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Showing posts from July, 2007

Andy Dick: Murderous Cokehead and Retard

Ten years ago, we were shocked by a murder-suicide that took Phil Hartman. It has emerged that Phil Hartman's wife was re-introduced to cocaine by his then-co-star Andy Dick. I thought that Andy Dick was an annoying and sometimes amusing C-lister. Instead, I have come to the conclusion that he is an idiot: the idiot responsible for the death of Phil Hartman-- responsible as surely as if he had loaded the gun himself. Instead of loading the gun, he loaded the murderer. Will anyone avenge Phil Hartman's murder? It turned out vengeance comes in a dumpy package: According to the New York Post, the animus between Jon Lovitz and Andy Dick, which has its roots in the slaying of Phil Hartman a decade ago, exploded in a fight last week at an L.A. comedy club when Lovitz roughed up Dick. Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada said, " Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose. " Lovitz and Dick reportedl

Welcome to Victoria

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Come to Victoria BC. Did you want to get loaded in our Inner Harbour: booze up, shoot up, take a dump in the water? Victoria has it all! Police aren't a problem-- just cross the Johnson St. Bridge and the police will forget you exist. After all, what do you want to do? Do you want to murder someone? Why not!

The Big 4-0

I am closing in on 40. April 26th, 2008. It's a Saturday. I usually make a small matter of my birthdays. Instead, I want to make a big deal out of this one My plan is start training for it-- like a marathoner or a mountain climber or WC Fields with an Oscar award in one hand and a wad of $20s in the other going into a brothel. I would like this to be a party of epic proportions-- not out of ego, but out of appreciation of the milestone. Unlike my bachelor party, I will not allow anyone to zonk me out in a strip club at 10 PM (Tim....) Here's a weird thing I noticed: people I get along with (with exceptions) all turn 40 on a Saturday. Is this a fluke? Is this evidence that I am too good with math? You be the judge. Wanna compare? Check out time-and-date to see what day of the week you hit the 40 on.

Nothing to see here. Nothing to see

What could go wrong when you set off fireworks? Nothing. Nothing at all.