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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I dare you

I think Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton are trying to outdo one another. They keep upping the ante, doing something that the other one will not. Who's winning this one-up-man's-ship?

DareBritney Spears Lindsay LohanParis Hilton
Homemade Porn
?
?
Pantiless Partying
Herpes Medication
?
?
Quickie Hush-Hush Abortion
?
?
?
Vogue Parenting
Rehab
?
Marrying a wigger
Sobriety Coach
?
Public Display of Racism
?
Shaving your head
Totals (out of 10)
6 3 4

You know what this means, Lindsay: you're falling behind. Better catch up by popping out a kid or voice some good rant about Asians.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Connect The Dots: Internet Style

So, I've signed up for Squidoo-- the latest in a spate of Web 2.0 children of Geocities-type-sites.

What did I have to rattle on about:

Mike DeWolfe - My hub of information.
Video Help - Since getting Adobe Premiere Elements, I've been having great fun building videos and posting them on Youtube. I thought I could share some of the stuff I've picked up, like chroma keys, cuts and dissolves and timing.
Cramped Chef - I cook and I like the rattle on about how I make what I make.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Fire On Babylon Five


I decided to re-do a video I did for the Sinnead O'Connor song, Fire on Babylon to the images from Babylon 5. Did you know that later this year, there will be new Babylon 5 available? Babylon 5: The Lost Tales.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Cue "Baby Elephant Walk..."

Mark Coreth came back from Africa and built a lifesize African bull elephant.
(whine)
From an armature, he built up chicken wire mesh, then a used polystyrene (e.g. Great Stuff foam) to build up its bulk, then coated it in plaster.
(whimper)
He now intends on selling it and has received bids in excess of $500k (Cdn.). This is dangerous for me, because I would do a sculpture like this, waterproof it and thread a garden hose up through the trunk, plug in another hose to the end that extends out the footer and-- voila!-- you have a lawn ornament that can spray into the air on command. Man... I'm only I could spend all my time sculpting... This has inspired me to pull out all of my bits of stuff (wood, chicken wire, etc.) and maybe turn into a single piece of work to accrete my clutter and have something to show for it.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sorry, Bubblés


There was this huge controversy started by Michael Bublé, a "singer" who hailed once from Victoria BC. He was nominated for a Grammy up against others like Tony Bennett. Buble was insulted that the award category would be announced before the TV broadcast of the show. He was ready to boycott it. I know how he feels: when Brad Pitt and I were in the running for sexiest man alive, I was angered that they wouldn't publish my picture and People magazine forced me to write my name into the margins of each of the copies of their magazine. The nerve.
Bubbles-- err-- Buble should have been thrilled to be nominated. He also should have taken a cue from his fellow nominees and showed a little grace.

And the winner is...

Field 3 — Traditional Pop

Category 14

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
(For albums containing 51% or more playing time of VOCAL tracks.)

  • Duets: An American Classic
    Tony Bennett
    [RPM Records/Columbia]


  • Caught In The Act
    Michael Bublé
    [143-Reprise]

  • Wintersong
    Sarah McLachlan
    [Arista Records/Nettwerk]

  • Bette Midler Sings The Peggy Lee Songbook
    Bette Midler
    [Columbia]

  • Timeless Love
    Smokey Robinson
    [New Door Records]

Friday, February 09, 2007

Bad drivers

In Victoria, all of this bad driving is called "Oak Bay style"

We don't want *you* to end breast cancer.

I'm tired of the giant marketing engine behind breast cancer. Every ad break on TV has a breast cancer ad. There are christmas ornaments. Most foods sport a pink ribbon. When Trojan comes out with their pink ribbon condoms, I will have to buy a box. Breast Cancer is a growth industry: they have no shortage of job openings. While most charities are going hat in hand to keep their doors open, the Breast Cancer-Charity complex is expanding in all directions. Do they want to end breast cancer? How much of the your donation is getting into research and treatment? Good question. Their FAQ largely covers payment concerns and questions about the bi-daily walks to end cancer. Are they so awash in money that they can fund research and their hydra-like fund raising efforts? Putting those little pink ribbons on your ravioli and pet food and novelty playing cards costs money: the company has to kick back money to the Breast Cancer-Charity complex and that where they get to cash in big-time.

Breast cancer hits approximately 110 out of 100,000 people per year.
Prostate cancer hits approximately 120 out of 100,000 people per year.

There are big causes to cancer, but clipping these factors will hinder fund raising opportunities:
  • Air pollution from cars. The upswing in Breast Cancer numbers co-incides with the upswing in traffic density. That pollution is way more damaging than cigarette smoke but try assailing Big Oil.
  • Electrification. Take me out of the microwave, I'm done. Everywhere turn, we are faced with electrical devices and EM generating devices and many of these are keep up a perpetual wireless chatter. Electrical devices use up so much power because they bleed out so much power in unintended directions. When power moves from a generator to your home, upto 2/3 of that power gets lost en route. Some of that is expressed as heat, the rest of that renegade electricity is pelting the world around us. Cancer needs a catalyst to develop: all of this lost electricity is ideal.
  • Oral Contraceptions. The Pill sparked the Sexual Revolution caused an onslaught of hormonal changes that increased the likelihood of Breast Cancer (and ovarian and cervical cancer). Working from 1977 forward, the number of cases of breast cancer has climbed each year.
  • Longevity. People are living longer which means you're playing more games of Russian Roulette. The likelihood of prostate cancer and the longevity of men have crossed: if you live long enough, you will get prostate cancer.
So, why I am so angry about the Breast Cancer-Charity complex? It turns out they only want some people's money. This from CKNW:
Exotic dancers in Vancouver are optimistic they will find a charity to accept their fundraising dollars.
The dancers raised $3,000 for the Breast Cancer Society of Canada last year through an annual fundraising event.
But this year the Society has turned down their donation, saying some major donors don't want to be associated with exotic dancing.
But after CKNW aired the story, several agencies have stepped forward ready to accept the donation, and dancer organizer Trina Ricketts says she's encouraged, "We've had a few different people e-mail to say they'd be willing to accept our donation and we're going to make a decision collectively, based on how our money could impact those organizations."
The dancers' charity event takes place on March 4th at the Drake Showlounge in Vancouver.
It takes a savvy business mind to turn down $3000 if that money jeopadizes a million dollars from some well-heeled bank.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

We are family

What if we set course for the Island of Doctor Moreau? Artist Patricia Piccinini depicts that destination with a dog/human hybrid in her piece, "We Are Family." These and other figures were made with silicone, fibreglass, leather and studs. She has a spate of shows that run the range from industrial design to post human creatures. Wild stuff.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Blame Dad



We've opened a new Cafepress shop to schill our creative ventures. First up! Trucker hats and bumper stickers: one for 1-800-Blame-Mom and one for 1-800-Blame-Dad. C'mon! You know you want one!

Stay tuned for more wackiness from those Crazy DeWolfes!

By the way, if you want to see what really bad drivers behave like: Check here

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Victoria: You step in it and then scrape it off of your shoe.

I pulled the following off of the Vibrant Victoria forum. This comes as the third act of life in Victoria. Act One: crippling high cost-of-living and housing prices-- the 13th highest in the world. Gordon Campbell's goons in the Liberal government has done a crypto anti-downloading by handling out huge assessment spikes so that municipal governments can tax homeowners that much more rather than go hat-in-hand to the provincial government. What do we get for the third act of life in Victoria? Shit. Literally.
Thank you liberal government policies, thank you. We have now entered the days of law-abiding citizens being second in line to notorious law-breaking citizens. For the latter are sick and should be cared for not punished by the man for their repetitive wrongdoings.


It’s time to take back our streets
Pack of hardcore drug users making Cormorant Street neighbourhood unlivable
BY STEWART JOHNSTON
This is a copy of a letter distributed by lawyer Stewart Johnston, who has a law office on Cormorant Street.

Today, I stepped in a turd. What made it all the more disgusting was that this was not a dog turd, but a big human turd. Going out the back door of my office, after shooing away the junkie rooting for bottles in my locked recycled-paper bin, I stepped in it.

As I cleaned this revolting mess off my shoe, wondering what exotic diseases it contained, I questioned my move to the Cormorant Street neighbourhood. I also thought of my conversation with my next-door neighbour who, as he picked up human feces and other trash deposited by the lawless band of junkies, asked, “For this I went to medical school?”

He and I looked around at the high barbed-wire fences sprouting up in our heritage-zoned neighbourhood and shared the thought that it would be sad to have to fence in our beautiful old brick houses.

My residential neighbour came by today to warn my staff to be cautious throwing out the garbage and shredded paper because she had seen the junkies poking something into the handles of the bins.

The junkies party on my back doorstep each night, chipping out the bricks, digging up the flowerbed, and depositing their needles. My neighbour phoned the police twice last night.

On her suggestion, I have removed the light bulb from my back door in hope that they will find a source of light elsewhere to aid in their search for veins.

There is a serious health issue here. Human feces and used syringes can be dangerous to those coming into contact with them. It is at least a hundred years since we stopped dumping our chamber pots in the streets.

Is Victoria reverting to this quaint old custom which led to gentlemen walking on the outside of the sidewalk to spare their ladies? Vancouver Island Health Authority is funding the needle exchange for valid health reasons. What about the effluent that flows from its users?

My truck has been vandalized twice in broad daylight while parked behind my office — once by the insertion of a hypodermic needle in the sidewall of the tire, ruining the tire. On phoning the police it was suggested I park elsewhere.

I complained about the needles and trash to city councillors, one of whom told me I was “not following the proper protocol for safe disposal of syringes.”

Why will the city officials do nothing about this? Why can my neighbours and I not have the protection of property, health and safety other citizens of this community take for granted?

Instead, the mayor and council say they are powerless, that it is a social problem, or that the senior governments should fund the solution.

Yes, the province and the feds have offloaded the problem and should fund the solution, but so should the city act on it. It is this same attitude that brings about penalties for the victims of graffiti instead of increased efforts to eliminate vandalism.

Our downtown is sadly demonstrating the decay that results from the abuses of a few outweighing the rights of the rest of us to live in a safe and healthy city. It is costing us tourists, conventioneers and shoppers.

I have publicly pointed this out as chairman of both Tourism Victoria and the Greater Victoria Harbour Authority. I have also advocated the need for treatment programs, facilities and shelters and I continue to do so.

The problem I am experiencing in the Cormorant Street neighbourhood is not with the homeless. I have gotten to know my homeless neighbours. I greet J. who lives in the alley and is trying to get his life back on track; I chat with D. who has HIV and lacks the energy to hold down a job just as I greet and visit with my neighbours on the street where I live.

They cause me no harm. I am saddened by their plight and heartened by their brave attitude.

The problem is the pack of 45 hardcore intravenous users who live in a homeless tribal culture, migrating from the blue bridge to the needle exchange and onward to my backyard to shoot up, defecate, vandalize my property and disturb my residential neighbours.

The police have reported about them to city council. Yet they are permitted to continue this behaviour, violating numerous laws including criminal laws.

If I were to carry on in this way I expect I would be arrested. If my dog were repeatedly to defecate on the doorstep of City Hall, action would be taken. Why, then, is nothing being done to stop the lawless activities of this tribe of urban nomads?

Why are my neighbours and I expected to clean up the disgusting droppings of this “social problem,” following “the proper protocol?”

Society needs to take responsibility for its problems and share the burden. I know that you would not put up with this on your doorstep. Neither will I. I am listening closely to the statements of our civic, provincial, and federal politicians. I am encouraging all my neighbours to appeal their property assessments on the basis of the degradation of property value from the lawlessness permitted by government.

In this way at least our high taxes might be lowered so we can afford cleanup, security, and yes, maybe barbed-wire fences. Come election time I will remember who said what. The hardcore tribe doesn’t vote. We do.

After all, that is the proper protocol.
Can I add in some important points? Rob Fleming and Carole James are the MLAs for the area. What are they doing to make this an important issue? It seems like they are doing nothing. Are they preparing for the role as the official government. Whenever that happens.
Mayoy Alan Lowe lives virtually on the border of Victoria. I can understand why he has little sympathy for the plight of the people living near this needle exchange. They didn't put that page into his "Mayor Lowe's Phrase Book."

BTW, don't swallow what the Tourism industry of Victoria is serving about this being a nice little vacation spot.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Destroys Boston

I have been watching two levels of auto-pilot, two smart guys and one dumb guerilla marketing expert.
Yesterday, Boston ground to a halt. Alert teams sprung into action. They destroyed flashing devices that were installed under bridges and in plain view. A menacing LED icon on a box.
Wouldbe terrorists, Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens were arrested and released today on $2500 bail. Their lawyers advised them not to talk about the affair. Of course a hungry media wouldn't have any of that. The perched a podium bristling with microphones on the steps of the court house. The sober pair of Berdovsky and Stevens stepped up and attacked their assailants-- the media. Their lawyer told them not to talk about the case. So, they began gibbering about hair styles. Media-- so hungry to get a scoop-- listened on and broadcast a live ramble about Afros vs. Mohawks.
Media loves the War on Terror. It's a feeding frenzy without end. Terorists could strike right now with new weapons and without warning. Terrorism is way more juicy than the Cold War. There, the Russians had to warm up, get angry, move tanks into East Germany and we had to hoarde food-- then we have a story. Now with the WoT, we can think that one gaff by Jack Bauer and part of LA evaporates in a flash. Did I just confuse "24" and CNN's The Situation Room? Like Chimps and Humans; TV fiction and fact share 99% of the same DNA. I'm not saying that TV dramas are preambles; I'm saying that TV News is just a sliver away from total fiction.
What freaks me out the most: make a sign look weird and the city shuts down; make a bomb look like a regular street sign and you could perch it on any highway.
There needs to be charges levelled at the city official who yelled fire in the crowded theatre. It's his fault; not the fault of the guerilla marketers.
All of this estrangement of fault from blame is my own source of hope. Police can shoot children armed with cap guns and it's not the police's fault. See an LED of a video game figure, trigger a terror alert and its not some bureaucrat's fault. I hope to divorce myself from my responsibility and hand someone else the bill. When I do, I will have a large and well established basis of precedent to fall back on. Society congratulates children and punishes adults because infantiles can be controlled and shaped; adults can step away from the power structures and that's unacceptable.


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