Mike DeWolfe : The Daily Edition

12:33PM PST: OMG: MJ is rising from his casket! 12:41PM PST: HOLY: The troops are trying to keep MJ at bay with flamethrowers. He's unstoppable! 12:45PM PST: Thank God! Obama has just dropped in from Marine-1 with a 50-cal firing silver tipped bullets! 12:46PM PST: Obama just shot LaToya! The crowd is cheering! Now that's a funeral!

When I watched the Obama inauguration, something about the crowd scenes seemed familiar. Then it struck me: the Two Towers! So, please enjoy a mash-up of Inauguration Day, if one of the speeches were voiced by Saruman.

The schedule: Swearing-In Ceremony When and Where: 11:30AM ET (8:30 PST) on the west front of the U.S. Capitol, Theme: "Renewing America's Promise"; The full program will include: - Musical Selections: The United States Marine Band, followed by the San Francisco Boys Chorus and the San Francisco Girls Chorus - Call to Order and Welcoming Remarks: Sen. Dianne Feinstein - Invocation: Dr. Rick Warren - Musical Selection: Aretha Franklin - Vice President-elect Joe Biden will be sworn into office by Associate Justice of the Supreme Court John Paul Stevens - Musical Selection: John Williams, composer/arranger with Itzhak Perlman, (violin), Yo-Yo Ma (cello), Gabriela Montero (piano) and Anthony McGill (clarinet) - President-elect Barack Obama will take the Oath of Office, using President Lincoln's Inaugural Bible, administered by Supreme Court Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Jr. - Inaugural Address - Poem: Elizabeth Alexander - Benediction: The Reverend Dr. Joseph E. L...

The talking hair-dos on CNN keep on going on and on about Barrack Obama's executive experience. Here are some quick bullet points: John F. Kennedy was also a senator but not a governor George W. Bush was a governor-- so experience seems to count for very little John McCain is ALSO someone without executive experience (never a governor) Nixon and George Bush I, both had no gubernatorial experience-- no maybe it counts for a little...

Here are details on the people who will be joining Barack Obama before he climbs to the podium at the Democratic National Convention. (drum roll please...) Barb Sackman of Fallon, Montana Barb is a teacher living in Fallon, Montana, a town of 150. She lives on her family's wheat and cattle farm, and rising fuel prices are making it hard to get by. She hopes Barack's plan for alternative bio-fuels will help the struggling economy in rural Montana. Barb volunteers for her church, sits on a hospital board, and organizes community events in Fallon. Barb says Barack "genuinely cares about the problems of people like me. We appreciate his continued trips to Montana to let us know that we are not forgotten." She will attend the convention with her husband. Lenny Julius of Emerald Isle, North Carolina Lenny is a retired naval officer who believes the Iraq War was a serious strategic mistake. He says that in 2000 he looked forward to seeing John McCain, a fellow shipmate, in t...

Ted Kennedy is in hospital and things look grave. Reporters are circling the carcass. Shrillary is fixed on CNN.com waiting to see Obama's super-delegate count drop by one should Kennedy die.

This from The Trailblazer : The Hillary Clinton camp has tried every avenue to delay reporting on the delegates from the Texas primary. They tried to intimidate the Texas Democratic Party prior to the primary. That failed. On election night, they threw up a duststorm of objections about irregularities. Now, the Clinton camp us urging the state party to delay the March 29 county and senate conventions, where details of how 67 delegates picked in the county caucuses will be announced. @Mad Milly and the Monster by Wayne Slater Why are they doing this? Because they are losing. CNN projects that Barack Obama won the Texas caucuses with 38 convention delegates, compared to 29 for Clinton. The Texas primary is a complicated, two-step process. Clinton won more delegates than Obama in the popular-vote portion, 65 to 61. With his likely caucus-delegate haul, looks like Obama won the overall statewide delegate lead, 99 to 94 -- or once superdelegate endorsements are factored in, 109 to 106. Hill...

The US Presidential race is two years away. That's lots of time for a change in the politicial landscape. So, let me hang out my political guess, so that someone can come back and laugh at me and how wrong I was. Democrats Presidential - Howard Dean Vice-Presidential - Barak Obama Republicans Presidential - Rudy Gulliani Vice-Presidential - John McCain Gulliani will win by trucking out the 9/11 corpses. Dean will win if Congress and the Senate and go into overdrive to show off all of the skeletons in the Republican closets (e.g. Uncle Bandar and Saudi's ties to the bin Ladens). My odds are on a Gulliani/McCain bid. When the Republicans engineered the Iranian hostage crisis in the late 1970s, they got away with it because the body count was low. When the Republicans pushed the spotlight off of Saudi Arabia, the resulting body count was huge (3,000 dead Americans civilians; and more than half a million dead Iraqis and Afghan citizens).