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Saturday, June 30, 2007

John Anthony Bailey: The Sad Descent from "Sticks" to Dicks

I was cruising around a great site for the Gen-X set: www.70slivekidvid.com and I came across the "Wonderbug" entry. I looked at the cast and one of the cast stuck out, "John Anthony Bailey." I dug via IMDB and found that his early career was kind of noteworthy: he was "Sticks" the black friend in Happy Days; he was on Mannix; he did his stint on Wonderbug. Then where he go? Straight to porn and stayed there until his death in 1994.
  1. Black Gang Bangers (1994) (V)
  2. Black Gang Bangers 2 (1994) (V)
  3. Truck Stop Angel (1994) (V)
  4. Slut Safari 2 (1994) (V)
  5. Big Bust Babes 20 (1994) (V)
  6. Slut Safari 3 (1994) (V)
  7. Slut Safari (1994) (V)
  8. Rump-Shaker 2 (1993) (V)
  9. Black Babes in Heat (1993) (V)
  10. Black Beauties 2 (1992) (V)
  11. Boomerwang (1992) (V)
  12. Only the Very Best on Video (1992) (V) .... NonSex
  13. New Wave Hookers 2 (1991) (V) .... Willie
  14. Pretty Peaches 3: The Quest (1990) (V) .... Jack
  15. Bend Over Babes (1990) (V)
    ... aka Bend Over Babes: Buttman on the Prowl (USA)
    ... aka Buttman on the Prowl (USA)
  16. Aussie Exchange Girls (1990) (V)
  17. Cheeks 2: The Bitter End (1989) (V)
  18. Space Cadet (1989)
  19. Backdoor Bonanza 9 (1989) (V) .... NonSex
  20. Bare Essence (1989) .... Al
  21. Date with the Devil (1989) (V)
  22. Blacks & Blondes: The Movie (1989)
  23. Legend of Reggie D. (1989)
  24. Wild Women 32: Summer Rose (1989) (V)
  25. Dance Fire (1989) (V)
  26. To the Top: The Nicole Stanton Story Part Two (1989) (V) .... Childs
  27. Great Balls on Fire (1989)
  28. Inches for Keisha (1988) (V) .... NonSex
  29. The Nicole Stanton Story (1988) (V) .... NonSex
  30. The Final Taboo (1988) .... Sally
  31. Orgies (1987)
  32. Toys 4 Us 2 (1987)
  33. Chocolate Dreams (1987)
  34. Debbie Duz Dishes III (1987) .... Driver
  35. Afro Erotica 15 (1987)
  36. Dr. Blacklove (1987)
  37. Afro Erotica 13 (1987) (V)
  38. Little Bit o' Honey (1987)
  39. Flesh for Fantasies (1987) (V)
  40. The Adventures of Dick Black, the Black Dick (1987) (V)
    ... aka Adventures of Dick Black
  41. The Color Black (1986)
  42. The Devil in Miss Jones 3: A New Beginning (1986) .... Guide through Hell
  43. Hotel California (1986) .... Hank the bellhop
  44. Return to Sex 5th Avenue (1986)
  45. Sex Beat (1986)
  46. Living Doll (1986)
  47. Devil in Miss Jones 4: The Final Outrage (1986) .... Guide through Hell
  48. Farmer's Daughters (1986)
  49. In Search of the Perfect 10 (1986) (as John Anthony Bailey) .... Dr. Titzling
  50. Thrill Street Blues (1986)
  51. Forbidden Bodies (1986) .... Jack
  52. House of Blue Dreams (1986) .... NonSex
  53. Showgirls (1985)
  54. Tracy in Heaven (1985) (V) .... Hollywood Bob
  55. New Wave Hookers (1985) .... Jamal
  56. Black Throat (1985) (V) .... Jamal, the pimp
  57. Sex Fifth Avenue (1985) (V) .... Butler
  58. Night of the Headhunter (1985) .... Willie
  59. Between the Cheeks (1985)
  60. Hot Chocolate (1984)
  61. Let Me Tell Ya 'Bout White Chicks (1984)
  62. Chocolate Candy (1984)

It seems like kid's TV wasn't a happy affair. Judy Strangis (the Dyna Girl of Electra Womand and Dyna Girl) had to give up acting because she was being stalked. Of course, looking at her filmography, I think the real problem was that she wasn't be stalked by producers.

Now, I have to dig through the other biographies of former stars in kid's shows. I have a sinking feeling that many of them turned to video porn after their kid's shows went off the air (I'm looking your direction, Bob Denver).

Monday, June 11, 2007

Oh, Coffee: Thee Muncheth Cock

An ode to the lack of coffee:

For a long while I have been convinced that coffee was doing me harm. I have drank coffee off and on from when I was in my teens until 11 years ago when it became a daily ritual. Concurrent with that ritual, I have had lots of jitters and anxiety. LOTS.

About three years ago I tried to stop coffee. I went cold turkey. At the end of the first day, I had a headache. On the second day, my heart was pounding and I was dizzy. I was in the throes of chemical addiction withdrawal, period. By the fourth day, I was sure I was dying and I rolled the dice that I wasn't dying. I got a coffee and in 30 minutes I was feeling a whole lot better. I put the yoke back on and continued my coffee drinking ways.

I knew that coffee was toxic stuff: it tasted good, but it was bad. It wasn't a crutch to let me work long hours-- in fact, I used to sleep less when I had less coffee. About a month ago, I started the process again. I went from a pot of coffee a day on some days down to one mug. Then I missed the odd day here and there and weathered the odd headache (well, the odd headache on top of my daily headache from my blood pressure medication). By Thursday, my body knew the jig was up: I wasn't missing the odd day, I was intent on kicking it. In the last week or two, every day that I missed my coffee, my body acted up with palpitations and headaches and general ennui.

Friday was the sign-off. I had a nice mug of coffee. I was going to go a couple of days sans coffee.
On Saturday I was coping, then I had a crash ca. 10:30-- palpitations, dizzyness, headache, bad vision and confusion. It passed. I was a surprised that it passed and it did. A couple hours I got a repeat. When we got home, I crawled into bed and vegged out.
Sunday was an okay day: no coffee, a tinge of headache and disorientation. Later I got some nausea and dry mouth, but not too bad.
Monday: I ventured a mug of coffee. The idea isn't a relapse, but a controlled fall with the odd ledge to break my fall. As I write this, I have jitters. The coffee has ravaged my digestive system. I feel argumentative and short-tempered. In hindsight: this was all commonplace on any day that I had a mug of coffee.

Maybe there it a how-to article in this: "How to drop Starbucks from your life."

Coffee: you suck it.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

In Case of Stairs, Use Fire


Check out how you can share this pithy graphic with others. Click here. No, no, back there.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Fabulous!

Fabulous!
I want to let you in on a lesser secret: my wife and I are trying to be fabulous! Not fabulous. Fabulous!!!! We don't need to be famous. I don't need to be the head of Google. We think we want a fabulous lifestyle. "Think"? As we close in on this concept, I looked up to the sky thought about the clouds. Wispy, maybe a kilometer across or more and able to blot sunlight from the land. Up close: they are almost invisible-- just vapour with more moisture. Perspective-- distance-- gives clouds their condensed and weighty appearance. Up close, what does Fabulous look like. As we close in on Fabulous, I would what it could look like.
My general plan: get Operation Fabulous off and running: something technically manageable but may require some work and effort (fun, fabulous work). The details I cannot share at this time apart from what we've already alluded to. If all goes well, in about 18 months I will likely post another rant on the other side of the singularity and hang a big "Mission Accomplished" banner somewhere. As for the logistics of Fabulous, Wifey and maybe my Mom and other people we trust would help us. I would likely continue to work. I am okay with working. I know that won't sound like the biggest dose of enthusiasm that my bosses would like to hear, but take work (a four-letter word) and add the most important job I could imagine me capable of and the end result is: "I am okay with working." If I do everything right, a chimpanzee and three trainees can do my job and then I maybe contemplate moving on. What programmers don't want: they don't want their job to be done so well that you no longer need them. I guess I'm not a programmer then. I'm a jackass with a computer. I want a computer system to be so intuitive that you don't need a degree-- even a fake degree. I want to do for web development what desktop publishing did for layout work.

So back to the question: what does a day in the life of the Fabulous look like? My Mom is going to officially retire soon (after a couple years of severance and EI). My father-in-law retired a few years ago (largely because of health). If we become Fabulous, what will our days look like? My Mom says she "putters" (WTF?). My father-in-law is locked in a life-and-death struggle with posting material online. What? Where? I think I don't want to know. He is also wracked with back-pain, so for him retirement is a neccessity, not a reward. My buddy, Keith, is on a pension and in his 40s. For him, life is Tim Horton's, PS2, hanging out with his buddies and occassionally scoring with chicks who end up getting more than a double-double. Three images of life-after-work and I don't know if I want any of them.

Would I go out for a nice lunch everyday? Yeah, like my stomach needs more restaurant food.
Would I help the needy? First question, would they forgive me for hurling insults at them?
Would I go buy a house and renovate it? Yeah: I've seen better houses after Katrina.
Would I be the guy always willing to help with a move? I am already. I'm a moving chump. Note the "U".
Would I write? Never the problem. Would anyone ever read it? That's the problem.
Would I get into trouble? Likely and that would be the most rewarding possibility. Giant sculptures of Gordon Campbell driving drunk into a schoolyard at recess. A ten part video series entitled, "Lunch While Wearing A Wrestling Mask." Joining the PTA. All dangerous stuff.

On Star Trek, Kirk seemed to beam down to planets locked in utopian bliss and wreck their society (like every second week). His excuse: "People aren't meant to be happy." My retort: "Screw off. Didn't you see that Spock could be giving Jill Ireland the business, right now."

People are meant to be happy. I know a couple people who are meant to be... Fabulous!

Friday, June 01, 2007

We've Found Shark Boy... Next, Lava Girl

Humans and sharks have characteristics and genes in common, including reproductive features, and their immune systems. This from The South's ABC:

Some 450 million years ago, sharks and humans shared a common ancestor, making sharks our distant cousins.

And according to recent research, this kinship is evident in our DNA, as at least one shark species possesses several genes that are nearly identical to those in humans.

The elephant shark's genome is so similar to ours that we wind up having more in common with it, genetically speaking, than with other species, such as teleost (bony skeleton) fishes, which are nearer to us on the evolutionary tree.

"This was a surprising finding, since teleost fish and humans are more closely related than the elephant shark is to humans," says lead author Associate Professor Byrappa Venkatesh.

Read on...


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