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Showing posts from August, 2009

Monday night: Chek off

Monday night, Victoria's oldest TV station will go dark. Chek-TV has been around for 53 years. It played host to decades of Ida Clarkson. Bruce Kirkpatrick's annoying slice-of-life profiles on cutesy stories. Worst of all: Gordie Tupper (or Tucker-- I don't care). Chek-Around was a show Tupper hosted for some time. How would get on that show? Usually, you'd pay. You'd call them and say you had something interesting to say: if your venture was commercial, they'd hand you a rate card. Pay up and you're interesting. This guy was reknowned for doing only one take: the producer or cameraman would ask to do a second shot or one for safety; confident Tupper would refuse. I was having really mixed feelings about the decline and fall of Chek-TV until last week: they had done a smarmy piece about their efforts to keep the station alive. For the last month, Chek-TV has done a lot of coverage of themselves. They broke from the news and went into ads. Gordie was huckste…

VIHA and the Obvious

Here is the "latest" FAQ from VIHA:

What is the H1N1 flu (Swine Flu)?
The H1N1 influenza virus (swine flu) is a virus that causes respiratory disease in pigs. It may also make people sick. Symptoms are similar to the common flu and may include fever, cough, headache, general aches and fatigue. Some people have also reported runny nose, sore throat, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. In BC, patients with H1N1 flu have had symptoms similar to the seasonal flu.

How is the H1N1 flu spread?
The flu is caused by viruses, and is generally spread when an infected person coughs or sneezes. The virus in the cough/sneeze droplets can be passed to the next person by landing on them or on hard surfaces like counters and doorknobs, where it can be picked up on hands and transmitted to the respiratory system by touching the mouth and/or nose. This is why it is really important to wash your hands frequently.

What do I do if I think I am sick with the H1N1 flu?
Panic! If you have a fever or cough, reg…

Launch Tubes Are Supposedly Not Cool

When I was a kid, I watched all sorts of crappy TV. At drama class, the kids talked about how much TV they used to watch in a week: "none", "two hours", "five hours". I sat there, doing math on my chubby fingers and said, "40-50 hours" Everyone's jaws dropped. Well, screw you, you wouldbe mimes and interpretive dance performers!

Of the many things that stuck with me was the crappy show, UFO. I used to get gunned when the team would get into their ships by lifting themselves into these tubes shooting themselves feet first into their launch vehicles. It was all a source of excitement: they're getting into tubes, they're going into vehicles-- it was awesome for a six-year old. I was floating home renovation ideas to the Wife. Because we have a peculiar shaped house, we have some odd dimensions to contend with. I suggested that have access from the proposed new workshop into the basement via "one of those launch tubes like in UFO.&q…

The News-- Gone Horribly Wrong

I like these, the dialogue/editorial is NSFW, though:

8 Local News Segments Gone Horribly Wrong -- powered by Cracked.com

Why Isn't Thrifty's Corny?

Back on Earth Day, Thrifty Foods announced it was discontinuing its use of plastic bags. It felt like greenwashing and I was skeptical. Plastic bags are made from petroleum by-products. They don't use oil-- they use the discards from the oil refining process. For the last couple years, plastic bags have been on par with devil worship or kitten juggling. Most people use plastic bags multiple times. While they are demonizing bags, SUVs are causing masses of pollution. All of the work re-road to accommodate traffic crippling and bicycles consumes massive amounts of asphalt made with (you guessed it), petroleum products. But let's pick on the plastic bags.
Thrifty's began selling durable plastic bags for less than $1 per. While the hated plastic bags occupy almost no volume and will eventually breakdown into general filth, these durable bags are built to last. Once they get into the landfill, they're going to be there, dotting the rubbish for years.
A few weeks ago, Thrifty&…

Photoshoot Gone Awry

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Photoshoot photo
Originally uploaded by dewolfe0001 We went to friend's birthday party on this secluded beach in Gordon Head. It was nice and it was hard to get to. We noticed a couple of people tinkering with photographic equipment. Later the guy set-up more elaborate equipment and the girl stripped down to a bikini. He started to take photos despite the number of families in our cluster. A short time later, a couple of surfer types showed up to skid around in the shallow waters. I thought, "Hey-- they shooting the cover for a porn video." I had other ideas that went through my head: "that guy doesn't have any film!" and "Geez-- I can't believe I got a girl to take her clothes off!" and "golly-- I thought no one would show up here,"
Twenty minutes later, a bunch of party monkeys showed up to drink and smoke up. One of them stripped off his top and and mugged for a photo with the girl in the bikini. Poor photographer dude: he totally pw…

Science World: Avoid It

Science World hit its pinnacle after the National Socialist Credit Party (aka the Liberal prequel) spawned Expo 86. Since then, the quaint 1980s interactive science exhibit has aged. Many of the exhibits are broken or non-functional. Now the Telus World of Science has become very expensive and largely run by volunteers of varying capacities. One of those volunteers humiliated a woman who was breastfeeding her child while her other child was playing in one of the functional exhibits. In response to the conduct of the volunteer (who is getting paid what he is worth), Science World has rewritten its orientation policy for volunteer staff members. The volunteer told her that breastfeeding her newborn baby on site was "immoral." I love the idea of calling breastfeeding immoral. I'm sure this spastic either feels dirty when he pees; or feels shame at what his mother laughingly called his "nub."
The irony of this incident is still to come: breastfeeding activists are p…

Chubby Man Thrown out of Tim Horton's : Film at 11

Last night I was at the Tim Horton's in Esquimalt. All Tim Horton's are refuges of the damned: deep fried dough, black bile that a double-double can never fix, and some of the stupidest people alive behind the till. No? I can't how many times I ordered a tea with sugar only to receive a double-double coffee. Little Esquimalt has two Timmy's:
Little Timmy's: where drug addicts shoot up, so they have to lock the bathrooms and close early.
Big Timmy's: where people go to sober up after the Carlton Club. The local hero is a Doug: a pimp who recruits girls from the popular smoking side of the donut shop.
My friend loves Timmy's coffee. I think it's swill. While I continue to go there to allow him to get his coffee, we now depart and go to Serious Coffee or settle for a Starbucks so that I can get coffee. Last night we did this and travelled around town. Later, my friend wanted another Timmy's. We went back to the Sarlac pit in Esquimalt. I bought my friend …

The Amazing Diet-Ray!

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min_and_max
Originally uploaded by triviaqueen I like using them to sell my miracle "Diet-Ray": I put Minnie in a box. Then I huckster to the yokels. I heft Max around and say that with my Diet-Ray I can restore his youth and lower his weight. Then I put him in the box with Minne, turn on the Diet-Ray and lift out Minnie to the amazement of the crowds.