Showing posts from May, 2008

Pink Gorilla

The world needs more pink gorillas:

Grandson of Sam

Is it my imagination or does Matt from Hell's Kitchen look like David Berkowitz (aka the Son of Sam). I wonder: could there be a cooking show in the future? Maybe sponsored by Soylent Green.
Watch out Gordon Ramsey...

CIA Earthquake Machine Knocks the Wind Out of The Bejing Olympics

Shortly before the Chinese earthquakes hit, people started seeing peculiar multi-colored clouds in the sky.

Weird, huh?

Cause, Effect and Digg

I was trolling through Digg (Digg is great: if cows could use the Internet, we would have had Digg 10 years ago.).

I found these two stories on the same page. Cause? Effect? You tell me.

Food With Urine
Two major supermarkets were cordoned off by police today after a man shocked shoppers by allegedly spraying urine on the food. The raider entered Morrisons in Glevum Way, Gloucester at around 11.20am and fired a "foul-smelling substance" - thought to be urine - on meat, salad and fruit. He fled the store and went to Tesco four miles away in Quedgeley, where he again terrified customers and staff by spraying the fluid on produce. Food Gets Thrown Out
Americans waste about 20% of their food. You know: if someone sprayed my food with urine, I would toss all of it out.

Quick News From Ted Kennedy

Ted Kennedy is in hospital and things look grave.
Reporters are circling the carcass.
Shrillary is fixed on waiting to see Obama's super-delegate count drop by one should Kennedy die.

Victus In Crepusculum

I am stuck like a dim drop of blood hung in mid-air in Nightwatch's Gloom. Nothing changes.

There's this great bit that I keep going back to from Bruce Sterling's Schismatrix: they found an immortality serum and administered it to test mice. Three hundred years later, one of the mice is still alive scurrying around his cage. The protagonist lifts the cage away from the mouse and it keeps tracing out the confines of the cage, pulling itself up imaginary bars. It is so used to the cage, so locked into its patterns that it cannot deviate: the bars are hardwired into its brain.

We've been stuck in our transitional house for seven years-- the shit hole between rental and a real house. I am tired of pretending that will change; so I've picked up a Judo master's skill of taking a fall, so that when I trip over piles of crap or cables or toys, I don't break anything. Really, I shouldn't bother: that would be something new. For that reason alone, I should be cav…


This is either CGI or 500 yrs. of practice. I'm betting on the latter:
More videos from the "Contagious" channel at

Jay Leno's 20 Best Headline Bits

... #15... I like to think I serve the ultimate sandwich...

Portraits Gone Wrong

So what is the deal with photos like these? The girl looks like she's doing one of those maternity portraits. But two things wreck the sentiment: the cheezy Garden of Eden background; and the wigger impregnator.
I'm wondering, what broke this image for me. It's 2008-- we're living in the future. Guys with tattoos are a part of that, but still it's a giveaway of circus folk. Is it the shirtless couple in jeans? Maybe. Maybe it's the shit-eating grin on the wigger: the looks that says, "yeah... I got bareback action last year... yeah, bro. Check it out. I got a photo of me grabbing this chick's ass." Or is it the girl who looks like she's thinking, "JC is awesome. He's got a good job at Walmart and I'm gonna have his baby..."
This couple reminds me of a couple that came to Eaton's with a $200 voucher for items for their new baby. They zipped past the diapers and clothes; then went straight for the stuffed animals and baby mon…

Mmm.... You can really taste the anus

Originally uploaded by dewolfe0001 I believe Jack (of Jack in the Box fame) asked the question we're all asking today: "What part of the cow is the Angus?" However, marketing the anus burger could be real boon.