Careful: You're So Stupid and Incompetant, You'll Kill Your Daughter

Turn, Daddy! My quality of life is poor: I have food, clothing, shelter and a good paying job. I also have a steadily rising set of demands from all corners. So, while people go out and do interesting things with their free time, instead I suffer. My co-workers will say, "aren't you supposed to be off today?" What can I say: misery without accomplishing goals is a living death. So I might as well be working.
Today, I took the day off and promised to take my daughter kayaking. Ooh! The danger. Climb into the kayak, paddle around an area that is devoid of everything except for two inner harbour ferries and the odd kayak. A whole slough of people were in a state of panic that I would take my daughter out to paddle around. They were waiting for post-kayaking calls to assauge their terror.
I haven't killed anyone, lost a limb, set a house on fire. I have the same number of daughters I started out with. I haven't raised a gimp. My bills get paid.
I have to assume that this perpetual state of doubt and fear is because people think I'm a idiot-- a five fingered Homer Simpson. It also helps to leave me in a state of self-discount that drives perpetual anxiety.
So, is the problem that I have an excess of toxic people? Maybe I need a sort of dialysis.

Comments

Ted Godwin said…
Sweet Jesus who the f#@& are you talking to?

I know some of what you mean as from somewhere I keep getting the feeling that if I am not creating exciting and educational adventures for the kids every week I am a failure. Luckily I don't have anyone actually saying these things to me outright.

Of course I did get sucked into doing cubs for another year but it is actually starting to be a little bit fun for me too.
Falcona said…
You're more likely to kill your daughter by driving a car than taking her Kayaking. People get too wound up.

Popular posts from this blog

Why Etsy Sucks

John Anthony Bailey: The Sad Descent from "Sticks" to Dicks

April Fools