Vacation: Day 0: Christmas: Day Negative 8

Here's the theme. There are 12 days of Christmas (I am off for most of them), but I am on vacation, so right now I'm in a period of negative days of Christmas. In the spirit of being negative, here's a something I like to call:

On the Negative Eighth Day of Christmas, my true love witnessed me:
Press my scrotum to the window of the Simply The Best store!

This guy was a weasel who screwed me out of a lot of web design work. It wasn't me: he screws everyone.

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