Showing posts from March, 2009

Quack Qu-uugh

I have wanted an airbrush for years. The hurdle was the splurge on something that doesn't seem like a necessity and the follow-up expense of the air compressor. I got an airbrush for Christmas (thanks, Sis). I then went to Barclay's Exchange-- the best place to find stuff in town. It's crazy how many odd things I have gotten there at the best possible price in town: Desktop computerPS3Digital CameraDVDs galoreSledgehammer... and an Air CompressorI loaded up on art supplies after Christmas, but I had nothing practical to paint. Last year's Cthulhu would have been awesome, but he is now the super-odd lawn ornament at a friend's place. As luck would have it, a friend gave me some lawn ornaments-- plain ornaments. So, I thought: time to Zombie it up a notch!
I primed a couple of the ducks (a standing duck for me; a baby duck for Kiddo). Then, I applied a basic coat with craft paint and some black and green washes. I zombied up the duck's bill with some hobby putty (…


If I had seen this yesterday, I would have blamed today's sickness on this:

Puke Sues Paramount

According to this article and this more direct source, Harlan Ellison is suing Paramount. This stupid script was written 45 years ago. It had to be rewritten because Harlan Ellison submitted a script with massive crowd scenes and other BS impractical for a 48 minute teleplay for a show where they had fist fights instead of laser battles because laser battles cost too much. Somehow he cajoled them into taking the script but they had to rewrite it to make it useable. In retrospect, they should have paid for it then burned it.
If you look at Harlan Ellison's influence, it's peppered throughout Hollywood. Not the successful part of Hollywood, but the part of Hollywood that struggles for a 1.0 Nielson rating. He's the patron saint of stilted scripts and cliche regurgitation. If characters are doing something ridiculous on a show no one is watching, expect to see Harlan Ellison in the credits.
Maybe there's a tinge of envy on my part. I have bad ideas! I can be mercurial! I ca…

Olympic Weasel Update

No one would willingly create the economic disaster that the Olympics brings. Montreal was in debt debt for a generation. Every city victimized by the IOC forms the path of wreckage all the way up to the Vancouver 2010. The Liberals pushed for the games and spent millions of known dollars winning the bid. They pledged that this Olympics would not see massive disruption and that it would stay in the black. Big corporate sponsors like Nortel pledged to support them. This would create jobs, not destroy jobs. The Olympics would be a benefit to all communities in BC.
Flash forward to 2009. This from Global TV--
...for up to two months next year, meaning thousands of people from small B.C. communities will likely not be able to fly directly into the city.Daryl Smith, CEO of Pacific Coastal Airlines, said Monday that flights coming from communities such as Powell River, Bella Bella, Port Hardy and Trail will not be deemed secure enough to fly into into YVR during a two-month period surrounding…

Ironic Placement

This morning's thread of Breakfast Televsion in Vancouver: "What's your worst job." One staffer said that B-TV was their worst job. That's fitting since the rout that has taken place at this channel and other media over the last year or so. I went off on a tangent and did a search via Google. I found that CityTV STILL hasn't cleaned up their B-TV personalities page. What's more ironic: after dumping chunks of their team but keeping them on their website for MONTHS, their ads are part of the "No Contracts" Shaw cable campaign.

Ways that BSG could end

I found these via the Interwebs and they were good:

· Bob Newhart wakes up next to Boomer and says: "You need more sweaters"

· Patrick Mcgoohan turns out to be the final cylon and rides "Rover" back to Caprica.

· Kyle MacLachlan is the final Cylon calling himself Bob and smashes his forehad agasint a mirror while giggling "How's Iblis! How's Iblis!"

· The main characters make their way to the burnt out remins of a diner. With some effort they manage to make a table side jukebox work. "Don't Stop Beleiving" plays. Screen goes black.

· They arrive at the real Earth. Their technology is woefully behind the times. The leading nation has just elected Jimmy Carter and something known as disco has died. Apollo and Boxey unpack their flying jet bikes and lead a team of super strong school children to the surface. The year is 1980.

· Starbuck wakes up, she stumbles into the bathroom. The shower is running. She opens the door to see Patrick Duffy. …

Nuke them all -- Let God Sort it Out

Next Big Future has a cool post of the real impact of nuclear weapons. One thing, I took away from this article: the wave to nuclear threat peaked in 1960. I thought the stockpiles grew in the 1970s, but that appears to not be the case. The media hyped my imminent demise so much that my adolescence had a pall cast over it. Maybe this is why the collapse of local media has me thinking, "meh, if you didn't suck, you'd still be in business." After a half century of using fear to glue us to the TV, we're worn out.

A-Morning Cancelled... again

A-Morning From A-Channel or A-TV or whatever it will be after the next takeover has been canceled effective IMMEDIATELY. The A-Morning crew would crow over how many episodes they had ("This is Episode 120, Eric!"). I thought that they were feeling that Wile-E.-Coyote-off-the-cliff sensation too. When the last owner of the channel had to cut back they nailed the morning show. Then a new owner rolled out a morning show in markets like Victoria. They dusted off the format and started doing the show again. Monday morning, I popped into a Thrifty's where Maggie Cox was wrapping up her live spot. There she was amid more lights than a Hollywood premier and more cables than a Frankenstein movie. All of her gear and personal effects filled a shopping buggy. I felt a little bit of pity. When I see the same people in front of the camera at 6AM and 5PM and 11PM, I think: "Where is Labour Relations? How can these people be forced to pepper a 17 hour day with three newscasts?&quo…

Games Boyz -- Now With Movies is now up. In the coming week, there will be some Watchmen coverage. As we kick into Summer, expect many more movies and videos. We will have reviews as well as news. Stay tuned.

Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss / Theodor Seuss Geisel was born on this day in 1904. As a kid, I liked his books-- the wacky non-human characters and parables. I'm a parable junkie: I used to watch those painful animated Aesop's fables, I could quote more episodes of Twilight Zone from memory, and I loved Dr. Seuss. When I grew up, I learned more about Geisel and my interest grew. He downplayed the Communist "threat", he was an anti-fascist (anti-fascism in the US died in the 1950s under the McCarthy era) and a political cartoonist.
I would love to make kid's books, but with the paint drying on the zombie-colored lawn duck in the backyard I somehow think I am not well suited to craft stories for kids-- even my aborted opus, "Billy's Last Big Owie", a dark tale where a kid encounters the A to Z of death (yep: death by zamboni) on a school bus and then meets his own end. Kids wouldn't read it. Everyone else would be actually unhappy.

How are you going to celebrate the Vancouver Olympics?

This strapping you lad in China was out on the night of the Beijing Olympics. He was feeling happy-- randy even. With single women in scarce supply, he couldn't be choosy. He spied a lovely young metal bench and made his move. At first the bench resisted his advances. But he wooed her in a way that only a lonely Hong Kong resident could do. Before long, they were making babies-- bench-babies. But something wasn't right. HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO STICK IT TO A METAL BENCH!!
He was discovered. Emergency crews were called. They couldn't separate the lovers, so they had option of removing the man from the bench (yep, I'm in the protective fetal position too); or cutting away the bench that he was stuck in (yep, I'm still curled up). They took the latter option.
When will we be able to live a society that respects a man's choice to make sweet sweet love to a bench?