 1/2 + 1/2 = 1. They really can take all of the Grade 4s from the two classes and put them in one Grade 4 class? Then, do the same with the Grade 5s? I honestly don't know why this is: I sit in the cheap seats and don't participate in the PAC (Parents Advisory Council).
My daughter has had some earnest teachers who seemed to really try to give her the best education possible.
In years past, I've come to know a lot of teachers outside of their teaching roles. My friend came from a family of teachers. My wife worked with a bunch of people who's spouses and their friends were teachers. Of these two samplings, what a bunch of bitter ambivalent people I've never seen elsewhere. It was like going to a Nirvana suicide pact clad in tweed.
I think the teachers' hands are tied are tied by the curriculum, cutbacks and the helicopter parents. As pointed out: 7 of 11 courses for her subjects have no bearing on academics. Is this because it allows kids to bomb out of the academic courses but still pass has because they rocked Phys Ed. and Daily Physical activity? Good teachers make school relevant, but the courses and the system at the baseline is a failure.
When I was in Grade 9 Science (I have to remind you that this is about Science), I was sad to hear a teacher tell us that water doesn't so much flow downhill, it actually flows towards the equator. He was able to prove it: The Fraser River travels south to the ocean. The Amazon empties north toward the equator. Even the Nile flows north into the Mediterranean (I didn't have the heart to bring up that the mouth of the Nile is in the northern hemisphere).
Fast forward a generation. Kiddo had a First Nations subject in Grade 2. There are hundreds of cultures that we need to appreciate, but this one got up to the front of the batting order. Okay. She happily told a friend of ours of First Nations heritage that "Konichiwa" is "First Nations" for "Hello." Where do I start with how wrong that is? There is no "First Nations" language: there are hundreds of languages among the First Nations, a number of those are under threat of evaporating as the speakers die off-- something we should be mindful of. Worst still, the Japanese word for "Hello" (Konichiwa) is not among those languages. She would have been better off getting no lessons than be taught a string of things are all so completely wrong. Right or wrong, that lesson filled an important role: each hour of schooling ticks her one hour closer to graduation.
I tell her to be good at school: to be good to her teacher and her classmates. I don't make the mistake of telling her to "learn lots." Learning is the tertiary role of the education system.

Whacky Manifesto

2010-09-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

Last month, I posited in a discussion on logic that anyone who places rational thought as the cornerstone of their decision making, should off themselves because life is ultimately futile. I don't subscribe to that approach, but that seems to be how the logic train would run.
Before is a reproduction of what Whack job James Lee (Burnaby resident) says of the world's problems and his take on the solution.

The Discovery Channel MUST broadcast to the world their commitment to save the planet and to do the following IMMEDIATELY:
1. The Discovery Channel and it's affiliate channels MUST have daily television programs at prime time slots based on Daniel Quinn's "My Ishmael" pages 207-212 where solutions to save the planet would be done in the same way as the Industrial Revolution was done, by people building on each other's inventive ideas. Focus must be given on how people can live WITHOUT giving birth to more filthy human children since those new additions continue pollution and are pollution. A game show format contest would be in order. Perhaps also forums of leading scientists who understand and agree with the Malthus-Darwin science and the problem of human overpopulation. Do both. Do all until something WORKS and the natural world starts improving and human civilization building STOPS and is reversed! MAKE IT INTERESTING SO PEOPLE WATCH AND APPLY SOLUTIONS!!!!

2. All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs' places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

3. All programs promoting War and the technology behind those must cease. There is no sense in advertising weapons of mass-destruction anymore. Instead, talk about ways to disassemble civilization and concentrate the message in finding SOLUTIONS to solving global military mechanized conflict. Again, solutions solutions instead of just repeating the same old wars with newer weapons. Also, keep out the fraudulent peace movements. They are liars and fakes and had no real intention of ending the wars. ALL OF THEM ARE FAKE! On one hand, they claim they want the wars to end, on the other, they are demanding the human population increase. World War II had 2 Billion humans and after that war, the people decided that tripling the population would assure peace. WTF??? STUPIDITY! MORE HUMANS EQUALS MORE WAR!

4. Civilization must be exposed for the filth it is. That, and all its disgusting religious-cultural roots and greed. Broadcast this message until the pollution in the planet is reversed and the human population goes down! This is your obligation. If you think it isn't, then get hell off the planet! Breathe Oil! It is the moral obligation of everyone living otherwise what good are they??

5. Immigration: Programs must be developed to find solutions to stopping ALL immigration pollution and the anchor baby filth that follows that. Find solutions to stopping it. Call for people in the world to develop solutions to stop it completely and permanently. Find solutions FOR these countries so they stop sending their breeding populations to the US and the world to seek jobs and therefore breed more unwanted pollution babies. FIND SOLUTIONS FOR THEM TO STOP THEIR HUMAN GROWTH AND THE EXPORTATION OF THAT DISGUSTING FILTH! (The first world is feeding the population growth of the Third World and those human families are going to where the food is! They must stop procreating new humans looking for nonexistant jobs!)

6. Find solutions for Global Warming, Automotive pollution, International Trade, factory pollution, and the whole blasted human economy. Find ways so that people don't build more housing pollution which destroys the environment to make way for more human filth! Find solutions so that people stop breeding as well as stopping using Oil in order to REVERSE Global warming and the destruction of the planet!

7. Develop shows that mention the Malthusian sciences about how food production leads to the overpopulation of the Human race. Talk about Evolution. Talk about Malthus and Darwin until it sinks into the stupid people's brains until they get it!!

8. Saving the Planet means saving what's left of the non-human Wildlife by decreasing the Human population. That means stopping the human race from breeding any more disgusting human babies! You're the media, you can reach enough people. It's your resposibility because you reach so many minds!!!

9. Develop shows that will correct and dismantle the dangerous US world economy. Find solutions for their disasterous Ponzi-Casino economy before they take the world to another nuclear war.

10. Stop all shows glorifying human birthing on all your channels and on TLC. Stop Future Weapons shows or replace the dialogue condemning the people behind these developments so that the shows become exposes rather than advertisements of Arms sales and development!

11. You're also going to find solutions for unemployment and housing. All these unemployed people makes me think the US is headed toward more war.

Humans are the most destructive, filthy, pollutive creatures around and are wrecking what's left of the planet with their false morals and breeding culture.

For every human born, ACRES of wildlife forests must be turned into farmland in order to feed that new addition over the course of 60 to 100 YEARS of that new human's lifespan! THIS IS AT THE EXPENSE OF THE FOREST CREATURES!!!! All human procreation and farming must cease!

It is the responsiblity of everyone to preserve the planet they live on by not breeding any more children who will continue their filthy practices. Children represent FUTURE catastrophic pollution whereas their parents are current pollution. NO MORE BABIES! Population growth is a real crisis. Even one child born in the US will use 30 to a thousand times more resources than a Third World child. It's like a couple are having 30 babies even though it's just one! If the US goes in this direction maybe other countries will too!

Also, war must be halted. Not because it's morally wrong, but because of the catastrophic environmental damage modern weapons cause to other creatures. FIND SOLUTIONS JUST LIKE THE BOOK SAYS! Humans are supposed to be inventive. INVENT, DAMN YOU!!

The world needs TV shows that DEVELOP solutions to the problems that humans are causing, not stupify the people into destroying the world. Not encouraging them to breed more environmentally harmful humans.

Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels.

The humans? The planet does not need humans.

You MUST KNOW the human population is behind all the pollution and problems in the world, and YET you encourage the exact opposite instead of discouraging human growth and procreation. Surely you MUST ALREADY KNOW this!

I want Discovery Communications to broadcast on their channels to the world their new program lineup and I want proof they are doing so. I want the new shows started by asking the public for inventive solution ideas to save the planet and the remaining wildlife on it.

These are the demands and sayings of Lee.

Lee? Lee Harvey Oswald? Lee Valley Tools? Lee Kum Kee Asian Sauces? If he wants to reduce the population, he should have paraphrased the motto that "charity starts at home" and tested the gun on himself.

Man, this is going to be a tough day for people with the name "Lee"

More on James Lee

Lee, James savetheplanetprotest.com@freeprivateregistration.com
P.O. Box 81024
Burnaby, BC V5H 4K2
CA
852-3594-1708 (great number... good form validation, guys)

Technical Contact:
Hostmaster, Domain hostmaster@doteasy.com
Suite 210 - 3602 Gilmore Way
Burnaby, BC V5G 4W9
CA
(604) 434-4307 Fax: (604) 608-6832

So, if you're Burnaby PO Box is in the 81000 range, expect it to be MUCH harder to open your postbox tomorrow morning.

Personalization Has Run Amok

2010-08-31T07:38:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning, we were leaving the grocery store. This moron and his mate in a small black car eased into three small car spots. By parking at a right angle to lanes, we was able to use three small car spots with his single small car. He got out. His wife got our with the couple's Starbucks cups. He went to the trunk, fished out his reusable bags (aw... he's fallen for Thrifty's greenwashing). Then they traipsed into the grocery like all was right in their world.
And why would this be wrong? After all: he wanted three spots and grey haired baby got three spots. He personalized his parking preferences.
You go to Starbucks and you can personalize how much foam, de-caf, half-caf, room for cream, hot, cool, lots of water, no-whip, extra-whip, double shot, yadda yadda. Long gone are the days of getting a cappucino or a latte: you can have it exactly like you want.

On the roads, we've been lopping out lanes that can hold lots of cars capable of holding four or more people in favor of bike lanes. Bikes are personal transports. Three people ride: me, myself and I. The idea of letting everyone use the roads has been supplanted by Critical Mass. If you had a Whites Only highway, you'd be a pariah. But if selfish people comandeer a road, exclude cars and make the pedestrians feel like they're playing Russian roulette, they get an AttaBoy for being so proactive. Last week, a bicyclist almost killed my daughter in a cross walk. When I yelled at the bicyclist, he flipped me the bird. He had it right: his personalized route of choice was right through the middle of my little girl and the bicyclist almost got what he wanted. I love hearing bicyclists on the sidewalk call, "watch out!" to people who don't think to look behind them while they're walking. Bicyclists don't have to share the road, they have to expect others to share the road.

I caught a whiff of this trend starting in the 1990s. When I was almost out of retail hell, I worked in the mens wear selling blue jeans. Levis was able to make personalized jeans: jeans that were custom made to your dimensions. They coupled automated manufacturing with the supply chain. No longer did you have to live this jeans that matched your waist and leg measurements, you could have it your way.
Social Media is the culmination of this concept. You don't follow all of the news, you follow your own track of news and interests to the exclusion of what else is happening in the world. Are there break-ins next door? Who cares: you're into Bonsai Kittens. It's ironic that something with "Social" in the term is so capable of allowing you to make very selfish choices. Our world has become so complex, that people are simplifying it by abrogating their social contract to be part of the world around them. When people do that: two lanes isn't enough for your bicycle; continents can sink without concern; and anywhere you stop is your personalized parking spot.

Are We $10 away from Solving Homelessness?

2010-08-25T22:48:00.000-07:00

The question was Tweeted "vwould (sic) you support a regional levy (10$ per household) to help end homelessness?" to the Victoria people.
That's one of those great questions: "Would I pay $1 to win $1 million?" Duh! Of course I would pay $1 to get a million. Moreso, I would pay $10 if that was all that it took to end homelessness and the suffering of the homeless. But just as I'm not going to make a million-to-one return on my dollar, $10 isn't going to end homelessness and it's ridiculous to think so.
Homelessness is like the common cold. There are a hundred varieties so one solution isn't going to do it. As I said before, there are the dilettantes-- children of well-to-do locals who are downtown because it's hip (everybody hates a tourist). There are dilettante homeless: those who summer here like its the soup kitchen version of the Hamptons. There are the mentally ill: budget cuts and the mainstreaming of mental illness has made institutionalizing them unlikely.
There are drug addicts who can't hold it together. In a recent TV News piece, they showed a woman smoking up crack 5 times in a single day until the view of a video camera. At $5+/rock and a minimum of five smoke-ups in a day: she's spending $750 per month on crack, which is comparable to the going rent in town for a bachelor suite. So, she's not poor: she's a drug addict with a healthy amount of money.
There are people who are down on their luck. Usually, you think this is all of the homeless population, but it's actually just a portion. We need a proportional response to the faces of homelessness to address them with financial aid, drug treatment, forced relocation and in some cases they need to be charged with the crimes they commit.

What would $10 do to end homelessness? It would throw a million dollars a year at the problem. Scenario 1: Let's assume that there's no infrastructure in the way to siphon the cash and every dollar goes into the pockets of the poor. There are an estimated 750 homeless in Victoria. Evenly distributed, they would get $1330+ per year or about $111 per month in benefit from this levy. That's not even 1/6 of a crackhead's habit, so how could it help?
Scenario 2: Affordable Housing. Condos are going for about $250,000 in Victoria. Let's assume that we can make affordable housing for $100,000 per unit. Your million dollars a year will pay for ten of the homeless people to become homey. Cue the slow clap: at this rate we'll solve homelessness in just 75 years.
Scenario 3: Let's say 1/3 of the homeless are drug addicts and we're going to round them up, tie them down and treat them. First off, it's a massive violation of civil liberties. Second, people who don't want to clean up, will relapse. So, we dole this money on the 250 drug addicts who need this million dollar levy. At $4000 per head, let's hope the drug treatment takes the first time around, because drug beds and trained professionals are expensive. If you want to solve the problem, you don't hire discount caregivers to stretch the money.

A million dollars a year will not go very far. But this does beg the question: there are a 100,000(+/-) residences in the CRD. Where are the hundreds of millions of dollars in municipal taxes, parking, fees, fines and levies going now? Could the City of Victoria and the other municipalities help out the homeless with what amounts to less than 0.5% of the budget? Why are we getting hit up for yet another levy? If homelessness is important, maybe some of the other shopping spree items (sewage treatment, Blue Bridge, etc.) could be slowed down to make the funds available.
I think we'll be lucky if we get to the end of the Victoria Mayor's term without being poorer than the homeless at the rate he's spending our money. It all reminds me of the Burnside Gorge Community Center. He cut the ribbon with a lot of hooplah and showed off the big screen TVs. Two weeks later, the TVs were stolen. Two weeks after that, I visited the site for a birthday party: the doors were locked (no money for staffing?) and there were builders liens taped to the front window. Will I drive up to the City of Victoria border one day and see the same?

Make Millions In Minutes-- Sign Up Now!

2010-08-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

The title is a little hyperbole but it's close to the claims I'm getting in from these spammers/scammer/shrewd businessmen. One I saw this morning: Mike Filsaime mentored one of these characters to a product launch that netted $250,000 in a week. Really? I'm mean: really?
If it's possible to make $250k in seven days, then everyone should be doing it, right?

So here's the challenge. Make me rich through online marketing, guys. Take me and mold me into a millionaire.
- I write about programming, Drupal, Cthulhu, polymer clay, fiberglass, geekdom (eg. Star Trek), Victoria current events, dieting and cooking. It's what I know about that I want to write about.
- I don't have a book. Well, to be technical: I wrote three unsalable novels, one unfortunate screenplay, one teeny cookbook, one massive IT book and a full novel that reads "All work and no play makes Jack a Dull boy" repeated 7600+ times.
- I don't have a website. Again, to be technical: we have our "company" website, my personal site, a few blogs that I am slowly chloroforming, and a string of sites that have as much popularity as a BP Free Hugs kiosk.
I have an Adsense account. It makes less money than a hobo in the desert.
I have used AdWords: it's a total dud for generating sustained revenue, likely because it drove traffic to a non-existent product. These online marketers are big on "products."

I am throwing down the gauntlet:

To: Joel Comm, Michael Cheney, Mike Filsaime, Jeff Johnson, Rachel Long (and the nameless ones who I have had GMail auto flag as spam)
Subject: Proof In Pudding Please

Dear Sirs/Ma'am,
Your plans work or they do not. You talk about lots of people who have made large sums of cash, but you are vague on the details. For example, the 4-hr. Work Week, is clear about how to keep the time-thieves at bay and how to delegate mundane tasks. Your problem is that you sell nothing more than a "system" or a "method" without more in-depth details. Are you teaching me how to bake bagels, make porn or sell e-books? I can't tell.
Has anyone made money with your system? If so, let's see names and contact emails of people who have actually profited from listening to you. C'mon: if this works well, you have many people to draw from and a couple should be so grateful that they can dish on details.

Yours Truly,

Mike DeWolfe

I think that there is no one out there who actually benefited from their system. Instead, they benefited themselves. Their system is the huckstering of the promise. This is the digital version of Amway. I can slam Amway because whole "upstream downstream" scam of Amway is so well known that even Amway dropped their own company name. I do believe that this handful of people have made money themselves and they've done so on the backs of others. If so, there should be legions of victims. Are you there? Did you fall for the Get Rich Quick schitck, but instead contributed to the cash pile that a few dubious people have been gathering? If so, I'd love to hear what you were promised and how your money and effort didn't turn into anything. How much did they soak you for? Did they hit you with recurring charges? Tell me how! (use the comment system, please).

Why Etsy Sucks

2010-08-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

*** DISCLAIMER: I tried and left Etsy some time ago. The recent experiences speak not to Etsy, but to the dynamics and shortcomings of Etsy's model ***

I fight crickets. Crickets are that sound you hear when nothing else happens. Comedians hear it when they suck. I hear it when I put something out there and no one notices it. For example, over a year ago, I began re-imagining lawn ornaments as zombies. I dislike lawn ornaments, so I thought it was a befitting response to give the critters an undead patina. In the last year, I sold one, gave one away and then a month or so ago, I got a request to send out another one-- for cash! I mailed it. Supposedly, the address was incorrect, so it meandered back. Canada Post wanted to charge me to send the item, and they wanted to charge me to get it back. I sent it under a rate to be delivered in 5 business days. It took 15 business days to wander back. I was able to argue into not paying to get back what Canada Post failed to deliver. I heard a rattle when I obtained the package. One side was caved in. It was clear that a 2:1 ratio of packing peanuts to goods was not good enough. The gnome was smashed up. The sloppy handling of packages benefits Canada Post: the way to ensure that your package arrives safe is to really overpack it and up its gross weight. I packaged up an alternative gnome for my understanding customer and sent off of. The first time, it cost $26.20, didn't get delivered and did return busted. This time, I added a lot more packaging (including an additional layer of cardboard). To deliver this new package would cost $44+. Thanks, Canada Post!

Either we suck at shipping or shipping sucks. When we sold alot of stuff via eBay, shipping was our Achilles Heel. A $10 book cost the buyer $20 ($10 for the book, $10 for the postage). The math doesn't work. When it's mailed there is a chance it won't arrive because of the delivery chimps (I worked in Canada Post-- there is total disregard for the packages). This is why I have not embraced Etsy. My items at Etsy never sold. Items that hit the front page moved. Items that got attention through outside means sold. It you listed an item Etsy all you accomplished was wasting some time and funding Etsy. Some people sell stuff via Etsy. When I do the math, I shake my head. A great mentor, Richard Tucholka from Tri-Tac Games gave me some insight in the formula for manufacturing. Your manufacturing cost has to 20% of your intended retail price. He wasn't trying to rip people off-- to the contrary, he nailed it. Let's take one of his cool books (eg. a Fringeworthy supplement):

$2.00 - Printing
$2.50 - Royalties, profit, Michigan yacht tax, etc.
$1.00 - Distributor cut
$4.50 - Retailer mark-up
------
$10 - Retail price

If you handcraft an item for Etsy, it's manufacturing cost needs to look something like this:

$2.00 - Supplies (rafia, wool, glue, etc.)
$20.00 - Construction labour (1 hr. @ $20/hr.)
$10.00 - Listing time (photography and copywriting) - 0.5 hrs. @ $20/hr.
$0.55 - Etsy listing and comission, if sold.
------
$32.55 - Retail price

As a customer, would you pay $32.55 for an item that had $2.00 in supplies???

For me and my lawn ornaments, I cheated the curve. I figured that a $30 lawn ornament-- after I do my handiwork-- is worth $35. I could have delusions that I've made it become a $100 artifact, but that's a demented fantasy. So, I widen that gap of $35 retail vs. $30 market baseline by buying the lawn ornaments off season. These bunnies and gnomes are plastic gold in May, but come August, they're the ugly girls at the prom. I buy them cheap, doctor them and let them linger for 9 months listening to the sound of the crickets.

Buying them cheap doesn't get past the Postal problem (no wonder people go Postal). This isn't the problem we see in retail. I've worked retail, I've seen the shipping costs. The cost per item drops because of the items are bundled by the distributor. There is a baseline expense per package. Ramping up the size of the package and its weight doesn't make an exponential expense: it levels the curve. But that theory can't work. The market is made of individual crafts sold to individual people. You can't make someone buy multiple items.
So, in a market where unique creations go to individual buyers, how can you beat the curve?

Some thoughts:

Sell the idea, not the product. I can't work a craft show because of how many people walk by items and say, "oh-- I could make those." Yes you could, Brainiac. Thanks for the demoralization. Martha Stewart has founded an empire (its appropriate theme song is the Imperial March) by showing people how to fashion things out of craft supplies (ah, what a lovely coffee table you made out of ribbon and polymer clay). Make videos and photo essays on how you did it. Then, monetize the how-to with Google Adsense.

Give up on Etsy. Unique handicrafts and the Internet mail order don't mix. Maybe that's true. When you weigh how much you would get paid slinging slurpees, maybe the handicraft thing isn't cost effective. Sell your items at craft fairs. Market them yourself for the rules you decide to practice.

Distribute. If you could get your items to a shop that people could walk into, you could follow the traditional distribution and retail model. The problem with brick-and-mortar is that they are fixed in one spot. The Internet beats storefronts in that a website is every and nowhere so it fits better. This is especially true in that your unique item cannot appear in two stores at the same time.

Distribution Hubs. Ship all of your items to a more central location then sell the items for there. It doesn't get past the gnome smashers, but it means that your items could be shipped from a cheaper jurisdiction (eg. bulk ship away from Canada Post and to the US where shipping is much cheaper). This approach has a long list of downsides. So much so, it's a near total fail.

Wait for Transporters. The Internet can transmit photos of cool items, but you still have to physically move the items themselves. Fablabs-- or 3D printers-- are still fringe items. You can buy them, but they are expensive, slow and few people have them. So, the only way to get a good distribution model for unique is wait for science fiction to become science fact and just beam your handicrafts to waiting customers. Yes, that idea is crazy but so is the idea that you can get rich from Etsy.

So? What do you think? Do you make money through mail order? Are your customers happy? What's working for you?

What the Walmart is your problem!

2010-08-20T07:41:00.001-07:00

Walmart, not beloved at all, now has a new purpose: you can use it as a profane word.
Examples:

What the Walmart is your problem?

You can stick your opinion in your Walmart!

I got Walmarted by a bunch of sailors on shore leave.

What the Walmart is that?

Oh, Walmart me!

Predator Stalks Quadra-Hillside Area Targetting Boys

2010-08-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

This came from a wall post on Facebook. I thought it was important that this information "jump the wall":

"some creep in town tried to snatch my little buddy [Name Omitted] the other day , mom and dad are not happy and neither am I.I hope someone out there finds him before I or his parents do... "

This morning around 11:30, my son, [name omitted], and his friend were chased by a car, while walking. The man in the car got out, & attempted to abduct them {it seems} but thankfully the boyz were together and ran as fast as they could away..the man got back in his car and continued to chase them. While the car chased, [name omitted] friend pulled out his cell and called 911, which spooked the driver so he took off!

If you are driving around today..or walking, please be on the look out for a bright green {almostneon} Civic type, 2 door car. Man was tall, had blonde hair tied in a ponytail & brown eyes. this is my baby...my love the police station @ 250-995-7654 quote case:10-32948.{you can also call me on my cell @ [number omitted]}

thank u for just reading! this mumma isn't happy and hopez this douchebag getz caught!!!!>_<

pee.S

this happened in the Quadra~Hillside area of Victoria! left off Hillside heading towards Hillside mall!

Top Ten Teas

2010-08-17T22:59:00.000-07:00

I realized that I like tea. I may be a tea snob. Here's my top ten teas. I like them hot and iced. Best of all-- I like a strong cup of tea poured over a cup full of ice.

Japanese Green Tea
Red Rooibos
English Breakfast
Orange Pekoe
Jewel of India (from Silk Road)
Chamomile
Earl Grey
Oolong
Apple Tea
Jasmine Tea

Nanaimo2Victoria : Dead Cars and Happy Bicyclists Get a Police Escort

2010-08-16T10:35:00.001-07:00

Traffic was backed up for hours on the single highway that goes south on the island into Greater Victoria. The record heat was compounded by traffic moving from 10 to 30 kmh down the highway. The net effect left many cars overheated and left for dead on the side of the road. There are claims that this was because of a poorly planned bike event. The "Nanaimo to Victoria" (N2V) charity ride run that was even given a police escort so that it could occupy the whole of the southbound route.

I guess "sharing the road" means something different to a bicyclist. As motorist, it means I'm supposed to accomodate those on bikes. As a bicyclist, it means "Get off the road-- I have sense of self righteousness and your vehicle uses gasoline."

If your car was one of the ones that paid the price for this charity, here's a list of sponsors you can thank for helping to make this all possible:

La-Z-Boy
Oak Bay Bicyles
Penninsula Co-op
Old Victoria Water Company
Harbour Side Mechanical
Garden City Transportation

Victim reports:
www.twitter.com/AmyBHutchin
www.twitter.com/emilyamily
www.twitter.com/isleofchris
www.twitter.com/lonelyroads
www.twitter.com/mandyleith
www.twitter.com/opencinema
www.twitter.com/mandyleith
www.twitter.com/amesly210
www.twitter.com/sylviab1
www.twitter.com/shannonaroche
www.twitter.com/Pole_Trix
www.twitter.com/maddidowney
www.twitter.com/SkimbleCat
www.twitter.com/shelter68
www.twitter.com/akanaphoto
www.twitter.com/Matteusclement
www.twitter.com/Phlegyas
www.twitter.com/KirstySheldon
www.twitter.com/bobafeh
www.twitter.com/money_baby2

Why Aren't Bikes Licensed?

2010-08-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

There are more bicycles on the road than there are motorcycles. You can find them anywhere: on highways, side roads, foot paths and sidewalks. In Vancouver, 1600+ bicycles are reported stolen each year. In the 1920s, you didn't need a drivers license nor did you need your car licensed. Cars were uncommon, so there was no need to catalog automobiles or vet their drivers. As the volume of wheels on the road rose, licensing came into play. It's about time this happens for bicycles.
I'm not talking about requiring insurance: if a bicyclist injures themselves that's their own matter. I'm not talking about licensing bicyclists: many of the people who bicycle are unable to pass any other sort of driving test, so it would be unfair to bar them from cycling. I'm just talking about making bicycles non-anonymous vehicles.
If all bikes needed a legitimate license, then stolen bikes would either pack the same stolen plate making detection easy; or they would need a new plate which would raise a flag.
I'm not going to pretend otherwise, my chief reason for pushing this idea would be to get the bad actors off the road. Bad bicyclists would be easier to identify. When they strike a pedestrian, they could be described better than "a guy in jeans and a t-shirt" or when the whizz through an intersection and cause a pile-up of cars that swerve to avoid them, they would have less anonymity.
We would not be the first jurisdiction to license our bikes. California state law has provisions for licensing, leaving it to each municipality to decide if they should or should not license bikes. The city of Davis CA does license the bikes. It's clear that this license doesn't cause wind resistance or any other of the other complaints that accompany the call to license. Detroit had a law on the books since 1964, but when city council there tried to push adherence Cyclists Unite formed up organized resistance to the legislation.
Why is there active resistance? Who does the lack the licensing help? Bad bicyclists wouldn't be able to ride into the sunset after hitting pedestrians or causing accidents. Bike thieves would have a harder time moving stolen bikes.
So why the resistance? Is this crypo-libertarianism? There are calls for regulating the Internet that are pushed back because, "we don't need more legislation." Cellphone companies love this dynamic. While I can complain if my landline has spotty service or bad billing practices, both the cellphone companies and the CRTC remind me that celluar service isn't so heavily regulated. Is the "do we need more regulation" call keeping the stickers off of bikes?
The biggest battle-cry against licensing comes from the concept that it could put a chill on alternative transportation thereby bringing about accelerated global warming. In other words: bicyclists are okay using our sidewalks as velodromes, but they will park their bikes if asked to stick a $10 label on their bike. Are bicyclists really so tepid when it comes to combatting climate change?
Everything else on the road gets a license plate. Those other vehicles also require insurance in case of accidents. And, those other operators need to be vetted through a driver license process. All I'm suggesting is the first step: license bikes.

Why haven't you joined the Pirate Party?

2010-08-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

You need to join the Pirate Party of Canada.
Don’t take the “Pirate Party” as a gag party, like a modern day version of the Rhino Party. Look at some of the party names: “Canadian Conservative-Reform Alliance Party” (CCRAP) or Social Credit (was that a Facebook version of Visa?) or the PDA (“Progessive Democratic Alliance” not “Public Display of Affection”).
The Pirate Party isn’t just about piracy or the freedom to get movies from Bit-torrent. It’s about our future-- it may be about the survival of the species and our planet. I kid you not.
Intellectual property-- the concept that an idea is like a physical creation that is boxed; or reproduced and sold for money; or owned by one person at a time-- it’s all a faulty concept rooted in a time when intellect was misunderstood. Those obnoxious ads that runs in front of a video nowadays ask if you would shoplift? Of course you wouldn’t: taking a physical object deprives someone else of that physical property-- that is how property works. Look at a piece of intellectual property such as a movie: If people pay to sit in a room and watch the movie, it’s all legal. If you’re invited into the room, it’s legal. If you sneak in and watch the movie, are you a thief? If watch a movie and you have a lousy memory that intellectual property fades from your mind-- you could keep going to the movies to see that movie again and again: reacquiring the intellectual property like it was the visual version of a bag of popcorn. What happens if you’re like me? I have a photographic memory: I watch a movie and it’s in my brain. I can re-run it or play segments when I’m bored. Did I steal that intellectual property as a side effect of how my brain works? Back to that shoplifting question: there’s one purse and once a single purse snatcher has it, it’s gone for the next person who comes along and wants that purse. Play a movie in a theater for one person or 300 it’s the same movie played to the same room. Intellectual property does NOT work like physical property. When I buy lumber, I can cut it any way I choose. If I made a bench our of some 2x4s, I could sell that bench. If I bought a comic book, I could pop out the staples and wallpaper my basement with its pages. Why can’t I white-out the word balloons and put my own words in its place? Intellectual property storage takes mass and delivery, but the property itself has no mass and can be moved around at nearly the speed of light. Steal it and the original remains intact and unharmed. Sell it and you still have it to sell again. Sell one copy or a million and the price is the same for everyone. Who’s stealing from who?
We have been on a march for thousands of years: the march of discovery and innovation. During the Stone Age, the advances were tiny (a better way of tying a spearhead to a staff, for instance). The pace of innovation has been accelerating. Now, it’s a breakneck pace. People are building on foundations of people who came before them. You don’t need to learn how a computer works or fashion one out of parts-- you only need buy one then create on that platform. If the information is available, you can build on it. Because of the nature of intellectual property, innovation is choked off. If you improve on a drug, you’re violating the pharma patents. If you accidentally parallel someone else’s innovation you can violate someone else’s patent through your your innovation. Squatters on intellectual property can knee-cap innovation and slow the pace by making outside re-use impossible. The Free Open Source Software movement shows how faulty this model is: software developers let out their products with the code attached and available for re-use and alteration. The outcome is a better product. Some pieces of software have rapidly evolved through this process, it’s happened for very little money and it is improving our lives. Many of the underlying communication systems we use every day are built atop of this open source software. If patent holders and copyright holders can rest on their laurels, they don’t have to innovate. Worse still, they can stymie the innovations of others. The capitalist system that got us into this mess cannot be used to get us out of this mess of environmental disasters, economic disparity and general misery worldwide. Tell a person living on parched earth in East Africa that we can't irrigate his fields with desalinated sea water because the precursor research for the technology is locked up in patents held by large companies who would happily spend millions to keep their intellectual property under lock-and-key. Go down to the Gulf of Mexico this Fall and tour the ravaged towns and let them know that we could have tamed global warming if only we could have done a mashup of a dozen technologies held by multi-nationals, but that no one could afford to license all of these technologies solely to experiment and build on top the previous innovations.
Moving away from technology think about post-modern art, rap music and the concept of the mash-up. We have a crazy amount of media in our world: TV shows, movies, music, print, Internet traffic. All of these torrents of information are out there. What if Andy Warhol was sued for coloring a Campbell’s soup can? Should we throw rapper in prison for sampling a couple seconds of music? Should the guy who re-did the Shining trailer as a comedy get a criminal record? There is an inherent confusion in the concept of intellectual property. You can buy it like lumber. You can go to jail for stealing it. But you can’t slice and dice it once you own a copy of it? This model does protect creators, in theory. But it only offers significant protection to the large corporate interests. When was the last coffee shop concert where police swept through looking for illicit recording to protect the artist on the stage? When the CD levy went into effect, it ensured that money that the likes of Sarah Maclachlan lost through illegal burning of her music was recouped. But, it make it that much more expensive for the indie artist with a stack of burnable CDs and a slim profit margin.
The current system looks for way to keep the creations of people under lock-and-key. It doesn’t find a way to let it out. The RIAA and MPAA are focussing on penalties and litigation. They need to take a page from Youtube. Youtube scans its content for intellectual property. It does then do a ‘content match’ and couples a video with advertising to drive revenue to the creator of the said intellectual property. Instead of bottling it up, it monetizes it.
The RIAA’s penchant to sue people for downloading is putting a chill of copying CDs. If they succeed, then the reams of old intellectual property they have is still salable and profitable. They can sit tight and sell more copies of old Rolling Stones CDs. Which song resonates more? ‘Satisfaction’ or some indie song that doesn’t get air time? Because they can perch on old material and regurgitate, the record industry doesn’t need new material. It’s the dead zone of pop music that’s hitting sales, not downloads. It’s a dead zone because it’s cheaper to re-issue old music than it is to nurture new talent. The same is true from Hollywood. Once they have a franchise, they milk it for the last drop. The concept of intellectual property is making for a stagnant and boring marketplace: the big players are holding position through litigation; and the upstarts are shouted out by the big guys. If there were a best-before date on content, then companies would not be able to keep spitting up the same-old, same-old. They would have to keep going out there to find new talent. And the rip-mix-mashup crowd could mine the expired content for their own usage.
The Pirate Party’s overhaul of intellectual property concepts is the central plank of their platform. The RIAA’s attacks on downloaders is their desperate attempt to keep the status quo even if they have to criminalize a lot of their audience. Because downloading is hard to track down, they will have to strip out our privacy to get to the downloaders. In other words, to be certain that you’re not breaking the law, RIAA, MPAA and similar organizations want to have easy access to the flow of your communications as well as your hard drives (those on your MP3 player, your phone and your computer). This surrender of privacy is one-sided: they want to cruise through your emails and your iPod, but you are not allowed to know who is doing, why and for what purposes. Once they collect this data, they can use it for whatever purpose. They should use it solely for the pursuit of criminal proceedings, but they are not bound by that limitation, once they grab that data it’s their intellectual property. They could use it to craft a better demographic understanding of their users (eg. “people are willing to go to jail for this song, we should make more like it”). At the very least, I don’t like the idea that my crude joke to one friend could get ‘out there’ and I have no freedom to speech-- the freedom to speak to this one person or that one person and control my own speech as I choose. If the RIAA and MPAA have their way, the freedom of speech I will be allowed to retain is the right to not speak.
The Pirate Party isn’t about eye patches, it’s about taking the blinders off. It’s about freedom of speech, the preservation of privacy and changing our laws to foster innovation. In Victoria, we’re doing a first meet-and-greet to see who’s in the community. You should join the Pirate Party (http://www.pirateparty.ca/sign-up). You should join us: Monday August 16th at 7PM - Cook St. Starbucks - Victoria BC.

Feel free to reproduce this post in whole, in part, or how you choose.

Go Green Not Blue

2010-08-05T23:31:00.001-07:00

With all of this hooplah over the Blue Bridge at the foot of Johnson Street, I have to ask why? As in "Why are we not decommissioning the Johnson St. Bridge?"
For a long time, Greater Victoria has been on a vendetta against the car. Esquimalt Road lost lanes. Bay Street lost lanes. UVic has been slowly turning parking lots into buildings. Our city needs to go Green and get rid of the Blue Bridge.
The Johnson Street Bridge facilitates a tremendous amount of automobile use. Repairing it will cost a lot of money. Replacing it will use up a huge amount of steel, concrete and it amounts to massive exercise in carbon escape.
The City of Victoria turned from its pattern of maintenance expenditures in 2007 to spend just a fraction on the bridge as it aged. The City has the right idea: let it rot. Make a reasoned guess as to the remainder of its lifespan. Then start doling money on the bridge that is key for infrastructure and transport: the Bay St. Bridge.
If you think the idea of decommissioning a bridge in Victoria is unheard of, think again. The original Point Ellis Bridge ran into what later became the BC Hydro yard. And, the bridge that abbreviated the trip from downtown to James Bay was replaced by infill-- so much infill that they were able to seat the Empress into what used to be James Bay-- an actual bay.
How can a left of center City Council-- one that has the spokesman for local cycling on council-- how can they not be in favour of continuing their trend of abolishing roads; and making cars as popular the KKK? You would think they would leap at the chance to both save the taxpayers money and promote an alternative to building more roadways.
To Dean Fortin who wants to get us into millions in debt and to Ross Crockford who wants to make sure we keep an artifact of iron in place, I say: Go Green Not Blue.

Meatheads Mar VEMF

2010-08-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

For the last several years, I've been going to VEMF-- the Victoria Electronic Music Festival. It was great when it was at Market Square: the space was a well with great acoustics. When it was moved up to Centennial Square it was okay. I liked the irony that the derelicts who nearly lived in Centennial Square were pushed out by a bunch of 20-somethings, loud music and a big beer garden.
This year was a lot more meathead-centric. I couldn't quantify it this year at first. It felt like a different mix. The beer garden was full of morons in trucker hats who probably didn't know the difference between Moby and Orbital. A friend of mine was nearly pushed into the fountain went two yayhoos were carousing with each other.
It turns out it wasn't our imagination (from the TC):

Victoria police arrested at least 10 people in response to 35 incidents in and around the event at Centennial Square. There were 10 fights, seven drug overdoses, three arrests for intoxication in a public place and several assaults and instances of mischief, domestic disputes and property damage, said Staff Sgt. Kerry Panton.

“There were seven overdoses and lots of alcohol — there was a beer garden there,” he said. “There was someone arrested in the area with ecstasy. Virtually all of the complaints were drug- and alcohol-related.”

Because of the morons-- the same morons who give the police excuses to strip search bus riders on Canada Day and the same morons who shut down First Night years ago-- (old) people are questioning if VEMF should be allowed to return. In its present form, I question if it should as well.

Some thoughts for how to de-meathead-ify VEMF:
- Go back to Market Square. Market Square has been under poor management for a number of years, but maybe they could be convinced to host the event again. I know their beleaguered retailers would love the foot traffic in the nearly-abandoned mall space. The space then isn't public space and it was a few fixed entrances. Bar the morons and their friends.
- Make it a ticketed event. You could not charge for tickets (just make having a wristband necessary); or you could put the event on the other side of the penny-gap. Make it an event that either need to show your iTicket (a $0.99 app you download from iPhone to show you have paid to attend) or you need a wristband for admission. That $0.99 expense is important because morons can't pay for anything but beer and McDonalds, so you would weed them out.
- Open some of the nightclubs at noon. This event runs from noon to 10PM outdoors. Why not put the event in range of some of the hosting night clubs. For example, put the event in the Capital Iron parking lot and keep the doors (and bars) open at Evolution from noon on. Heck, Victoria hates cars: barricade the foot of Discovery for the weekend to turn it into a permanent crosswalk.
- Call it. Consider downtown dead. By moving the event maybe it changes it up. See if Mayfair or Hillside Mall could give up corners of their parking lots. Many of the people at VEMF came out from Gordon Head, Oak Bay and other suburban areas, so why not put the event closer to the people? Those areas are well served by buses and it may change it up.

School Budgets Shrink While Writers Get More Coffee Money

2010-07-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

This just in from the grand people at Access Copyright. These people are so happy that they can get money from Canadian schools for photocopied pages.

Toronto - July 26, 2010 - Canadian creators and educational publishers have won a six-year legal battle to receive reasonable compensation for the reproduction of copyright-protected teaching materials used in the classroom, according to a decision by the Federal Court of Appeal.

In 2009, the Copyright Board of Canada certified a tariff to compensate creators and publishers for the photocopying of their works in K - 12 Schools. Ministers of Education of all the provinces and territories with the exception of Quebec, along with close to a hundred individual school boards, had asked the Federal Court to review the decision.

However the Federal Court found that the Copyright Board's decision was reasonable in light of the evidence before it. The Board had heard that over 250-million pages of textbooks and other materials are copied for use in K-12 schools every year.

"This is an important decision for rights holders not just in the education sector, but in every field of creative endeavour," said Maureen Cavan, Executive Director, Access Copyright.

"The decision is bitter-sweet when you consider that the federal government's proposed changes to the Copyright Act could impair future compensation for reproduction of materials used in education," said Roanie Levy, General Counsel, Access Copyright.

What's being photocopied today by the primary, secondary and post-secondary education sector is the equivalent of 3 million books a year. "That's 3 million books that have not been sold. As long as reproduction is compensated, creators and publishers and the thousands of knowledge workers supported by this industry can survive. Take away the compensation, and you will jeopardize a Canadian industry that provides Canadian children and their teachers with Canadian content," Cavan added.

Access Copyright, The Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency, is a not-for-profit organization founded by Canadian creators and publishers to meet the needs of users of copyright protected works, while ensuring fair compensation for that use. Access Copyright represents nearly 9,000 Canadian writers and publishers. Access Copyright works with organizations in all sectors to help them operate legally by providing access to licences that allow for the legitimate use of published copyright protected materials. To learn more about copyright or Access Copyright visit us online by clicking here.

How about that Weather....

2010-07-12T08:13:00.000-07:00

With all of the wind overnight and a prediction of a warm afternoon, I was curious what the weather was going to do this afternoon. FINALLY, I found a source of frequently update satellite images for my region.

Sewage Treatment - Barren Oceans

2010-07-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

Victoria's mayor, Dean Fortin, is continuing to spearhead a massively expensive sewage treatment system. The plan is to treat the sewage generated by the 250,000+ people from the region. All of the sewage that was formerly pumped out from several outlets will be routed to one facility in Esquimalt. Then, the bio-matter will be removed from the sewage before the water finds its way into the waters surrounding Greater Victoria.
One of the reasons cited is the harmful chemicals and wastes could collect in the food chain and make its way back to our dinner table. While there are harmful chemicals and agents being released into the waters, there is lots and lots of biological material. It's a digusting truth that what we flush ends up as a vital food source for plants and very small creatures who in turn are eaten by larger creatures and on-up through the food chain. The ocean isn't a grocery store. What we stop supplying will have a direct impact on the ecosystem off-shore. Breaking the food chain could cause a collapse with wide reaching side effects to fisheries and biodiversity in local waters.
There has been no comment on this impact from Victoria City Hall or the other levels of government who are funding this project. It has been previously established that this project is meant to address the optics of sewage being pumped into the ocean and the concern that this practice could negatively affect tourism. The bugbear of heavy metals build-up in the local sea life has been used as the excuse, but Victoria and the CRD is largely a non-industrial center. Its industrial activities are heavily regulated and do not push their wasted into the water supply.

My Heart Will Go On and On and On

2010-07-07T15:52:00.001-07:00

Bad News: I didn't win, place or show in the Monday Summer Fiction Contest.
Good News: I decided to publish my story anyways.

"Please-- you must stop!" she cried with a hoarseness and desperation etched into her soul. Those big cow eyes were puffy with tears and month without sleep. "Please, just let me go!"
I looked down at her. She was on her knees in the dry hot sand. Her dress was in tatters. I raised my arm and placed my other hand to my heart. She shuddered like a puppy before a rolled up newspaper. She curled into an egg shape, she tore at her scalp with jagged painted nails and shrieked like a wild animal. Her madness was nearly complete.
I drew a deep breath and began to sing:

"You're here, there's NO thing that I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
I'll stay for a long time
You are safe at my heart
And my heart will go on and on and on and...." As though I could focus my voice like a cannon I aimed down at her head into the sandy beach and let loose a volley. "ON!!!!!"

Celine Dion wailed. She tightened into a fetal position...

A month ago I was on a cruise ship traveling from Bahrain to Kuwait City and back again. I won the prize by answering right on an AM radio contest-- turns out I was almost the only person listening. Little did I know that cruise was shared by Celine Dion and her entourage. I was awoken on our first night out-- the ship was going down. By the time I got to the deck, there were no more life boats left. I jumped into the ocean and swam for a silhouette of trees and land with little more than my carry-on bag. It had a copy of Schismatrix, a Discman, a mix CD, pencil, paper and a glass Coke bottle.

Exhausted, I collapsed on the shore of the little island to await rescue. I awoke to the smell and black plumes of smoke. I got up to find a woman warming herself by a fire. I went to greet her. I was horrified: she was burning her wooden life raft for warmth. I burst out, "What are you doing!?! You don't use a life raft for firewood!" She started and looked at me with that blank slack-jawed look that was force fed to me by the agents of CanCon. It was Celine Dion.

"I need to get it going to cook something," she replied. "Get me some fish and cook it!" The Diva demanded.

"Get your hangers-on to do that." I spat back.

"They are not here."

"You came here by yourself in that raft?"

"Yes: I took one. Engelbert Humperdinck had one to himself, so I thought it was a good idea to do the same."

"You and the other celebrities took all the damned life rafts? That's amazing! No wonder there were none left. Didn't--" The irony of what I said next preceded the words: "Didn't you learn anything from Titanic?"

She shrugged, "I learned that you can love forever."

I made this howl of incredulity. Her godless song was inescapable in the years that followed the movie. It burned itself into my brain, embedded imperfectly in my photographic memory. Something about being stuck in front of this soulless diva made me snap. I took a step back like a ring master. With bravado, I started to bellow out my own mangled version of My Heart Will Go On. From childhood, people had been cautioning me to never sing. The combination of a bad voice and tone deafness made me quite a crooner. She stomped off from my singing. I gave chase, singing that horrid song again and again until she could have no more of it.

"Leave me alone!" She screamed at me.

"I had to hear your version a thousand times. It's about time you heard mine!" I went back into song. She continued to try to evade me but gave up, sat on log and tried to block her hearing. I persisted. When I thought she had blocked her hearing, I pantomimed the song. Eventually I stopped long enough to convince her that she could unblock her ears. Then I started off again. She went to forage for food and I sang. She ran into a patch of foliage. I stayed in the clearing and sang all the louder. I figured that we would be rescued in a few hours, so I tried to get all of my revenge singing done before that. That night, I fell asleep near her by the smoldering remains of the raft. The next morning, there was no sign of rescue yet. She was already awake. She eyed me as though I were a mountain lion about to strike.

"Are you quite done with that asinine singing of yours?" She asked with nothing but contempt for befouling of her famed song.

I coughed and cleared my throat, hoarse from the day before. "And my heart will go on....!" She stormed off, down the beach. I followed her giving song.

In the days that followed, I started to doubt we would ever get rescued. Days stretched into weeks. I feared they were overlooking our island and my rescue because they knew Celine Dion was here and a rescue ship would be obliged to return her to her adoring fans. Each day, I found new ways to mangle her song. Every so often, I called her Deline Cion. I would break things up and sing to the CD player, thereby ruining the work of others for her benefit. She soon took on this haunted, ratty look like someone who had walked through a 1000 miles of wilderness. By the third week, I could tell she was getting used to it. I made myself scarce. I slept on another part of the island. I let our contact lapse almost two days. Then, I snuck back to her camp site by the charcoal of the boat. She lay sleeping. I crept close, knelt low and let out, "And my heart will go on....!" at the top of my lungs. She screamed and ran on all fours towards the beach. Only the cold surf shocked her back to a lucid state.

She had long since given up trying to plead with me. After a few days of "please, stop this" and words to that effect, it didn't look like she could muster an emotional or intellectual reason for me to end the torture. Now she took it, sobbing and pounding on the sand when it all became too much for her. Good, Celine, good, I thought. After eleven years of suffering that song, I knew how she felt.

There came a day where all this became boring. By my accounts, I had sung her song about 2000 times and the books seemed balanced.

I said, "I'll do this: I will throw a message in a bottle into the ocean, describing what I've done and where they can find us. If-- IF-- you promise to never sing that song again in your life."

"I agree. I never want to hear that song again, either."

Big Brother Has Gone Viral

2010-06-28T00:47:00.000-07:00

When I was at Drupalcon in April, the keynote was echoed by a crowd of twitterers and live bloggers. They were all grabbing the elephant just as it was being simucast to the web. People wanted bragging rights in their 3000 circles that they emparted some cool info and did so first. World shaping events are watched by all and used to the commentated by three networks in America plus the newspapers. Then came CNN. The quantity of voices in professional media grew. But they were slow. A story had to be assigned by an editor; or a story had to be approved before it saw the light of day.
Internet publishing started in the 1980s. The Informati fringe could log in, post to newsgroups. There were a lot of steps, a small audience and the whole experience was not for the faint of heart. The Web made it easier, but you needed to know HTML and how to FTP your opinions and do it from the safety of your dial-up and your desktop. The advent of blogging then Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) made it very easy. Mobile blogging, SMS and posting cellphone media has made this whole experience very easy.
During the G20, the Man has been beating on the people who pay The Man's way. Yes, there are gimmes in the crowd, they're rabble and they're the distraction. Police have been beating down and routing benign protesters. I say benign but not peaceful. Peace is akin to contentment and these people are not content. They want to shake things up. They want to aggravate the Police and the Powers That Be. You want a reaction and a route to change.
But as the Police beat down and bully the public, there is a Orwellian spin happening. Big Brother in 1984 used to watch Winston Smith and his fellow workers from an omniscient wall-- a television and video camera all in one. One eye that saw all of the people. With the advent of cellphone footage and tweets, we're all watching each other. During the G20 protests, the Police have practiced a policy of beating journalists and protesters, routing the people-- some of whom aren't even protesters, but just citizens trying to get from A-to-B in a bisected city. This criminal conduct by a bunch of thugs in black has not happened in secret or seen by a select few. Thanks to cellphones and easy uploading, hundreds of people are recording these transgressions and broadcasting them. Almost everyone has a cellphone. Almost every cellphone has a camera. It's not yet illegal to film police brutality (it is now illegal in the UK), but there are so many people recording these attacks that the police cannot find every recorder, confiscate their phones and destroy the evidence (as Vancouver police did last year on several occasions). We're all feeding Big Brother and his all seeing eye. Big Brother isn't the government per se, but the eyes of the public.
Unfortunately, Big Brother could convert disapproval into brute force. We can only convert disapproval into disapproval at the polls when/if the Conservatives allow Canadians to go to the polls.
If you have a Conservative MP, let them know that you're dissatisfied. Tell them that their own version of their Rahim Jaffer antics are no longer appreciated. If you don't have a Conservative MP in your riding (and most of us don't), tell your MP that now is the time to vote against the next Conservative move in the House of Commons. Ignatieff has been tacitly supporting Harper and Layton has been siding with Ignatieff. I didn't vote for Jack Layton. I didn't vote for Michael Igatieff. I voted for my MP. My Member of Parliament, Denise Savoie, has to hear the voice of the people she is representing or she is supporting this whole house of cards. If your Member of Parliament isn't voting against the status quo where people can be arrested for getting too close to a fence, then they're part of the problem and they need to go.

Trojan Juniors

2010-06-27T08:13:00.000-07:00

I have no idea if these are smaller or easier to put on or just bubble gum flavored.

In an era where kids have denim patterned diapers, why not market everything for the prepubescent adults of our world.

Ther Great American Novel

2010-06-26T23:58:00.000-07:00

I have finally published my own Great American Novel.

psst-- do you want a sample of the novel? Check it out here.

Cumberland Quake News

2010-06-23T11:09:00.000-07:00

Toronto to Nova Scotia and South to Cleveland were just hit with a 5.5 quake that was centered 49 km (31 miles) north of Cumberland, Ontario, Canada. The quake seemed to last for about 30 seconds in Ottawa and rattled downtown buildings, homes in west-end Ottawa and government offices across the Ottawa River in Gatineau, Que.
Reports at that cell service is overloaded as people tweet about this and call for information. Word that the G20 lake has sprung a leak and is draining cannot be confirmed at this time. Police and CSIS are working to locate and detain the Earth's Core for questioning.

Late Night Experiments

2010-06-19T22:04:00.000-07:00

If you're driving in the Victoria or Saanich areas from 9PM to 3AM, there is a good chance you're going to become a test subject. UBC, in cooperation with local police, are diverting motorists then administering breathalyzers, written questionnaires and blood samples. While participation is theoretically voluntary, there is no word as to the reaction one would expect should they opt to not participate in this UBC study administered by police officers. As police officers can issue road-side suspensions for refusing a breathalyzer, motorists may be off the road if they elect to not contribute to the UBC body of data for such a study. There is no word as to how this programme is being funded-- whether local police resources are being diverted to gather this data; or if UBC or ICBC is underwriting this use of our region's police forces.
UBC, ICBC and the Saanich Police have not commented on this programme or their practices.

Now What?

2010-06-02T09:36:00.001-07:00

Last week I quit my job. Now what?
The last job for a while have been really wearing me down. I was really tired of the the dynamics in play. Sometimes I put on the Shakespeare hat (hey, he was balding: he totally would have had a hat on). With the hat on I once spouted to myself, "where superstition is fact and ignorance is currency," of the last place. If I couldn't explain to a non-technical person a wholly technical concept, then the concept had no merit. Try pulling that the next time you get in a car: "I don't know how the spark plugs make internal combustion work, so I don't endorse the car."
I couldn't see any way to correct the dynamics or get my head around the way to survive the dynamics. There came a day that I pulled the plug. I quit.
That left me with the question of "Now what?" What had been going on for a long time was the fear of being financially destitute for quitting my job and ending up emotionally destitute for keeping it. At the end of the day, I figured that I could make money eventually, but there was no magical solution to have some emotional currency. It's not as air-fairy as it sounds. Here's the logic train:

We all die eventually.
We come into this world and leave it with nothing tangible.
Regardless of your belief system, once you are gone you either cannot affect the world of the living nor would you care to.
Life is supposed to be about happiness. Were life about work and misery, you wouldn't need to feel good. Just like I can't see into the ultra-violet because it's not neccessary, if happiness were unnecessary you wouldn't be able to sense its presence or absence.
You can derive happiness from any situation-- some of the poorest people in the world are happy.
You don't need to endure unhappiness and if poor people can be happy, you don't need to keep a job because of the money.

I decoupled money and happiness. If the last job brought me no happiness, then there was no reason to keep it. A friend once told me a story about his friends: they sold everything-- house, possessions and all-- and moved to England to travel. The friend said, "If you think you can't drop everything and do that, you're wrong. You can always do it and pick things up again later."

Since the quitting, I have been inundated with work and requests for me to help out. It's as though I am back on the market and people are buying. Being on the market isn't enough to make success. It's like being good looking but you show up for a date with a chicken wing stuck in your hair. You have to follow through, you have to do the work that you ask for. If the work is interesting and worth doing, I will take it on. I will separate challenging from frustrating (they often look almost alike, Myth Adventures' Imps vs. Deveels-- a challenge is to horse trade a coat hanger into a diamond; frustration is to trade a hanger into different hanger). All challenges can have frustrations, but no challenge is made solely of frustration. If you find yourself with a frustration and isn't nestled in a larger challenge, my advice is: a) quit; b) ask, Now What?

Has anyone out there hit this dynamic? What you found happened?

Why Buy an iPad? Just get one for FREE!

2010-05-28T21:49:00.000-07:00

Admittedly, the iPads are cool, even if they are made by an evil corporation. Why not try to win one?

Do you know of any good contests? Comment! I want to add them!

Gary Coleman is dead

2010-05-28T11:54:00.000-07:00

It looks like Conrad Bain has finished his vendetta against the kids from the beloved NBC series of the 1980s. After years and years of planning, he has finally knocked off the third kid from Diffr'ent Strokes. In a drunken tyrade in 1984, Bain declared that he would "Send all of those bastard kids STRAIGHT TO HELL!"
This from TMZ:

"Gary Coleman has died as the result of injuries he suffered earlier this week, the hospital tells TMZ.

We've learned Gary's wife, Shannon, made the decision to pull life support early this AM. Sources could not confirm if it was actually Conrad Bain who literally "plugged the plug."...

Charlotte Rae has not been questioned by police at this time, though some people say her involvement has not been ruled out.

Please don't kill me just because I'm a pedestrian

2010-05-18T14:50:00.000-07:00

Are you tired of dodging cars and bicycles? No More!
Here's my call to the police via their contact form (http://www.vicpd.ca/index.php?page=contact-vicpd) and I would invite you all to draft similar for the intersections and crosswalks of your concern:

Hello,
We have been seeing a lot motorists completely ignore the laws regarding the pedestrian crosswalks on [problem street]. Of note is the crossing [your favourite hard to use crosswalk], especially in the [time of day]. Would it be possible for there to be a spot check of motorists by our police force; and the potential to cite motorists who do not adhere to the relevant laws? I think it would go a long way to deter motorists' practices.

Thank you,

[your name]

Get "The Man" to harsh their buzz (and collect fines).

I'm Coming Out

2010-05-17T23:07:00.000-07:00

Of Hiding. I'm coming out of hiding.
Up until seven years ago, I did a lot of networking-- into the business community and into the technical community. Then I went to work for one place that was so secretive that I had two sign TWO non-disclosure agreements. Worse than that, I had to beg to attend anything during work-- even meetings and get-togethers that would have directly benefited the company. The next place I worked in was in a state of perpetual panic. I tried to walk my daughter to school before work (a good remedy to my expanding waistline): no dice-- frequent panics and crashes (usually spawned by the people who were panicking). We eventually got a sliver of room to attend Drupal meet-ups. The good news was out reach to the Drupal people in town, compare notes and learn. In information technology, if you're not gaining information and updating your skills, you're dead in the water. Unfortunately, it was held at a diploma mill that sits on the dark part of an ethical divide.
I applied for a couple local jobs and it's an odd dynamic. I've been working in the field for longer than a lot of local companies have existed. Yet, I'm almost unknown. It's little wonder I'm unknown-- I've bailed on countless meet-ups and places where I could hang with my peers.
Last month, I was able to go to Drupalcon in San Francisco (a terrific experience but the timing career-wise came at an awkward time). People said that they've been with Drupal quite some time-- like since 2008. I've been actively developing with Drupal for the last three years; when I was tapped to co-author a book for Manning Press, my editor suggested that I try out Drupal then (in early 2003)-- nope, I continued with my topic: PHPNuke... P H P Nuke... (Seth and Amy said, "really?").
This past weekend, I went to the Victoria WordCamp. It was a wild and cool experience. The speakers were good-- some were very good.
Why wasn't I up there doing the talk? I know stuff. Like lots of stuff. But the reasoning for being the old guy in the audience instead of the dynamo on stage is good:
Noteworthy people and leaders in the field were talking. I've been in the spider-hole that Saddam Hussein vacated way back when. I'm not a noteworthy person. I'm a shut-in with some blogs.
Public speaking takes energy. Up until the last couple months, I've been running on an empty tank of gas. Most days, I would finish work, eat dinner and go to sleep. How could I attend a meeting at 7PM-- that's sleep time. Where could I get time to do prep work for a talk? When could I blog with my expert hat on?
Innovators innovate. In my last job, I was supposed to churn out website after website about wiring and electrical supplies. In my current job, I've been told that I innovate but I really don't feel that I do. If I innovate, I have to hide it. Many advents of mine get one of two reviews: a) It doesn't "work"-- which I discovered was not a technical problem that I needed to remedy; but that they didn't like what it did and thereby did not "work." Or, b) It worked and I was directed to change almost every detail so that it failed to work.

So, I have quit my job to go work for a start-up. I'm attending more local meet-up of people who are in the fields I want to till for cash. I've been in this industry for a LONG time-- since late 1996-- and it's time I participated instead of sitting in my spider hole and whining.

What do you think? What would you do to kick-start your career and your sense of worth?

Egg Rolls

2010-05-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

I'm making egg rolls!

Egg Rolls from Mike DeWolfe on Vimeo.

The recipe details are available on my site

Elections: When Morons Make Big Decisions

2010-05-06T07:37:00.001-07:00

I have worked as a polling officer. My favourite moment:
A family trucked in their elderly relative to vote for a candidate. She spoke no English, she seemed largely unaware of her surroundings. But, she had valid ID and was in the registry. They muttered to her. Non-handicapped people cannot be accompanied by others to the actual poll booth, so she went by herself.
I waited. The poll booth shield jumped forward a tiny amount. Meh. She returned, muttered to her family, then folded up the ballot and popped it into the box. Done? No.
She muttered some more to her family. They went to the poll booth and came back and to alert me to something. She marked her X-- she had marked it on the example printed on the wall of the poll booth. Then, she submitted the blank ballot.
With ballot already cast, there wasn't anything I could do. Darwin had voted.

My Muse Is a Lazy Magical Bitch

2010-05-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

muse: (as used by Tim Ferriss in his book) is nothing more than a business that can generate income without consuming time. It’s at least a partially-automated business. I think of it as more like a side business to whatever else it is you do during the day (be it work or relaxation). In other words, working in a manufacturing plant is probably not a muse. However, starting a website that sells t-shirts for dogs could be considered a muse. For my purposes, most muse ideas will be internet-based, because this is where you can run with an idea at the lowest cost and probably have the highest chance for success (without risking your life savings).

I've starting working through what may be the ultimate solution or ultimate mirage: the 4-hour work week. The book is a combination of time management, demeanor tuning and business management.
Time Management: It talks about ignoring "emergencies"-- On the Internet, where nothing is real, no emergency is real. The author talks about checking email less frequently (twice a day). He talks about batching jobs (like bill paying once every two weeks). And, deferring time-wasting meetings. I do some of this stuff already. Since putting it into practice, it has saved me some time and some sanity.
Demeanor Tuning: These tips verge on the airy-fairy. Keeping eye contact. Asking strangers for their phone numbers. I know the goal of the process: to be daring. Most of our world is shaped by social constructs. Money isn't a physical law. Getting a girlfriend is only partially governed by chemistry. Wealth, access and good social interactions are social results-- output from the social machinery. If you learn to ask and ask in a way that yields your intended results, then you're making the social construct work for you-- like Neo bending the rules of the Matrix. If you never ask, the answer is no.
Business Management: This is the weak link in my chain. My muse won't flap her wings, play her harp or whatever she's supposed to do. No muse: no money: fabulous (pronounced fa-HABU-lous!!!). Our projects hide in stealth mode. Why? WHY!?! FrugalVictoria.com is getting some attention, but saving money and doing stuff for free should have widespread (like thousands of visitors a day) worth of appeal. Some Experience Required should be the tonic for people eager to build job skills and climb into better paying gigs after proving themselves. But it languishes. This is where the value of this book may come for me. A lot of the "self-help" (aka "get rich quick") books, blogs, etc. miss the intricacies of how to manage your business-- how to offload work, manage customer service and become scalable. Scalable is tricky. I've been fighting with it in Drupal. If I take up doing web pages for clients, I will hit a personal version of scalable: I will only have so many hours in a day to earn money-- I will hit this limitation of earning 1.0 wages. The 4-hour Work Week does cover how to make offshoring (aka geographical arbitrage) work for you.
The next goal: get my muse to kick into gear.

Half A Post Down-- More Later

2010-05-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

I've been mulling big ideas for the last few weeks. We did do a road trip to San Francisco. That was 20 hour-plus drive. Plenty of room for talking, social juxtaposition and audio books.
Free - The Chris Anderson book about the concept of giving and getting at zero cost up-front. It was a powerful and interesting book. He draws on examples of the phenomenon of Free in our day-to-day world. He even peers into the future via SF to talk about how sci-fi deals with a post-scarcity and that SF makes scarcity into a source of conflict to drive stories. Really: the post-scarcity will change our way of thinking. There will be an all-you-can-eat buffet at the End of the Universe, but you will have to learn how to pull back from the table. The challenge of free will not be abolishing scarcity, but abolishing gluttony.
Super Freakonomics - Friends hacked Freakonomics. I think their math holds water and makes for some fascinating concepts. The SuperFreakonomics book covered how the Mt. Pinatubo volcano spewed sulfur dioxide into the atmosphere and dropped temperatures worldwide in the early 1990s. As we were listening, Iceland's volcano was spewing ash into the atmosphere. Snow in California changed our route home. Windstorms are ripping through our area. I have to wonder if we're in the opening volleys of the same thing as Mt. Pinatubo, but it doesn't exist as a problem because the hairdoes at CNN haven't figured this out.
4-hr. Work Week and Monetizing Drupal - I didn't know what I was going to discover at this talk, but it was interesting. People had started these websites to turn Drupal into a business. One of the people was motivated by the concepts of the The 4-Hour Workweek. For years I have been searching for a way to get rich via the Internet. If I was trying to get rich quick, I totally failed. It's been years and I'm not rich. Maybe it's a matter that you get rich quick, or not at all.
Being Fed-up - I listened to the different talks about Drupal at Drupalcon. I also listened to some of the employers put out calls for new employees. I suck at customer follow-up, so I doubt if I should be one-person shop. At work, I don't endure what I would call "antics": a situation where I get initial details at-- or after-- the deadline. The development period is usually started at the deadline, leaving at panicked and buggy end-result. I went to one swell talk from Palantir called The Magic of Teams. They were into a bit where they said that the client was part of the development team: with expectations and things they had to bring to the table. I thought "THAT'LL NEVER WORK" (well, with the place I work with): there are walls of insulation between me and the clients; as well as me and the people who I work with. Accountability doesn't appear to exist. Lots of places pull this. If I get fed-up from my current place, the next place may have the same practices. So, what I am holding out for? Is this like jumping phone carriers? Bell sucks, so I'm going to try Virgin (note: Virgin uses Bell's infrastructure)?
Externalities - I've been looking for a unified field theory for success. I read through Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers: The Story of Success (great book). He broke up the elements of success and found that there isn't a lot of mystery but more a matter of hard work and statistical clustering. I see marvelous mess-ups who succeed. They are the toast of the town. How do such morons succeed? Externalities. They offload their problems to other people and make them their problems. So someone else has to generate a solution that they share in. It's like these fabulous f-ups are problem farmers: planting chaos and reaping rewards. There was a swell (read: horrific) post from someone who was tapped to do freebie work for someone-- someone who was being paid part of $60,000 to collect the material. Success is all about externalities. Every worker generates about 1.0 people-loads of work and income-- enough to pay for their lifestyle more or less. How does Bill Gates turn his career into an engine that generated billions of dollars while lots of people his age generated maybe a house, maybe just a collection of baseball cards? He leaned on the hard work of others to generate his own wealth.

Trapped Between Worlds

2010-04-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

I'm at the Drupalcon in San Francisco. It's a crush of 3000 people who use Drupal-- programmers, project managers, web monkeys, and academics. It's an amazing crowd to behold. There is a homogeny to them-- they all look like they could fit in Silicon Valley-- some have the dumpy student look, some have the hipster thing going on and a few are clad in sports jackets-- I think I counted one tie in 3000 and that was one the guy dressed in a Drupal zoot suit.
I don't know where I fit in. When we get into server administration, I go dumb-- I really can't brain that at all. When we get into programming and theming, I go to sleep because it's all well known territory. There's no way to identify newbie from pro and with 3000 people, I can't possibly hope to figure out who's who. At every session I make a point of quizzing the people near me on what they do. Much of it is very interesting: university folk; a coder from the Audobon Society; entrepreneurs; people who are doing lots and lots of cool stuff. Well, they are. I am stuck with too little time to do anything that deeply interests me. At work, 3000 hr projects are budgeted 200 hours and allowed 100. On my own time, I do some snazzy stuff, but it's semi-pedestrian coding-- so basic that I don't even bother sharing it with the Drupal community. With my own stuff, a lengthening list of produced but unrealized websites are cranked out and they hide in plain sight.

www.clearyourplate.com/
www.propertypast.com/
www.mooptag.com/
www.someexperiencerequired.com/
mike.dewolfe.bc.ca/
www.xmasfailures.com
www.churchofeee.com/
(and on... and on...)

I'm always trying to make a buck. It's as though I don't want to code anymore for a living. Maybe I don't. That said, lock me in a room with a computer and I'll program on it. It's involuntary. It's an urge.
The Moscone Center is a massive structure, multiple blocks in size, with connections between buildings beneath the city street. As luck would have it, I heard that in the same building, there is another conference called "AdTech"-- a meet-up of people who are making money by selling online. Or, at the very least, they make money selling to each other. I visited the Drupalcon expo floor and picked up lots of cool swag-- most of it bound for kiddo. I thought, "I bet those Adtech people have some wicked swag!"-- $50 off of AdWords is just the tip of the ice berg. These guys may be parting with some of these SEO and revenue secrets-- like action at a swingers party: you have to be there to get it.
I saw lots of Adtech people wandering around, invading our turf. The dividing line is pretty obvious. We have like a 70-30 men-woman split. They have a roughly 50-50 split of men and women. Our people look like they spend alot of time indoors. Their people look like they've all come back from a lunch on the patio: tanned and full. We look like garage salers. They look like realtors. For someone who's trying to make a buck, it looked like the promised land.
Lured by their swag and a free 20 minute window, I clad myself in my own sports jacket-- a little Frodo-esque, but it could be the jacket of a hipster (I like to tell myself that I could look like a hipster instead of looking like Chris Farley). I thought: I can bridge the gap and leap to the world that lay just one brane away. I ducked into the mens room on our side of the event horizon to relieve myself and pocket my Drupalcon lanyard. After all, a lot of the Adtech crowd were wandering around without them on (I could tell they were the Adtech/realtor types). I could be one of them.
I jumped the brane. Giggly blondes and good haircuts abounded. Their coffee smelled better. Their bookstand was big and shiny. And there was a shoe shine stand. A shoe shine stand? The last time I saw one of those was in 1985. But the topper was their expo floor: a bright carnival like space thrumming with hucksters and huckees(?).
I walked up and a security person stopped me: "Can I see you badge?"
Shit! "Uh, sure." I knew I was jiggered, but I thought I'd play out the rest of my fallacy. I pulled out my Drupalcon badge. She said I was in the wrong place. I said I got turned around. I apologized and turned around cloaked in the dishonesty of my honest mistake.
No Adtech swag for me.

Cooking + Writing = Cookbook

2010-04-07T23:30:00.001-07:00

I have cooked since enchiladas when I was 10. About 25 years ago, I found that people really enjoyed my breakfast and brunches. People are amazed that I don't snap and run for it in the face of 20 hungry guests. I like the challenge and I've made it an easy affair. Lulu.com allows people to self publish anything from angsty memoirs to cookbooks. I put together some of my favourite recipes and sage advice (sage optional) and published a book entitled "How to Impress The World Before 11AM." I do hope you check out my book and give me feedback.

Weekend At Bernie's : European Vacation

2010-04-06T07:20:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine knows the writer for the first Weekend at Bernie's. While that movie is a non-event for me, it's the life's passion for the writer-- it's his dead white whale. He needs to start writing again, because the European edition is out:

Two women have been arrested at an airport in Liverpool for attempting to smuggle a dead 91-year-old man onto a plane. They tried to get the corpse onto a flight bound for Germany, by dressing him in sunglasses and sending him through check-in on a wheelchair.

Staff became suspicious and prevented the trio from boarding the plane. (Cracker jack security staff who eventually picked up that the person was dead).

According to Reuters, the women were arrested on suspicion of failing to give notification of a death and were released on bail.

The man traveled about 35 miles to the airport by taxi from Oldham, Greater Manchester, police added. No word as to whether the dead was driving.

Read more...

Buried Movies

2010-04-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am always surprised how so many movies and expensive productions can be buried. It's a like hiding an office building that is 80% done. There are countless numbers of movies that have never made it to the light of day.

Citizen Kane - The granddaddy of all of the buried movies was Citizen Kane. By holding billionaire William Randolph Hearst in ridicule, Orson Welles drew fire on his first movie. Hearst papers ignored Citizen Kane and buried it. While it did win some praise at the Academy Awards, it disappeared until the 1950s when film aficionados uncovered the film and it was soon considered the best film ever made.
The Day the Clown Cried - The Holocaust is a touchy subject. For the sake of winning an Oscar, Jerry Lewis decided to make it the subject of his 1972 comedy about a clown at Auschwitz. It made it all the way to the point of screeners before being circulated. The movie was summarily buried. It was said that the prints and negatives were destroyed but rumors abound that copies stayed in circulation into the 1990s. Someone in Sweden held onto their copy, eventually transferred it to video and then to the Interwebs (http://isohunt.com/torrent_details/38423236/The+Day+the+Clown+Cried?tab=comments). There are very few seeds, so getting this via Bittorrent will only be slightly easier than building a time machine.
Hamster of Happiness / Secondhand Hearts - Robert Blake (murderer / Lil Rascal / actor) kept going onto the Johnny Carson show and talk about the Hamster of Happiness. Three years after production wrapped, this regrettable film saw the light as "Secondhand Hearts."
Fantastic Four - Roger Corman was a prolific producer. Someone he snagged the rights to Marvel's first superhero team, the Fantastic Four for his 1994 movie. My guess this happened in the era when superhero movies were low budget schlock fests and the rights would be easy to obtain. I got to watch this back in the 1990s. Supposedly, the film was poorly received so the studio bought the distribution rights, buried it and pledged to make a better version. The real sin of it: this movie is better than the two cinematic disasters that came out in the last couple years. Via Bittorrent, this movie lives on: http://isohunt.com/torrent_details/93028921/Roger+Corman+Fantastic+Four?tab=summary
I Love Lucy (the movie) - While it seems like the trend is to turn every lame TV series into a movie. This happened in the 1950s too. For fear it would distract from the other Lucy Ball / Desi Arnez comedy, The Long Trailer, the studio buried it. The movie will see the light of day on April 27th 2010, as a DVD release. Ricky!!!
The Other Side of the Wind - Orson Welles should be Lord Daemon of Production Hell. After Citizen Kane, he went on to be involved in other troubled works like the Magnificent Ambersons, Touch of Evil and other works. The Other Side of the Wind is his opus from the 1970s. Unfortunately, he made a bad choice in the financing, by getting backing from the brother-in-law to the Shah of Iran on the eve before the Iranian Revolution. Years after his death, Peter Bogdanovich took up the cause of the film. In January 2010, Bogdanovich said he doubted if the work could ever be edited into a usable state.

Great Oscar Opening Montages

2010-03-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

1997

Oscar Intro 1997 Billy Crystal
Uploaded by LTT. - Watch more comedy videos and sitcoms.
This is the John Stewart skit from 2008: http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/42868/detail/

An Orgy of Vomit is Coming.

2010-03-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

I reproduced this list from IO9. Look at the onslaught of crappy movies coming. Why are they remaking so much? Have we learned nothing from The Day The Earth Stood Still? I like the suggestions of the alternatives (below).

Here is a list of media I would love to see made:
Re-do Star Wars: This was an amazing movie. Star Wars was unworkable dreck that was repaired in the editing room. Empire Strikes Back was great because Lucas screwed up his financing and had to listen to studio execs to get the completion funds. By the time he got to Return of the Jedi, he had full control and things rattled downhill from that point on. When Lucas' head sit in the cyro tank next the Disney's, someone could come along and stitch something good out of this patchwork of nifty ideas. Of all the movie franchises that need a reboot, this one screams for it.
The Foundation Series: Make it a mini-series. Don't change any of Asimov's plastic fantastic atomic science.
Canticle for Leibowitz: A TV mini-series told in four parts-- the first part happens during the Cuban Missile crisis-- then the nukes start flying. The latter three parts come from the book.
Rudy Rucker: any of his books would rule in movie form.
Enders Game: pull this out of the full dive and make it into a movie.
Ringworld: making a CGI Puppeteer would be an easy trick-- heck, kids make them in Spore. This book is terrific space opera with a big dash of sci-fi. SyFy promised to make this in 2004. Will this book hit 50 years old before it's adapted?
Scavenger of the Battle: this book was like the Iran-Contra affair set in interstellar space. It would make a great action movie.
War of the Worlds (the sequel): Filmed in Technicolor, Kennedy is the president and he's sending a can of whoop-ass back to Mars.

There's only one thing Hollywood loves than a movie based on a toy: remakes. Dozens of science-fiction classics are slated for do-overs. But instead of remaking films that were fine the first time, here are 20 books Hollywood should film.

Seriously, after watching The Day The Earth Stood Still, we're even more convinced than ever that "updating" or otherwise attempting to refresh the classics of the genre just leads to horrible soggy messes. It's hard to believe there's something worse than endless sequels, but remakes of perfectly great films might just be it. Especially when there are so many great books left unfilmed, many of which are made for a film adaptation.

Instead of remaking Videodrome...
Universal snapped up the remake rights to this Cronenberg film last year, and Ehren Kruger (co-writer of Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen and sole writer of Transformers 3) will write and co-produce. The new version will "modernize the concept, infuse it with the possibilities of nano-technology and blow it up into a large-scale sci-fi action thriller," says Variety.
...Film Jennifer Government by Max Barry instead.
Seriously, if you want to see a huge paranoid thriller set in a dystopian future world, you're actually crying out for a Jennifer Government movie. In a dark future, everybody's last name is the company they work for — and now companies have started engineering murder as a means of marketing their products. Horror and strangeness blend together with snarky humor — even the Michael Bay version would be interesting.

Instead of remaking Robocop…
If I want to watch the Darren Aronofsky version of Robocop, I'll just put in the DVD of the Verhoeven version and turn the brightness way down, while occasionally sticking my head into a bucket of Christmas lights. Actually, I love Aronofsky's work, for the most part, but Robocop is a film that requires no "reimagining." It's already fully imagined. Leave Robocop alone!
...Film Mark L. Van Name's Jon And Lobo novels.
We've praised these books before, but the story of the only cyborg in a society that believes cyborgs don't exist is tailor-made for a film. Jon can talk to machines thanks to nanotech implants, and he forms a close partnership with a sentient tank, which helps him go kick ass across several star systems.

Instead of remaking Escape From New York...
Apparently the script for this remake by Allan Loeb is really quite clever, and this time around Snake Plissken's rescuing a female senator (instead of the president) from the walled-off Manhattan. The banter is said to be razor-sharp, and New Line Cinema is putting this on the fast track.
...Film Glasshouse by Charles Stross instead.
Why has none of Stross' brilliant novels been filmed yet? In any case, Glasshouse is one of his best, and it's a brilliant portrayal of a town that's also a dystopian prison, where the people are tagged. Another good alternative is Catherine Fischer's Incarceron, but that's already becoming a movie.

Instead of remaking Forbidden Planet...
Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Straczynski just wrote his second draft of the screenplay for this remake — after the first draft leaked on the internet — and he hints that it'll be full of surprises, including stuff that wasn't in the first version. But given that the original was already a remake of Shakespeare's The Tempest, we're not convinced that trying for the "surprise" factor is such a great idea. We love JMS, but this is a perfect example of a film that still holds up.
...Film Lensman instead.
Luckily, JMS' other big-screen adapation project sounds a lot more promising. The classic original space opera, E.E. "Doc" Smith's Lensman series has been begging for a movie adaptation for decades now — as long as JMS can strip the icky eugenics stuff and sexism out of the books, we could be looking at the next Avatar. (Or the next Green Lantern, really.)

Instead of The Thing prequel...
Seriously, a prequel to The Thing? Featuring backstory about the original doomed Norwegian expedition that we don't need to know, and characters we don't need to see die? (Including, rumor has it, the brother of Kurt Russell's character from the original film.) This just seems wrong. Even though it's not technically a remake and thus might not fit in this film, we must lodge our formal protest. Ronald D. Moore was writing the script, but I believe he's been replaced.
...Film Finch by Jeff VanderMeer instead.
In VanderMeer's awesome book (spoiler alert) the alien spore people can take over humans and control huge parts of our civilization. It's got much of the same body horror as The Thing, plus the idea of alien life that can take over humans and transform us into parts of them. It packs the same sort of "aliens replacing us" punch, and would make a crackerjack movie.

Instead of redoing When Worlds Collide...
Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, G.I. Joe) is on board to direct this remake, with Steven Spielberg collaborating on the script. He told Cinefantastique magazine (in the July 2009 issue) that he's still on board, but the project's been delayed slightly to avoid competing with Emmerich's 2012. Instead of a cerebral tale about another world on a collision course with Earth, as scientists ready an ark to take some humans to another habitable planet, expect the Empire State Building and the Eiffel Tower to melt.
...Film Spin By Robert Charles Wilson instead.
It's got the same "global disaster strikes the Earth" thing, but Wilson's tale of a membrane encompassing the Earth that slows down time on Earth relative to the rest of the solar system is more original, and a darn sight more interesting. Unknown beings called "the Hypotheticals" have slowed down time on the Earth to such an extent, we'll be destroyed by the expanding sun within one generation. The clever premise lets humans found a colony on Mars and develop high technology while relatively little time seems to pass on Earth — and the final reveal about why the aliens have done this is the kind of thing the Day The Earth Stood Still remake was going for, and failed to deliver. In the hands of a Duncan Jones or Steven Soderbergh, this could be an instant classic.

Instead of remaking The Bride Of Frankenstein...
As of last summer, Universal was in talks with The Illusionist's Neil Burger to write and direct a remake of this James Whale classic, and it's rumored to be set in present-day New York. (Of course, The Wolfman's lackluster performance may have soured Universal on monster remakes for a while.)
...film John Kessel's Pride And Prometheus instead.
You want a smart, witty look at the Frankenstein story? Look no further than Kessel's story, which is also the best of the recent Jane Austen mash-ups. The Bennet sisters meet Victor Frankenstein, and after the younger sister Kitty dies, her body disapears, and well... you can guess the rest. A film of "Pride And Prometheus" could capitalize on two hot trends — but more importantly, it could bring the Frankenstein mythos back to life.

Instead of remaking Creature From The Black Lagoon...
Another Universal monster movie, this property has gone through a bunch of possible directors, including John Carpenter, Peter Jackson, John Landis, and most recently The Crazies director Breck Eisner. Now Carl Rinsch is reportedly on board, for a more violent Alien-inspired take.
...Film The Scar by China Mieville instead.
This novel, set in the same world as Perdido Street Station, has a monstrous major character, the "remade" criminal Tanner — but more importantly, it features the Avanc, a sea monster that the Lovers raise and attempt to capture in their desire to reach the Scar, where reality is in flux and anything is possible. Plus there's pirates! War! And a city made up of floating ships. This is the watery monster story you want.

Instead of remaking The Brood...
After Eisner dropped out of Creature, he was in talks to do this Cronenberg remake instead. But he's said a few times recently that he's only had preliminary talks, and he might love the Cronenberg original too much to try and redo it.
...Film Geek Love by Katherine Dunn instead.
If you want people acting out their psychoses through their mutant babies, this is the book you want. It has the potential to be every bit as grotesque and disturbing — and horrifying — as Cronenberg's film. The Binewskis' circus is faltering, so they decide to try something new: They breed their own freaks by using drugs and radioactive substances to turn their own unborn progeny into mutants. Some are lucky, like Miranda, who only has a pig tail and works as a stripper. But then there's the twisted Arty, who launches his own cult called Arturism in which his followers compete to mutilate themselves. Consider this a plea for the long-awaited Geek Love movie.

Instead of remaking Flash Gordon...
Unlike The Brood, this may actually be Eisner's next project, assuming The Crazies' weak opening-weekend box office doesn't sap the fuel out of its rockets. This would be an "origin story" for Flash, fairly true to the comics, and would feature lots of planet-hopping.
...Film The Vorkosigan saga by Lois McMaster Bujold instead.
The three-time Hugo-winning saga of the disabled Miles Vorkosigan and his awesome military career is like Flash Gordon on steroids. Just the story of the romance between Miles' parents and the war that brings them together could be a whole movie by itself. And Ming only wishes he was as merciless as the Barrayarans at their worst.

Instead of remaking Short Circuit...
After the success of Wall-E, it was pretty much inevitable, no? Steve Carr, director of Paul Blart, Mall Cop, is attached to direct this film, from a script by Robot Chicken's Dan Milano. Same deal: A military robot gets struck by lightning and develops a conscience, befriending a young boy.
...Film When Harlie Was One by David Gerrold.
Still one of the greatest "cyber-consciousness goes loopy" stories of all time, Gerrold even rewrote this early 1970s novel in the early 1980s, giving you two versions to choose from. Harlie attains artificial sentience, and then threatens to become virtually godlike, all the while running loops around his human creators. The bit where Harlie "drops acid" would make for a pretty hilarious film sequence — although Harlie isn't mobile, which could be a dealbreaker.

Instead of remaking Metropolis...
Okay, seriously? The good news is, this remake hasn't been mentioned since 2007, when producers Thomas Schueler and Mario Kassar bought the rights. At the time, Schueler said, "With the overwhelming role technology plays in our daily lives, the growing gap between rich and poor, including the gradual elimination of the middle class, the story of 'Metropolis' is a frightening reflection of our society that takes place in an all too possible not too distant future."
...Film Virtual Girl by Amy Thomson
Thomson's novel about a man who creates a robot woman who decides to seek her freedom is absolutely crying out for a big-screen version. With shows like Caprica exploring robot consciousness, it's the perfect time to explore the perspective of a cyber-mind that views a body as a "peripheral" and risks going insane from the rush of input that the real world offers.

Instead of remaking Let The Right One In...
This is a case of a remake that it's too late to stop — Cloverfield director Matt Reeves is already filming the American version of this Swedish vampire movie. And early comments from Reeves and star Chloe Moretz seem to hint that the U.S. version will abandon all of the original's troubling hints that the vampire, Eli, is just using young Oskar, the way we see Eli using another guy. Here's hoping we're wrong, since that creepiness is an integral part of the story.
...Film Fledgling by Octavia Butler
Butler's last novel, the first in a series that we'll never see the rest of now, is actually told from the point of view of a 53-year-old vampire who happens to look like a 10-year-old black girl. Butler brings much of the same creepiness as the Swedish film, with the vampires needing seven or eight human volunteers, called syms (or symbionts) to survive — and the syms receive an erotic pleasure from their situation.

Instead of remaking Buffy The Vampire Slayer...
Buffy? Without Joss? That's unpossible. Seriously, it seems like a weird idea, and I'm not entirely sure what the point would be. We haven't heard much about this since last May, but like all Demonic plots from beneath the Earth's surface, I'm sure it's still bubbling away.
...Film The Strange Adventures Of Rangergirl by Tim Pratt instead.
It's like Buffy mashed up with Promethea — Marzi is an art-school dropout running a quirky Santa Cruz coffeehouse, and it turns out the coffeehouse's murals are actually a kind of art magic, dedicated to keeping an evil force at bay. And now it's escaping. It's up to Marzi — and her comic-book fantasy character Rangergirl — to stop the evil force from getting out into the world.

Instead of remaking Total Recall...
Keep your ass off Mars! Okay, don't panic, but Kurt Wimmer, the mind behind Equilibrium and the "what the hell was that" Ultraviolet, has been hired to write a remake of Dan O'Bannon's classic script, based on Philip K. Dick's writing. Okay, go ahead and panic.
...Film Software/Wetware by Rudy Rucker instead.
There are many heirs to Dick's crown of weirdness, but Rucker makes a bold claim to the Dickian tradition with the first two novels in the "Ware" tetralogy. You've got your strange questions about identity (as Cobb Anderson becomes his own android duplicate) your weird conspiracies, and your off-Earth settings (the emancipated robots set up shop on the Moon). I'd actually be curious to see what Wimmer (or someone else in Hollywood) would do with this.

Instead of remaking He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe...
Joel Silver (the producer who's spawned his own universe) has teamed up with writer Justin Marks (Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li) to put together a new version of this sagahttp://www.variety.com/article/VR1117965714.html?categoryid=13&cs=1&nid=2564. Actually, there have only been vague rumblings lately, but the success of Transformers probably makes this film inevitable.
...Film Titan by John Varley instead.
Captain Cirocco "Rocky" Jones travels to Saturn and encounters centaurs, the Titanides, and bird-like creatures, the Angels. She discovers a controlling intelligence, called Gaea, and becomes its super-powered agent, or Wizard. It's a great blending of space opera and high-fantasy tropes, and the perfect alternative to another He-Man.

Instead of remaking Logan's Run...
It's not clear where this project is — Bryan Singer was on board, with a script by Valkyrie screenwriter Chris McQuarrie, and as recently as a year ago, he was still saying he might do it. But Silver and Tron director Joseph Kosinski were also announced to be making this film at one point. So who can say?
...Film any one of a number of dystopian novels instead.
It's amazing that there's still been no real big-screen adaptation of Huxley's Brave New World, which is in many ways the inspiration for Logan's Run. (We're still hoping Ridley Scott will get around to this one, as he's hinted he might.) But there's also Vonnegut's Player Piano, Wyndham's The Chrysalids, Ness' The Knife Of Never Letting Go, and many others.

Instead of remaking The Fly...
This might be the one remake that's worth being excited about. David Cronenberg is directing the remake of his own film, because he's excited by the film-making possibilities of today's technology. Given how much Cronenberg's directorial skills have matured in the past few decades, it could be fascinating to see how he approaches the story of a teleportation experiment gone wrong this time around. But still...
...Film David Marusek's Counting Heads instead.
We'd still rather see Cronenberg do something new. How many more Cronenberg films are we going to get? If we could pick one SF novel for Cronenberg to adapt, it would be David Marusek's clone-angst novel Counting Heads. It's such a Cronenberg story, full of weird doubled characers and nano-plagues. Or else maybe Kathleen Ann Goonan's Queen City Jazz, which is packed with weird body horror done in a literary way, as people are transformed horrifically into early 20th century Jazz Age figures by the malfunctioning nanotech city. Or maybe Margaret Atwood's Oryx And Crake.

Instead of remaking Highlander...
Fast And The Furious director Justin Lin is helming this remake, from a script by Iron Man scribes Matt Holloway and Art Marcum that focuses on the backstory of the immortals. Could be meat, could be cake.
...Film The Steel Remains by Richard K. Morgan.
You want epic sword fights, complicated heroes, sweeping backstories and dire prophecies? This novel demands to become a huge, big budget movie. (Although the copious amounts of gay sex might disturb the Hollywood execs slightly.)

Instead of remaking Fantastic Voyage...
James Cameron himself is involved in producing this remake, and says that everything we've learned about medical imaging will make the new film much more realistic than the original. No director is named yet, but Cameron seems pretty determined to make it happen. And he's got a bit of clout these days.
...Film Surface Tension by James Blish.
Humans arrive on a distant waterworld, with seed banks to help colonize it with adapted human-like offspring. But the ship crashes and the seed banks are ruined — so the ship's crew reengineers their own descendants to become microscopic sea life, retaining human intelligence but reduced to a primitive civilization. Instead of just being temporarily microscopic, these offspring of humanity are permanently tiny, struggling to survive and develop civilization anew. You could also film Isaac Asimov's quasi sequel, Fantastic Voyage 2: Destination Brain.

Instead of remaking The Incredible Shrinking Man...
It's like all your worst nightmares rolled into one. A remake of Shrinking Man starring Eddie Murphy — and directed by Brett Ratner. Couldn't we just watch Meet Dave on Nyquil instead?
...Film Flyboy Action Figure Comes With Gasmask by Jim Munroe.
Actually, we're not sure we want Eddie Murphy or Brett Ratner anywhere near this amazing novel about a mild-mannered guy who can turn into a fly, and who teams up with a woman who can make things disappear to right social wrongs. It's a hilarious, weird, silly book that would make a fantastic movie in the right hands — and actually, it already did make for a great short film.

Other upcoming remakes we don't particularly want to see, but we ran out of time to suggest alternative books for: Mannequin, All Of Me, The Illustrated Man, They Live, Scanners, Fahrenheit 451, Weird Science, The Blob, The Man Who Fell To Earth, Altered States, The Entity and Westworld.

The Long Tail is Strangling Me!

2010-03-01T21:57:00.001-08:00

About a month ago, I wanted some chocolate ice cream-- not chunky chocolate nor dark chocolate chunk nor mocha frozen dessert. When we were kids, someone's Mom would say "do you want ice cream!" Then, they'd say "chocolate or vanilla?"-- milky goodness; or a liquid chocolate bar. It was great. I really do not need chocolate ice cream, so I let the wish linger for a month. Tonight I walked down to the supermarket-- one with LOTS of variety. There was every weird flavour of ice cream-- chunks of stuff and weird fruity flavours and lots of chocolate etc.. The closest I got to my childhood fave: dark chocolate frozen dessert (I am fearful when they are afraid to call it 'ice cream') and chocolate ice milk... Dejected, I opted for the chocolate ice milk and walked home.
This is where we're at today: petulence and the need to assert ourselves through branding has left us with a fragmented set of choices. Chris Anderson coined this phenomeon as "the long tail"-- the marketing trend of product variety that verges on personalization. There are so many varieties that our shelves are crowded; they're crowding out what used to be the common choices. Spoiled kids don't have to make a choice, they can just spin this big roulette wheel of options. And nowadays our society is full of children, some as old as 50 or 60. There used to be great greasy spoons with cheap, fresh black coffee. They're been muscled out by people ordering double-half-caf no-whip extra sweet lattes from Starbucks. We don't need to choose, we can get our candy when we want it and how we want it.
In my line of work, this long tail can have a danergous effect on design. I use Blogger-- by some accounts, this is the 7th most popular site. I have some set-up options for my blog, I have some variety with my blog, but the inputting screen is a WYSIWYG editor with a title field, a hyperlink field and a tagging field. It sits on the stubby thick side of long tail with a few options meant to accomodate the widest number of people. I get LOTS of calls to put in modifcations and move stuff to the left or add in something weird that is viewed as a need.
Too many choices feels as a bad having too few choices. We love that the long tail of choices gives us a fine tuned product that we can love like its our very own. All of this variety means that nobody is on the same page. Your customized web browser or personalized jeans will have quirks unique to your situation, so you're left to thrash all by yourself, choking on your long tail.

My Ethical Minefield

2010-02-28T20:34:00.001-08:00

I have an ethical minefield-- one that is much more unpredictable than what I think other live by. Here's a sample of my moral maze:

Population Density - Good. The only way we can address our travel dynamics and our carbon footprint is to pack people into dense regions. People need to live close to their work and services. If they cannot afford a home, they should have a condo, because you can get booted from an apartment or a sublet condo.
Condos - Evil. Chumps buy condos.
Urban Gardens - Good. Food security, food quality, economy, 0 mile diets, productive recreation-- how could this concept be anything less than awesome?
Bottled Water - Evil. I politely refused bottled water, having faith in the public water supply.
Public Works - Evil. I don't trust that civil servants can manage something important. (cough) Walkerton!
Anti-depressants and ADHD medication - Evil. As Jacobi Mugatu said: "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!" There is an estimation that 10% of America is on anti-depressants or has been. 30 million people need drugs? Are we sure that people are unreasonable and need medication; or is it that people are living in unreasonable times? When soldiers screamed into battle in WWII, they did so tweaked on amphetimines. Why not just keep giving them uppers all the time from that point on? Maybe they needed them to survive unreasonable stimuli. Anti-depressants are being sold in the millions every day as we spin the hamster wheel to fund the lifestyles of Boomers.
Boomers - Mostly Evil. Nice people lived in Nazi Germany. I'm sure nice people were born from 1947 to 1960. But the dangerous impact on this surge of a population demographic can't be ignored. Before they start to finally die off in the 2030s, they are going to need billions of our dollars to fund their retirement and their healthcare. That money is going to come out of my people's hide-- for the next 25 years I will have to help thicken profit margins so the investments increase as those dividends fund the lifestyles of a statistical anomoly in our population.

Man Fleeing Olympics -- Commits Theft and Murder

2010-02-21T12:23:00.000-08:00

A lower mainland man was so desperate to escape the Winter Olympics that he stole a car and fled to Vancouver Island. He later killed two on a motorcycle on the Malahat while travelling to Victoria...

A fatal motor vehicle collision on the Malahat early Saturday afternoon has left a motorcycle rider and his passenger dead and the suspect driver of the second vehicle involved at large.

This incident started early Saturday morning in North Vancouver when an unknown male entered a residence, stole some property and the homeowner's car, a newer model Honda Accord, while the homeowner's were home. The homeowner reported the incident to North Vancouver RCMP.

Later in the morning, the stolen Honda was seen going through the toll booth at Horseshoe Bay. The lone male suspect's picture was captured by BC Ferries video surveillance. Police believe that the stolen Honda and suspect driver arrived at Departure Bay at approximately 10:00 AM.

At approximately 12:25 hours police, fire and ambulance were dispatched to a fatal collision that occurred near the Arbutus Rest Stop on the Malahat. Police learned that the stolen Honda was travelling south and made an illegal left turn into the rest stop, cutting in front of a motorcycle which collided with the Honda, killing both the male rider and fermale passenger of the motorcycle.

The suspect fled the scene of the collision. Police utilized the resources of Police Service Dog from Nanaimo, Coast Guard, RCMP Air Services from Vancouver, and Members from Shawnigan Lake, Westshore and South Island Traffic Services to try to locate the suspect, but to no avail.

The Integrated Collision Analysis and Reconstruction Section (ICARS), Criminal Crash Investigation Team (CCIT) and Forensic Identification Section (FIS) attended the scene to continue the investigation. The Malahat was closed for several hours.

The investigation is continuing and being handled by Members of South Island Traffic Services CCIT. The names of the people killed in this collision will not be released pending the notification of next of kin.

Police are asking for the public's assistance in identifying the suspect driver. This is a far reaching investigation and the suspect may well be from the Greater Vancouver area.

Anyone with information about the suspect is asked to call Cst. Brian Sampson of South Island Traffic Services at 250 416 0352. Anyone with information regarding this collision who has yet to speak with police is also asked to call Cst. Sampson at the number above.

Released by

Cst. Mike Halskov
Media Relations Officer / Team Leader - CCIT
South Island Traffic Services, Chemainus, BC V0R 1K0
9921 Chemainus Rd.
Office: (250) 416-0352
Fax: (250) 416-0354
Email: michael.halskov@rcmp-grc.gc.ca

An Evil Bun In The Oven

2010-02-16T22:28:00.001-08:00

Cafepress is finally doing maternity shirts! My first outting: a Cthulhu ultrasound. Do you know a geekette or Cultist who is in the family way? If so, you can give them the gift that outlasts even time itself. (cue cheesy music)

For just $28.99 you too can have this lovely shirt from Cafepress.com!

Shame On You, UVic

2010-02-15T09:13:00.000-08:00

View Larger Map I left the matinee of Collapse up at UVic with one prevalent thought: grow food on arable land-- moreso, grow it on land that people can get to-- don't put my pepper plants in Mexico: give me greenhouse space. Surely, don't truck my potatoes from California: these are bulky, heavy, low value staples. You can also grow them from the 49° south almost any time of the year. I walked across the lawns of UVic-- manicured tracts of great land enjoyed by rabbits and starving students alike.

Last Fall, we were really lucky to be able to go to Sooke Harbour House. It was an inspirational experiment. In some real life version of the Wonka Chocolate factory, most of the plants are edible. A terrific and expert gardener led us around the lands, tearing off leaves, flowers, berries and flora of all kinds. "Eat it," she said. We complied-- flowers that tastes like cherries; a 15' tall bay leaf tree; patios were divided by rosemary bushes and fennel plants. We could eat the grounds-- so could the wildlife. In nature you have Hobson's Choice for what's available. On our properties, we have lattitude: we can grow what we want.
Why are lands for the intelligencia barren but for the manicured weeds of cropped grass and shrubberies. It turns out UVic does sequester a little part of the lands for feeding people. To the North of the Centennial Stadium there is a patch of land for the UVic Community Gardens. That is, "for now": UVic plans on evicting the Campus Community Garden so make room for another building (though classrooms are not likely-- UVic found that students really don't have as much cash or clout as corporations and government). It's bad enough that UVic can't count above six when building floors into new buildings (build up-- we've been able to that since the 1800s-- it allows for density vs. sprawl). UVic doesn't need to go after the low hanging fruit of the community gardens.
If UVic doesn't completely do away with using arable lands for food, they could move the gardens to one of the other massive tracts of land they have available. In reality, UVic should quadruple the amount of land open for individual gardening-- why can't a student living in residence have a blackberry bush or a row of carrots? In this world run amok with Green and 100 Mile Diets and Carbon Neutral, why is UVic bogarting all of this green space?
If the UVic powers-that-be relocate the gardens and fail to expand them, there are definitely bad locations that could be used that would be out-of-sight out-of-mind. For example, to the South East, past a stand of trees I found last year, there is a big chunk of space likely enjoyed by deer and the rare cougar. This chunk is remote. There's no electricity, there's no running water. The locale only fit for being a grow-op, a body dump, and/or maybe a dorm. The people would have to trek through the forest. There is a service road labelled liberally with "NO UNAUTHORIZED VEHICLES ALLOWED" signed. I doubt that handicapped access would be viable unless the handicapped have a wheelchair made by Hummer.
I know that UVic wants to think they own the lands. I know students want to tell you the university is funded by their tuitions. In truth, taxpayers heavily subsidize post secondary education. The tens of thousands of tax dollars I shell out every year go into the coffers of the govenment who, in turn, dole it out to places like UVic. These are my lands and I don't like what some overpriced academics are doing with my money and my land.
UVic needs to stop. They need to think about what they're doing with the lands they hold. Below is a letter from the site coordinataor of the UVic Campus Community Garden. UVic is planning on doing away with the gardens. I ask that you take a minute to read her call for support. I need you to spend a few minutes in support of the plan to keep the Campus Community Gardens in play. If you're caught up in this Green wave-- if you bicycle for the planet; or take recyclable bags to Thrity's; or drive a Prius; or turn off your lights to save electricity-- if you do any of these, then this needs to be your cause, too.
Personally, I feel UVic needs to take this moment as a moment of clarity. They need to come out of their stupor and expand the lands devoted to the community gardens. They need to ask whether tracts of short green weeds mowed time and again by gas-powered mowers is the ideal practice. They need to ask why their students live in dorms on ramen noodles when the lands could feed a decent share of the student population. If UVic doesn't look out the window and see the lands with new eyes, then their lip service to sustainability is a sham.

Subject: UVic Campus Community Garden needs your support

Hello,
My name is Ada Saab. I am the site coordinator of the UVic Campus Community Garden. We are requesting your support. We have been growing food on campus garden for thirteen years and have resided in the same location off Mackenzie Avenue for this entire time. We've watched both the Enterprise Data Centre and the Technology Enterprise Facility build on either side of us while the parking lot welcomed more and more traffic. Recently we have been notified that at the end of our Memorandum of Understanding with the University of Victoria, on October 2011, we are evicted. However, our new location is still unknown.

There is very little space on our campus any longer. Priorities for development are becoming clear as the management plans to maintain a compact campus by the use of specific building sites within or near Ring Road. Among the list of items to redevelop (including lawn areas, parking lots and lower scale buildings) is our garden.

This spring, there will be a Campus Plan Committee meeting. Neil Connelly, from UVic's Sustainability Office, will be offering a proposal to include our gardens in the master plan for use of the university-owned CJVI property on Cedar Hill Cross Rd, know as Cedar Hill Corner. According to the university, potential uses include academic expansion, faculty and student housing, sports and recreational facilities, parking and other special opportunities. Another alternative is a triangle area of land off of McKenzie Avenue by the rugby fields, a highly visible location with no concrete building plans.
We are concerned there is no mention of the garden in the current UVic Campus Plan and that the university may not deem our space as an important university asset. As a result, we are requesting your support to show UVic Vice-President Finance & Operations that sustainability and education includes the UVic Campus Community Garden. Fill in the appropriate areas of this attached letter or compose your own and send it to Gayle Gorrill, VP Finance & Operations vpfo@uvic.ca vpfo@uvic.ca> , to Neil Connelly, Sustainability Office at nconn@uvic.ca nconn@uvic.ca, and copy the Community Garden executive so we can be aware of your support, at ccgarden@uvic.ca ccgarden@uvic.ca.

I have attached our letter of support to this email however, it is also included below.

Thank-you,

Ada Saab
Site Coordinator
Campus Community Garden
University of Victoria
Web http://web.uvic.ca/~ccgarden/

Sample letter of support:
I am writing this letter as a member of the University community to express my support for the UVic Campus Community Garden.
Students, faculty and staff were recently informed of a plan to move the gardens from its current location in parking lot 7 to an undetermined site. I understand that as the university grows there is increased pressure for new developments that are in line with the 2003 Campus Plan and strategic objectives of the university.
I am concerned, however, that without university support and resources for such a move and a process to collaboratively determine a new site, the community gardens may be in jeopardy.
As a [professor /student/employee] the community gardens have provided me with [teaching space/ growing space/ learning opportunities]. Not only does the community garden help me achieve my personal [teaching/learning] goals, it also helps achieve many of the goals set out in the university’s strategic plan.
The community garden contributes to the “broader learning environment” of the university by providing a community meeting place. By bringing students, faculty, and staff together the garden acts as a node for social networking and enhances the sense of community between university users. Over the past decade, the University has showcased the Community Gardens in a number of websites, publications and tours, contributing to student and faculty recruitment and its reputation as a green campus.
The gardens provide an opportunity for students to participate in experiential learning opportunities and become involved in the university community. The garden has been used extensively in this capacity by the school of Environmental Studies, Department of Women’s Studies and the School of Nursing, and new partnerships are being explored with other university departments.
In order for the community garden to continue contributing to vibrant and healthy campus, a new site must be located and funding must allocated for relocation before the development of parking lot 7 commences. I urge you to support finding an appropriate new site and funds to help the community garden move through this transition smoothly.

Finally... Wayne Gretzky Uses Fire In Vancouver

2010-02-12T21:08:00.001-08:00

After this long, painful drawn out affair, Wayne Gretzky lit the Olympic flame capping off a frenzied day that included the death of an athlete, protests and a lot of people bedding down in $600/night hotels that I would rent for $95/night.

Let's Talk Caprica

2010-02-08T07:17:00.000-08:00

IO9 has shown off some interesting spoilers. This isn't about spoilers, but about geeky projections.

During the Olympic Torch Run, I ran into the sister of one of the supporting players. She said that her brother (I'm not going to out her), makes it to the fifth episode, then he and bunch of other characters (maybe people at Graystone?) all get tossed from the show. Killed or laid off in Graystone downsizing: who knows, but I took it as the former. If so, then they get to "Know Thy Enemy" which airs on March 12th.

Esai Morales has hinted that there will be a large time shift in the future of the show.
The chronology runs like this:

Year -69: William Adama is born.
Year -58: Episode 1 of Caprica.
Year -52: The Cylons revolt (now revealed as the worst ever case of a girl with Daddy issues).
Year -40: The Cylon War ends with the arrival of the Final Five.
Year 0: The Fall. Humanity gets nuked and it's literally a 1-in-a-million chance that anyone survived (ie. 50 billion people get attacked, 50,000 head off in a rag tag fleet).

So, there could be a jump to put Caprica's events closer to the onset of the Cylon War. Between the pilot and the first episode (what was that-- three weeks in the show?), little Willie Adama seems to grow my leaps and bounds. If that's the case, then he will be a 29 yr. old youngster by the time the Cylon War ends.... uh... that math doesn't work. Here's why it might disturbingly not work and why Sina Najafi may have some free time coming up.

Here's more from IO9.com:

...I think Graystone Industries is going into places you didn't think it would go, and the relationship between Daniel and the Adama family is surprising. Just a lot of left turns." [L.A. Times]

Heres' a bit of random (but fascinating) speculation. Esai Morales has been pretty vocal lately in hinting that terrible, unthinkable things are going to happen to Joseph Adama later in the season. Everybody assumes that his son Willie Adama is the one character who can't die — but what if he does? And what if Joseph remarries and has another son, whom he also names William? Supporting info includes the fact that Willie's eyes are the wrong color, and Admiral Adama's dossier in "Hero" said his mother was "Evelyn" not "Shannon." (And we just met an Evelyn, the law clerk.)...

So, BSG is good with minutae. It's unlikely that they gaffed on the name previously established. Also, I don't recall much highlight on Joseph Adama being a widower from the BSG era. My theory: Joseph Adama's vengeance on the Graystones backfires. The Adama immediate family was knocked down to two; and the Graystone immediate family was knocked down to that level. Balance plays a cruel turn, and when Daniel Graystone's wife is murdered, his angry Cylon in the basement attacks the Adama's henchman, killing Sam and that boy who he seems to be schooling in the ways of crime (lil' Willie).

That gives Jospeh Adama a moment of clarity and set him on the course to raise a son who will serve as a nugget in the latter days of the Cylon War; and it make him the sort of man who writes law books, instead of hiding bribes in them.

The Special Mitten Crowd

2010-02-01T07:41:00.000-08:00

Our world is being remade to suit the Special Mitten set-- people who get "special mittens" (see right), partially to keep their hands safe and partially to us safe from their hands. These are the people who fill up the left side of the big swoop in the IQ bell curve. They drive our world. Morons.

Here's the list of people, places and products for the "Special Mitten" set-- people who need to have their mitten pinned onto their jackets for safe keeping:

Casual Dining: Tim Horton's
Highway Lane: Right Lane
Mayor in the CRD: Dean Fortin
TV Network: FoxTV
TV Genre: Reality TV
Best Movie of all Time: Avatar
Best X-Men Movie: X-Men Secret Origins: Wolverine
Best concept: The Bucket List
Leno vs. O'Brien vs. Letterman: Leno

Do you have any additions? Anything that caters to the Special Mitten set?

iPad iScmad

2010-01-30T22:18:00.000-08:00

src: Flickr

Apple launched the iPad with much hoopla. They were so eager to get to the market, they skipped over the question of whether they own the rights to the iPad name. They don't. I thought I could make hay off of the iPaid.com domain-- I can't: a bank owns it.
I do love the concept of the iPad: $499+ price tag. It has the streamlined sexy cool of the iPod and iPhone. I have seen lots of tablet PCs over the years. They were all wanting, so the market was ready for a new gadget. Many things suck about the iPad: one app at a time. What? Since 1988, I've been able to run more than one app. WTF? Even the new Palm has that capacity-- so iPod newer bigger brother should have been able to pull this off. What this will do is raise awareness of the tablet concept in the PC world. Between Windows 7, the iPod pinch-pull fascination and trending towards laptops, the iPad could have propelled us squarely in the tablet direction and opened the floodgates for Apple revenues. Instead, I think Apple will repeat the path of being a trailblazer followed by more successful innovators (eg. Mac vs. Windows).
The iPad is bigger iPod/iPhone. It's definitely not a better version of either, missing the portability of both and the functionality of the latter. I like that my laptop closes to becomes its own last line of defense. I like that my hands are resting atop the key pad while the screen square of facing me. The hinge on my laptop is keeping those two in a handy relationship. Sure you can play a game on the iPad, but the Wii, PS3 and 360 all do it better.
All of these are good reasons i Pass on the iPad. That said: make me into a believer. Give me a free iPad to review. If you make me love the iPad I will let my love be known to the world.

The Ten Million Dollar Man

2010-01-27T07:20:00.000-08:00

Let's just say that I give up. I want out of the rat race. I want to cash out and trundle through life-- not a capricious life: just a life where I don't need to punch a clock. I also want some insulation. I don't want to have all the cash I need, then listen as my relatives are besieged by wolves. I need to get others insulated or get them the cash to cash out as well. When I was a kid-- even before the Bare Naked Ladies' song, I thought, "If I had a million dollars...?" I recently re-did that mental exercise. And I have to say that $1million doesn't go as far as it used to.
Let's see what I need to have and financial bill attached. Here's my math. Note that it's my math-- your situation may be different. If you don't live in Victoria-- one of the most expensive places to live-- you can likely accomplish what I suggest and become your own six million dollar man-- or woman.
I want to own my home. A friend actually wrote a cheque for his first house. A CHEQUE. We're into a 30 year mortgage. I could pay it off in five years and still not violate the terms of the mortgage, but it's not like I have $60k extra on any one year. So let's say I settle up for the house, then trade up to a house that would fit out style (eg. one with a dining room (ooh-- Mr. Fancypants) and a workshop). The bill: $300,000.
I don't want to work. It's not that I'm lazy. I just find it unpalatable-- like eating worms. You can do it, but you'd rather not. I am excellent at making bad decisions on my own, I don't need to be urged to make bad decisions by others. If I didn't have to do a job-type-job, I'd likely split my time between volunteer work, sculpting, kayaking, walking and gardening (well moving around buckets of dirt). And maybe being a bit of a jackass (that is my sole true calling).
I have 30 years before I'm in the nursing home (though I am technically senile now). I want some money to keep my life going as is-- some cash to dally, but not enough to give Bill Gates a run for his money. Without a mortgage, this could be $50,000/year (net). Keep it going until I am back in diapers and being fed soft food. Let interest accumulation keep inflation in check: 30 x $50k = $1,500,000.
I don't want my wife to work. She gets grumpy when she's working. At least that the current excuse for her grumpiness. My wife, statistically, will outlive me. She also needs enough money to buy craft supplies, etc.. 35 x $50k = $1,750,000.
My kid needs to have a future. I envied a girl who had a $500,000 trust fund waiting for her-- it must be nice to know that age 25 packs along a half million dollar payday. When I was 25, I was at Eatons subsisting on $9,000/year. So, we're going to rescue my kid. $350,000 to put down on a house/condo (in Victoria, $350k buys a closet) for when the day comes. We're also going to give kiddo some cushions. We're going to toss $80,000 to fund a degree-- tuition + bare living essentials. While I don't want to work, I want kiddo to work a little through university to stay out of trouble. That's my contribution to the incompentant intelligencia who run academia. Let's also provide a $30k cushion per year until the rest home: 60 years x $30k: $1,800,000.
Get out to the extended family now: My nieces and nephews also need to fund the tweed elbow set: 5 children x $80k per degree/living expenses-- $400,000.
While we're at it, I don't want to visit three of them in their separate Gorge Road apartments in the coming years; (the other two of them will be okay, so let's way all I need to do for them is a degree). I need 3 down payments-- I better insulate those a little, so they can each get a closet with a bathroom: 3 x $400k -- $1,200,000.
Now the parents. My father is dead to me, so I have three parents to consider. I have pegged 70 as the year that the diapers kick in. But that's me. For them, let's give them until 75 before they can hide their own Easter Eggs. They need to have condos without mortgages. They're not in freestanding homes now, so this is sort of a trade across. 3 condos x $400k = $1,200,000. Don't forget the crappy strata councils-- they love to roger their owners. So, $100k apiece to either pay for the dubious decisions of councils, or fund legal attacks versus same: 3x$100k = $300,000.
While we're at it, I'm middle aged and I want to retire. They're retirement age, so they MUST retire, but do it with cash: 3 parents x 10 years x $40k/year = $1,200,000.
Oh yeah: new cars for all those who should on the road (that's 4 cars-- the others should not be on the road); and we're going to keep each car 10 years before we swap out our cars. 4 drivers x 2 swaps x $40k per car = $320,000.
The bill for my financial plan: $10.4 million. Sadly, the coat tails aren't long enough to let friends ride. For that, I'd need a lot more as my friends deserve a taste of this gravy train.
Next time you hear about a lottery winner and how they lost it all in a couple years, don't be surprised. If they didn't get $10+M, they didn't have enough.