Happy Earth Day!

On this Earth Day with the Inconvenient Truth before us and ice melting and all the plagues unleashed upon the Earth, Starbucks did something nice. They offered free coffee for people who showed up with their own mugs. Aw.... In the two stores I went to, most of the A-Holes in the line-ups didn't bring their own mugs. They just wanted to have paper fills with coffee.

Earth Day, like Christmas, is the one day you can act totally different and feel good on the remainder of the days for having done so. Not me. I made a point of driving to as many Starbucks as I could to get free coffee. If I could have left the car idling, I would done so. It's not that I hate the environment: I hate Starbucks (though I seem to love their coffee). Also, I hate all of the arbitrary ways that we are a working for a better planet. Here are my ways to help the Earth:
Download music. CDs are toxic. Shipping them is causing an onslaught of greenhouse gases. Shift the model to downloads for money. Better yet, let piracy run rampant: does Britney Spears or Fifty Cent (Fidy Cnt?) need more money?
Make primetime two hours long. TV is gasping for life. Cut out 1/3 of the schedule and only the fit will survive. Which do you think came first: 11PM bedtime or wrapping up primetime when everyone goes to bed? If TV switched back to news and re-runs at 10PM, alot of people may turn out the lights and call it a night.
Screw (more) with Daylight Savings. Bush has proven that you can screw up everyone with the stroke of a pen. I'd say shuffle things so that sunset on December 21st is at 7PM; and 8PM on June 21st. Go to work in the dark in the Winter, but your leisure time will occur in daylight. Time is arbitrary so why not?
Outlaw SUVs and sportcars. You can't outlaw them, but how about a formula that is tied to the stated MPG? 25MPG: 75% tax. 100MPG: 0% tax. Those A-holes can pay for it. If not, there will be less vehicular homicide.

If Starbucks wanted to send a loud-and-clear message they could flip this the other way. Earth Day is the day they will make no money off of their coffee. If you show up with a refillable mug, you get free coffee. If you don't have a mug, NO COFFEE FOR YOU. Starbucks has these idiots strung out on coffee, it's time to make the monkeys dance.


Cheryl said…
I like the no mug, no coffee option.

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