The Obvious

I have a friend who tries to be authoritative. He's also a little dim-- the worst kind of dim: the type he doesn't know he's a little dim. How does he exert his intellect? He tells you do the only thing possible; or he tells to do what you're already doing:
I get up from the table. He says, "Get up."
I'm about to reach for my coffee. He says, "That's your coffee."
I driving down the road. He says, "Drive the van."
Really?

There are two things going on. First, it seems like this guy is stuck with someone who doesn't know when to stand up or breath; he's a lifesaver. Second, he's speaking with authority so whatever he says, no matter how obvious or pointless, it seems necessary.

I have Obvious People in several parts of my life. I'm happy that I'm able to keep them all so busy tripping over the Obvious.

[Extra capitalization and punctuation gaffes were implanted so that the Obvious People could exercise their "BLOODY OBVIOUS" muscles.]

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