Join me on Twitter or My site

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Bruce is The Man!

I am compiling a list of people who fit in a category. The Man. Not like the guy that keeps us down, but the guy that gets it done ("You da man!"). These are guys that give great performances, do cool things and generally impress me.

Near the top of that list if Bruce Campbell. He has a few new movies coming out and he is out schlepping for his new book: "Make Love* The Bruce Campbell way"

This Is From The Inside Flap
What you're reading right now is known as the “flap copy.” This is where the 72,444 words of my latest book, Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, are cooked down to fit in a 3 ½-by-9 ½-inch column. But how does one do that with a fictional story about a B movie actor’s disastrous attempt to finally star in a big-budget Hollywood movie? Do you tantalize readers with snappy zingers like the one in chapter six where Biff the Wonder Boy says...

This Will Put A Twitter In Yer Mullet

The new Ford Phallus - Be the envy of framers and yard workers and ex-cons and guys that have knocked up chicks 'round o' the Bingo Palace. Wooo! Wooo! Rock'N'Roll!!!! woo.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

I'm Dying To Try This Out

From and

US scientists have succeeded in reviving the dogs after three hours of clinical death, paving the way for trials on humans within years.

Pittsburgh's Safar Centre for Resuscitation Research has developed a technique in which subject's veins are drained of blood and filled with an ice-cold salt solution.

The animals are considered scientifically dead, as they stop breathing and have no heartbeat or brain activity.

But three hours later, their blood is replaced and the zombie dogs are brought back to life with an electric shock.

More on this... or here

How ICBC Can Make Money & Make The Roads Safer

We are idiots. Cars are sacred cows. If you get charged for assault, you may not be allowed to own a gun ever. If you kill a slough of people with your car, no one would EVER take away your car. True, you may get a suspension for a while. You will not get a lifetime suspension. Lifetime suspensions never happen. We need to tame the people on the road and end the era of using pedestrians as target practice. Money talks. Money can be used to make our roads safer.

Auto insurance can be used to shape society. Just as taxes on cigarettes have curbed some smokers, auto insurance rates can make our roads safer. Here are four ways to use ICBC to reshape our roads.

Odometer based insurance.
The more you drive, the more you should pay. Conversely, the less you drive, the less you should pay. If you are on the road everyday, contributing to gridlock and global warming and putting yourself in harm's way; you should pay for that privilege.
Discount some of the basic rate (like $100/yr). Find out what the median mileage is for motorists. If that's something like 40km/day x 365 days/year (12,000km/yr.) or $1 per 120km. If you drive 600km per year, you save $95. If you drive 24,000km per year, you get dinged for an extra $100. Every time you come in for auto insurance, you announce your odometer reading. The difference is your premium/discount. When you buy a vehicle, you reset your odometer reading for that vehicle. That's a small encouragement to buy a new vehicle.
This will have two other bonus. It will encourage people to drive less and/or locate their work and home closer to one another. You will be reporting a history of odometer readings. That will be connected to the VIN of your vehicle. If it goes down year between a previous and current owner, you will know that someone has cracked the odometer.
Wheel well based insurance. Vehicle size should raise insurance rates geometrically. This is already being done, but the scale needs to be more drastic to impress upon the tank drivers that smaller is better.
Engine capacity factor. Engine sizes in step with their vehicle size would have no penalty (e.g. 6 litre engine on a truck would be without issue). A 5 litre engine in a Mustang is overkill. That extra capacity is meant for one purpose: speeding. It's illegal to speed. It's illegal to crash your vehicle at high speed into a crowd of people. Why isn't there a disincentive to have a large capacity engine?
More classes. Most people drive around with their Class 5. Motorcyclists drive with their Class 6. Let's call sedans the baseline. SUVs and sportscars have qualities that make them unneccessary for day-to-day driving. They also are responsible for a disproportionate percentage of the accicents of the road. With that said, they shouldn't be illegal to own or illegal to drive. Drivers should know how to operate these vehicles. After 1 year of owning a Class 5 capable vehicle and holding a Class 5, you can train up for one of these specialty classes. Owners would have to train with their vehicles if they fall far outside of the sedan baseline: too fast, too big, too small. Maybe wrap up the training with a video of uncensored crash footage to show them what happens when you play "Gone in Sixty Seconds" on my highway. If a parent purchases a vehicle for their child, the child should train on the vehicle and that may be comparably difficult to license every potential person to sit behind the wheel. Nevertheless, with this power, police could pull out drivers at road checks and have them park their car until someone who knows how to drive their car could pick it up. ICBC has the power to do this. A few years ago, they took over the Motor Vehicle department. They can change this in a heartbeat.

Why this won't happen? Go to the legislature and check out the parking lot. They like big cars, fast cars. They like to drive alot. They like to drive poorly. Having the MLAs of BC push for insurance and licensing reform is like having NAMBLA push for a retrial of Michael Jackson.
How to joust at the insurance-licensing windmill? Email a copy of this entry to someone you know. Send it to your MLA. Next time you test drive an SUV, slip a copy of this entry into the glovebox.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Star Wars USB Drives

From the seriously cool/seriously sad category:

Star Wars themed USB drives

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Animal Mows Down Five People In Victoria

Today, a motorist in a red Nissan (BC Licence: 263 N?L) sped off of Pandora Ave and onto Cook Street. He hit a telephone pole, climbed the curb and wiped out five people waiting for a bus. One on-looker saw the car drag a garbage bin, a women and a baby carriage. According to Livejournal posts, he got out and smirked at the carnage he had created. The first guess is that this was a case of street racing.

Here are some interesting links:
All of these pale by comparison to my favorite site: Canada 411

If you want something done about this, make sure that the head of the City of Victoria police board knows your opinion
If you want the new Attorney General, Wally Oppal to earn his pay. Let him know how you feel about this, too.

** Update **
The charges have come down. One charge related to the murder and three charges relating to the other people he maimed. I'm sure they will enjoy him in prison.

Connection. Connection. The murderer in this case was the "victim" in a stabbing. (More on Omar Ali and two other stabbing victims in a TC Story). I have to assume that until he's put away, he's going to be the lightning for a long rod for crime for a long time to come. Speaking of which, pieces of crap used to be run out of town on a rail. Why did we ever abandon that concept?

Video Vigiliante

This is a swell site that exposes criminality in Oklahoma City:

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Happy Father's Day!

If you see Revenge of the Sith this weekend, make sure to ask for your commememorative "Who's Your Daddy?" poster. As I like to tell my daughter: "Even Luke Skywalker has a dad."

Wednesday, June 15, 2005


Golden Cow Awards A medley of cool and disturbing images. NSFW

No Star Wars and No Star Trek Makes Homer Something Something

With the passage of Star Trek and the closure of the Star Wars saga, I've noticed an odd phenomeon: I'm lapsing back to my pre-1977 interests.

Harken back to an unfortunate era in my life. I liked sci-fi, but I loved unexplained phenomeon and crypto-zoology. Bigfoot, UFOs, ghosts, you name it. If only nutbars and retards believed in it, I was on board.

Now I'm drawn to weird conspiracy theories, weird topics, and weird news. I think Star Wars and Star Trek filled the hunger gap for 28 years. Now, I'm gravitating to same old crap again (see? I call it crap and I still follow it). Just wait until 2012. If the end of the Mayan calendar brings about a new epoch, I will loudly say, "Told ya so!" If not, I'll be a tarded 44-year old with a broken Mayan clock radio (lousy Mayan electronics....)

Move Over Sigfired and Roy!

The Prophet Yahweh (link#2) has been able to summon UFOs. Today he had some news for the people of Earth: They're coming. According to the Prophet Yahweh (the prophet of Yahweh) , he will summon UFOs to Las Vegas between July 1st and July 15th of this year. Best of all, he's summoned UFOs before. According to the Prophet, the media won't take him seriously. I don't think it's because of the turban, but the nifty star emblem pin.
This has always been a concept of mine: UFOs have been so discreditted that if they landed in front of the White House would the TV networks cover it?
I bet Bill O'Reilly would called them enemies of the American way and then go back to threatening to smear stuff on women.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005


Build Your Own TARDIS
We have room for this on the deck (hint, hint)
(more on The Doctor...)

BC Ferries Surcharge

This is what I submitted to the BC Ferries Commission:

To whom it may concern,
I would like to lodge an objection to the plans of the BC Ferries proposal to add a fuel surcharge. As a Vancouver Island resident, the BC Ferries service is my chief means to getting off of the island. As it is, the ferry fares are prohibitively expensive. I feel that the short term surcharge will set a precedent. If they are allowed to increase fares because of operating expenses, the BC Ferries Corporation will be encouraged to pass down any change in expenses to the consumer: labour costs, capital improvements, insurance expenses and on and on. If the BC Ferries Corporation failed to plan for variable expenses in their business model, that is a failing that their customers should not have to deal with.
I object to their "carrot-and-a-stick" approach of giving us the alternative of slowing the ferries to conserve fuel. I ask that the BC Ferries commission hold the BC Ferries Corporation to their obligations. At the very least, if the BC Ferries commission elects to allow the BC Ferries Corporation to increase sailing times, I ask that you do not allow them reduce the number of sailings that are held over the course of a day. For example, if BC Ferries wishes to add 30 min. to their Tsawwassen/Swartz Bay run; and their 13 sailings each way occur between 14 hr, 7am and 9pm; the BC Ferries Corporation would need to add 6.5 hrs to their daily duration of service. The commission cannot allow to BC Ferries to reduce the overall number of sailings. Since the BC Ferries Corporation management was privatized, I have seen an overall drop in the quality of service, chiefly an increased likelihood of sailing waits. If their scheme to slow travel times results in the reduced number of sailings, this will aggravate this problem further.
I ask that this email be included as a formal objection to the proposed fuel surcharge. If the body of this message needs to be re-presented in another format (letter by mail, fax submission, etc.) I would be pleased to supply that to the commission.
Thank you,

My solution: go to Coca-Cola and beg them for more money. Lord knows they take enough of my money as it is.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Cue The Imperial March...

Paul Wolfowitz, new president of the World Bank has gone to Nigeria

A Friend of a Friend Told Me...

This was a messed up concept that a friend of a friend got obsessed over. Geologists have drilled to Hell:

At a place in Siberia called, "Ammennusatia." I haven't been able to find out where it is geographically, but I have to wonder if it's anywhere near Tunguska. If so, that's a tonne of fodder for sci-fi/fantasy stories.

Here's my 5 second contemporary fantasy concept (I think Rush Limbaugh would like this):
1908: a creature bursts from the bowels of the Earth and is born into the ruined wilderness near Tunguska. The Russian Revolution has been mired and rudderless. A few years later, the Lena Goldfield Massacre occurs. Rasputin rises to prominence. Great War flares. The Soviet Union is born (these guys love red... just like the devil... hmmm....). All of these events happen just so many years after the Tunguska explosion. Think of it as a retro-X-Files/Cthuhloid/Exorcist/Commie bashing tale of the supernatural and conspiracy theories.

Oohh.... (spooky music would go here).

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Weasel Hides From The Light of Day

Two related stories:
BC Member of Parliment Takes Stress Leave (from the "Can't Handle The Heat..." category)
Tries To Pass Off A Package to an Unsuspecting Passenger (What was in the package? No one can confirm its contents nor the identity and whereabouts of the eventual courier)

Infamy doesn't have its privileges. This is the last line from the second report:
"Sources say that Mr. Grewal's privileges in the Maple Leaf lounge have been suspended."
Tee hee.

Monday, June 06, 2005


I may put off that cruise for a little while :

At least 12 passengers have gone overboard or disappeared since 2000, including five on Carnival Cruise Lines ships within the past 12 months. Some are suicides, others accidents, and at least one incident suggests the possibility of foul play. One was lost coming into Jacksonville last Thanksgiving, a new port for cruise embarkation.

Many incidents are completely unexplained, including one man who survived by swimming 17 hours until being spotted by a cargo ship. He awoke in pitch-black sea with no shoes, no pants, no ship, and no explanation for how he ended up in the water during a voyage to Cozumel, Mexico.

Workbench article

Friday, June 03, 2005

Contact me!