Mike DeWolfe : The Daily Edition

Hey-- can't Tasmanian siblings have sex in peace? My fly dance moves make up for my small mis-shaped penis! Watch as the North American Dumb-Ass, clad in shorts considers attacking the man with the gun... Face it: some people cannot handle a world with Peter Mansbridge Tonight on CNN: dumb reporter get attacked by the Hulk. OMG! My BF is swinging from a lamp post like a chimp!  That's why I totally love him!  How many dumb-asses does it take the get a fire going, anyways? Come to Vancouver: Enjoy our downtown open-air BBQ We'll hide behind this fence! Question: How old are you, mentally? Check it! I'm FOOURR!! Dude! I totally got a picture of that thing I burned, yo! I didn't have the heart to tell him that it didn't read "Hooligan" Man-- this wait for the port-a-potty is taking FOREVER! The irony: Christy Clark is going to need dumb people to get re-elected. Unfortunately, they riot...

A lower mainland man was so desperate to escape the Winter Olympics that he stole a car and fled to Vancouver Island. He later killed two on a motorcycle on the Malahat while travelling to Victoria... A fatal motor vehicle collision on the Malahat early Saturday afternoon has left a motorcycle rider and his passenger dead and the suspect driver of the second vehicle involved at large. This incident started early Saturday morning in North Vancouver when an unknown male entered a residence, stole some property and the homeowner's car, a newer model Honda Accord, while the homeowner's were home. The homeowner reported the incident to North Vancouver RCMP. Later in the morning, the stolen Honda was seen going through the toll booth at Horseshoe Bay. The lone male suspect's picture was captured by BC Ferries video surveillance. Police believe that the stolen Honda and suspect driver arrived at Departure Bay at approximately 10:00 AM. At approximately 12:25 hours police, fire ...

Science World hit its pinnacle after the National Social ist Credit Party (aka the Liberal prequel) spawned Expo 86. Since then, the quaint 1980s interactive science exhibit has aged. Many of the exhibits are broken or non-functional. Now the Telus World of Science has become very expensive and largely run by volunteers of varying capacities. One of those volunteers humiliated a woman who was breastfeeding her child while her other child was playing in one of the functional exhibits. In response to the conduct of the volunteer (who is getting paid what he is worth), Science World has rewritten its orientation policy for volunteer staff members. The volunteer told her that breastfeeding her newborn baby on site was "immoral." I love the idea of calling breastfeeding immoral. I'm sure this spastic either feels dirty when he pees; or feels shame at what his mother laughingly called his "nub." The irony of this incident is still to come: breastfeeding activists a...

Below is a moment from Vancouver's Eastside. What I like is how chaotic this scene must have been -- people bleeding and fighting. A woman takes off down the stairs on a bicycle only to get it jammed in a door frame. On our last trip into Vancouver we accidentally went through the Downtown Eastside. It wasn't surprising, but it was amazing. Wifey's favorite was a guy at a bus stop who had pieces of bread in front of him as he spoke tenderly to one special bun in his hands: Police say Vancouver woman attacked by machete-wielding man in serious condition By THE CANADIAN PRESS – 10 hours ago VANCOUVER, B.C. — Vancouver police say a woman is in serious condition after being attacked by a man wielding a machete. Const. Jana McGuinness said Thursday that the 39-year-old woman had major surgery after the machete sliced through her shoulder and into her collarbone. McGuinness said the attacker went after the woman after he'd been slashed in the forehead in an altercation...

This strapping you lad in China was out on the night of the Beijing Olympics. He was feeling happy-- randy even. With single women in scarce supply, he couldn't be choosy. He spied a lovely young metal bench and made his move. At first the bench resisted his advances. But he wooed her in a way that only a lonely Hong Kong resident could do. Before long, they were making babies-- bench-babies. But something wasn't right. HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO STICK IT TO A METAL BENCH!! He was discovered. Emergency crews were called. They couldn't separate the lovers, so they had option of removing the man from the bench (yep, I'm in the protective fetal position too); or cutting away the bench that he was stuck in (yep, I'm still curled up). They took the latter option. When will we be able to live a society that respects a man's choice to make sweet sweet love to a bench?

I learned of a disturbing plan in the works for theVancouver 2010 Winter Olympic Games. While the snow covered Whistler resort area was an ideal venue for the Olympics, rain soaked Vancouver co-opted the games and many of the events will be held indoor re-creations of winter climes. Vancouver has a massive problem: the homeless. After a couple decades of government cutbacks, closures of mental facilities and general disregard for the homeless, parts of the downtown core are made of predominantly displaced people. When film crews have ventured into the notorious Downtown East Side, they have to take care as residents of the nearby hotels there have been known to pelt them with hypodermics hurled from above into the alleyway below. With the world coming to Vancouver and Vancouver unprepared to address its homeless population, what's it going to do? It's going to give them a free ride! Social workers are planning to hand out ferry passes to hide these people in nearby Victoria or...

2011: the year of financial ruin. Nuff said.