Showing posts from June, 2005

Bruce is The Man!

I am compiling a list of people who fit in a category. The Man. Not like the guy that keeps us down, but the guy that gets it done ("You da man!"). These are guys that give great performances, do cool things and generally impress me.

Near the top of that list if Bruce Campbell. He has a few new movies coming out and he is out schlepping for his new book: "Make Love* The Bruce Campbell way"

This Is From The Inside Flap
What you're reading right now is known as the “flap copy.” This is where the 72,444 words of my latest book, Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, are cooked down to fit in a 3 ½-by-9 ½-inch column. But how does one do that with a fictional story about a B movie actor’s disastrous attempt to finally star in a big-budget Hollywood movie? Do you tantalize readers with snappy zingers like the one in chapter six where Biff the Wonder Boy says...

This Will Put A Twitter In Yer Mullet

The new Ford Phallus - Be the envy of framers and yard workers and ex-cons and guys that have knocked up chicks 'round o' the Bingo Palace. Wooo! Wooo! Rock'N'Roll!!!! woo.

I'm Dying To Try This Out

From and scientists have succeeded in reviving the dogs after three hours of clinical death, paving the way for trials on humans within years.Pittsburgh's Safar Centre for Resuscitation Research has developed a technique in which subject's veins are drained of blood and filled with an ice-cold salt solution. The animals are considered scientifically dead, as they stop breathing and have no heartbeat or brain activity. But three hours later, their blood is replaced and the zombie dogs are brought back to life with an electric shock.
More on this... or here

How ICBC Can Make Money & Make The Roads Safer

We are idiots. Cars are sacred cows. If you get charged for assault, you may not be allowed to own a gun ever. If you kill a slough of people with your car, no one would EVER take away your car. True, you may get a suspension for a while. You will not get a lifetime suspension. Lifetime suspensions never happen. We need to tame the people on the road and end the era of using pedestrians as target practice. Money talks. Money can be used to make our roads safer.

Auto insurance can be used to shape society. Just as taxes on cigarettes have curbed some smokers, auto insurance rates can make our roads safer. Here are four ways to use ICBC to reshape our roads.

Odometer based insurance. The more you drive, the more you should pay. Conversely, the less you drive, the less you should pay. If you are on the road everyday, contributing to gridlock and global warming and putting yourself in harm's way; you should pay for that privilege.
Discount some of the basic rate (like $100/yr). Find out …

Star Wars USB Drives

From the seriously cool/seriously sad category:

Star Wars themed USB drives

Animal Mows Down Five People In Victoria

Today, a motorist in a red Nissan (BC Licence: 263 N?L) sped off of Pandora Ave and onto Cook Street. He hit a telephone pole, climbed the curb and wiped out five people waiting for a bus. One on-looker saw the car drag a garbage bin, a women and a baby carriage. According to Livejournal posts, he got out and smirked at the carnage he had created. The first guess is that this was a case of street racing.

Here are some interesting links:
All of these pale by comparison to my favorite site: Canada 411

If you want something done about this, make sure that the head of the City of Victoria police board knows your opinion
If you want the new Attorney General, Wally Oppal to earn his pay. Let him know how you feel about this, too.

** Update **
The charges have come down. One charge related to the murder and three charges relating to th…

Video Vigiliante

This is a swell site that exposes criminality in Oklahoma City:

Happy Father's Day!

If you see Revenge of the Sith this weekend, make sure to ask for your commememorative "Who's Your Daddy?" poster. As I like to tell my daughter: "Even Luke Skywalker has a dad."


Golden Cow Awards A medley of cool and disturbing images. NSFW

No Star Wars and No Star Trek Makes Homer Something Something

With the passage of Star Trek and the closure of the Star Wars saga, I've noticed an odd phenomeon: I'm lapsing back to my pre-1977 interests.

Harken back to an unfortunate era in my life. I liked sci-fi, but I loved unexplained phenomeon and crypto-zoology. Bigfoot, UFOs, ghosts, you name it. If only nutbars and retards believed in it, I was on board.

Now I'm drawn to weird conspiracy theories, weird topics, and weird news. I think Star Wars and Star Trek filled the hunger gap for 28 years. Now, I'm gravitating to same old crap again (see? I call it crap and I still follow it). Just wait until 2012. If the end of the Mayan calendar brings about a new epoch, I will loudly say, "Told ya so!" If not, I'll be a tarded 44-year old with a broken Mayan clock radio (lousy Mayan electronics....)

Move Over Sigfired and Roy!

The Prophet Yahweh (link#2) has been able to summon UFOs. Today he had some news for the people of Earth: They're coming. According to the Prophet Yahweh (the prophet of Yahweh) , he will summon UFOs to Las Vegas between July 1st and July 15th of this year. Best of all, he's summoned UFOs before. According to the Prophet, the media won't take him seriously. I don't think it's because of the turban, but the nifty star emblem pin.
This has always been a concept of mine: UFOs have been so discreditted that if they landed in front of the White House would the TV networks cover it?
I bet Bill O'Reilly would called them enemies of the American way and then go back to threatening to smear stuff on women.


Build Your Own TARDIS
We have room for this on the deck (hint, hint)
(more on The Doctor...)

BC Ferries Surcharge

This is what I submitted to the BC Ferries Commission:

To whom it may concern,
I would like to lodge an objection to the plans of the BC Ferries proposal to add a fuel surcharge. As a Vancouver Island resident, the BC Ferries service is my chief means to getting off of the island. As it is, the ferry fares are prohibitively expensive. I feel that the short term surcharge will set a precedent. If they are allowed to increase fares because of operating expenses, the BC Ferries Corporation will be encouraged to pass down any change in expenses to the consumer: labour costs, capital improvements, insurance expenses and on and on. If the BC Ferries Corporation failed to plan for variable expenses in their business model, that is a failing that their customers should not have to deal with.
I object to their "carrot-and-a-stick" approach of giving us the alternative of slowing the ferries to conserve fuel. I ask that the BC Ferries commission hold the BC Ferries Corporation …

Cue The Imperial March...

Paul Wolfowitz, new president of the World Bank has gone to Nigeria

A Friend of a Friend Told Me...

This was a messed up concept that a friend of a friend got obsessed over. Geologists have drilled to Hell:

At a place in Siberia called, "Ammennusatia." I haven't been able to find out where it is geographically, but I have to wonder if it's anywhere near Tunguska. If so, that's a tonne of fodder for sci-fi/fantasy stories.

Here's my 5 second contemporary fantasy concept (I think Rush Limbaugh would like this):
1908: a creature bursts from the bowels of the Earth and is born into the ruined wilderness near Tunguska. The Russian Revolution has been mired and rudderless. A few years later, the Lena Goldfield Massacre occurs. Rasputin rises to prominence. Great War flares. The Soviet Union is born (these guys love red... just like the devil... hmmm....). All of these events happen just so many years after the Tunguska explosion. Think of it as a retro-X-Files/Cthuhloid/Exorcist/Commie bashing tale of the supernatural and…

There's one! Set For Boil!

Expect this in a toy store near you in September 2005.

Weasel Hides From The Light of Day

Two related stories:
BC Member of Parliment Takes Stress Leave (from the "Can't Handle The Heat..." category)
Tries To Pass Off A Package to an Unsuspecting Passenger (What was in the package? No one can confirm its contents nor the identity and whereabouts of the eventual courier)

Infamy doesn't have its privileges. This is the last line from the second report: "Sources say that Mr. Grewal's privileges in the Maple Leaf lounge have been suspended." Tee hee.


I may put off that cruise for a little while :
At least 12 passengers have gone overboard or disappeared since 2000, including five on Carnival Cruise Lines ships within the past 12 months. Some are suicides, others accidents, and at least one incident suggests the possibility of foul play. One was lost coming into Jacksonville last Thanksgiving, a new port for cruise embarkation. Many incidents are completely unexplained, including one man who survived by swimming 17 hours until being spotted by a cargo ship. He awoke in pitch-black sea with no shoes, no pants, no ship, and no explanation for how he ended up in the water during a voyage to Cozumel, Mexico.

Workbench article

Golly. Maybe Worf and Sulu can fight it out... (snivel)

I think I'm going to enter something in this, now that I have my life back: