Bell Has 1.3 Miillion Reasons To Stop Annoying You

I quit Bell Mobility a few years ago. Their service was lousy. Their customer service moreso. Several months ago, I started getting calls from Bell asking me to come back in some nearly indecipherable gibberish shipped via cheap VOIP from somewhere where the labour is even more cheap. This last week Solo started too. As it's also a Bell outfit, it's no surprise. I am close to ditching Virgin solely because of their close ties with Bell. Today, it was announced that Bell Mobility got slapped with a $1.3 million fine for their spamming practices. That doesn't mean they will stop, it just means they will try a newer and more slimy approach to get you to pay them money-- note "pay them money" not "use their services." You'll definitely pay, but you may get one successful call through their wireless tin-can network.
With the endless spam calls, I tried various strategies. The Do-Not-Call list does nothing. These calls are coming from an area that is outside of the Canadian jurisdiction.
I did the hang-ups. No dice.
I told them to send me the deal in writing. They can't give it to me in writing, they can only give it to me through their monthly billing.
I said that I had a lot of problems with Bell in the past and asked if they fixed the list of problems. They said they did. I asked when. They said, "oh last week, sir." I asked why they left things busted for so long. They didn't have a response for that.
More recently, I tried gibberish-- a total mish-mash of words. That got them to hang up, but they kept calling. Likely they enjoyed the symmetry of their gibberish being greeted with my gibberish.
Last time, I tried to convince them to change over. I said, "you should give up and switch to Rogers. What can I do to get you to swap over today?"
When DirectBuy spammed me with call after call, I tried telling them that Mike DeWolfe was dead. That didn't stop them-- likely it emboldened them to get the Widow DeWolfe to buy their crappy fridges.
What I did with DirectBuy: I wormed the full name out of one of the spammers. After the call, I found their home number in the phone book. I called them and made a sales pitch. Ask them to call back soon and I will be talking with them quite a lot (implied creepiness). After that, I was off the Direct Buy phone list. Ta da!
When Bell calls next, I'll likely do the "what are you wearing?" approach to see if they stop calling. I won't make it sexual or perverse-- just an intense attempt to inventory everything they have on their person. If they don't want to disclose that, I'll help them out and list everything I'm wearing in careful and long detail.

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