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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Then and Now

Why am I dieting?
  1. Because I did do it once and can do it again.
  2. I want to blaze a trail for others who are in my boat
  3. I want to stay alive to enjoy life with my wife and daughter.
What's your reason(s)?
The above left photo is one of me ca. 1990 and the photo on the right is me in August 2005. Photos are a good indicator of how far one has fallen.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Do you know this... wanker?

The advent of camera phones and digital cameras, means that photos are flooding into the digital realm. I found this link to a photo a NYC woman took of a guy who whipped it out and stared her down while he was beating himself off. If the police want evidence of what he was doing, they have it.
Scum love anonymity. In related news, I've started to photograph local prostitutes and vagrants. I have encouraged our neighbours to do the same. We may put together an exhibition of "Hoes On Parade" Stay Tuned!

Update via Zezette and Babble:

A city restaurateur suspected of being a subway perv had been busted years ago for exposing himself on a train platform, law-enforcement sources said yesterday.

Authorities said Dan Hoyt(2) — a leading expert on raw foods and the owner of two Manhattan eateries — agreed to appear in lineups after six women went to cops complaining that a man recently performed sick acts in front of them in the subway.

To take one of his quotes totally out of context, "It's always a surprise to see stuff come out."

Immolation & Greatness

What if you want to make your mark-- to become remarkable-- but you also want a family and friends? A few months, back I was talking with a friend/boss about how make a great accomplishment. I said to him that you had to "immolate yourself in your craft" to pull off that greatness. He actually didn't know what "immolate" meant (not a big deal, there are many many words and everyone should be fine missing out the odd one). By immolate, I mean create a fiery brightness at the cost of using yourself as fuel. I saw a recent article that referred to programmers at Electronic Arts basically as widows. I am reading through a book called, "Zenith Angle" by Bruce Sterling. The central character is a computer scientist who submerges into the post 9/11 world of security and disappears from his family.
This topic has come up many times:
Josepth Campbell wrote that the role of sacrifice is alive and well in our society. Every day that a man commutes to a do-nothing job to provide for his family he is sacrificing. His goal of greatness is a strong and stable family. He sacrfices daily-- small nails on a low cross.
The book, "The Man in the Grey Flannel Suit" was all about the office environment and the corporate ladder. Would you sacrifice your life to achieve your goal? I think it's ironic that career achievement can outflank happiness in your life-- career acheivement should be a part of the orchestra and not the conductor.
You can't fall off a log into greatness. For every iceberg of achievement, there is a much larger mass of unseen support. The trick is to either lottery ticket your way to achievement-- you don't apply yourself you just luck into a position of prominence (e.g. Paris Hilton: do you think she has done anything more spectacular than get flung from the loins of a rich trophy wife?) Good luck. Otherwise you can take the sum of your work and combine it into a cohesive whole. That's trickier but not impossible. If you're a scientist/avid moutain climber/photographer maybe those three unconnected talents could fuse into documenting obscure phenomenon on a cliff face. If you're a writer/McDonalds drone/big mouth maybe you can write the next telling essay on fast food.
Despite all this, there are people I know who have achieved great things without immolation. A friend's dad, Dr. Geoff Mills is a linguist. He did a lot of important work-- including working with a First Nations band in BC recording their language so that it could exist in some permanent form. He was present for his family and overall, well balanced. I think that is a really uncommon and admirable result of the formula.
As the end of the day, life is a bell curve. Most of the line is in the middle-- the average-- the edges are rarified and uncommon. Not everyone can get out to the edge and for those who do, getting there has a big price tag.

Friday, August 26, 2005

MS Virus Issues

This from KOMO-TV: The person visited public areas in Redmond between Aug. 16 and Aug. 20. REDMOND - King County public health officials have confirmed a case of measles in an adult exposed to the virus while traveling abroad.

Basically, he came back from some offshoring expedition and returned to Microsoft campus. Between the exotic places that Microsoft is fishing up workers and the sickly nature of computer guys, we have a Measles outbreak.

There is something ironically fitting in this. I'm having many politically incorrect thoughts about how the Hudson's Bay company used to trade cootie covered blankets that would decimate their trading partners. What if people in North America are retaining their hold on IT work? What if that grip needs to be interrupted a little with coughing and sneezing? Where would a place like Microsoft turn for skilled labor in the event their North American staff started dropping off like flies?

Crazy Earthquake Theory

This NY Times piece on a geological discovery had me thinking. If the surface of the Earth rotates once every 24. hrs. 59 sec. and the core of the Earth spins once every 23 hrs. 58 mins. 26 sec. that means parts of the Earth's core and outer crust are only synchronized very occasionally. What if there are "mountains" in the inner core: elevations of more solid material like iron that cannot be accomodated by the outer crust. In other words, the core spins past a fault line-- perhaps a subduction faultline where one plate is going beneath the adjacent plate. This creates stress that is released in vulcanism and/or seismic activity.
What I'm getting at is that if this is happening, its cyclical and recurring. Earthquakes are not random phenomeons; or constant stress with random release. Earthquakes are combination and synchronization of recurring factors: solar-lunar tidal activity; the contact of core elevations with crust depressions; and basic solar energy investing more energy in the Earth's crust. The core is much smaller than the outer crust and in between there are thousands of miles of magma. An elevation in the core would create a swell that would have to travel for many hours, if not days, to get to the outer crust.
The real corker for my core elevation theory would be if seismic event epicenters happen near the same longitude like a mountain making a round trip around the globe visiting havoc on Hawaii, California, Turkey, and Indonesia as it goes.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

You're Taking Up A Seat

I ranted last week about an idiot who used to "practice" law for 20 yrs. and now he's running a sham tech college.

It's said today that people will go through three careers in their lifetime. With the changing, fickle job market and people living to retirement, that seems likely. But then I have a friend who's in his late 70s and still practicing law. He regails me with law stories from the 1940s. How the Hell didn't he jump careers two or three times?

This has all gotten me thinking about wasted opportunity and how it pisses me off. I have wasted lots of opportunity. I have wondered if there's the brass ring. Someone read one of my scripts and said, "if you have more stuff, let me look at it." I did nada. Back in the 80s, I was in the queue to code v1. of Civilization. Civlization! (in a fantasy world, there is a time dilator where I can kiss Alice good night, pop into the dilator, play three weeks of Civ, come out and go to sleep with Cheryl). I actually keep that acceptance letter handy and read it to myself to sting me good when I start new projects. In a sense, it seems like there are so many brass rings. I just need to practice to jump to get them.

What has me pissed is people who take up seats. There are so many spots at university. If you get in, someone didn't If you get that seat, consider yourself lucky. What happens if you take up that seat for four or six years? Well, you had better practice what you were taught. Otherwise, the person who could have had your seat could have done that.

You could look at it one way: What if the person in your place was the next Col. Green, Lee Quan or Khan Noonian Singh? Then, sitting interference would have been good. What if you instead took up the seat of someone with low grades that was one spot away from getting in. There, he would have bloomed and found himself? What if he grabbed that bottom rung, pulled himself into this bigger world and accomplished something? Stephen Hawking was so brilliant that he was apathetic about school.

I know people who have had a year off to write and pissed it away lounging about Montreal or their apartment. I know people who have had time off to try something new and spent the whole time inventing reasons not to do anything new just yet. My opinion: You're taking up a seat. In "Brave New World", people were in a utopia not because the Deltas were shit upon. It was a utopia because the Deltas were given rights and responsibilities that were actually at their level: no reaching, no boredom. Sure we all want to be Alphas. Too bad, some of us just have to line up for soma and live with it.

Remember: In the pursuit of happiness, you're running for something that no one has promised to give you. That's why "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is a scam. If you're not alive, don't worry. Liberty: if you're given liberty that means it can also be taken away. In other words, you don't have liberty as its equivalent to anarchy. And the pursuit of happiness? The pursuit makes poor guys who should look for factory jobs aspire to be rappers. It makes starry eyed geeks with ADD think they can write the next great piece of vampire lore. Sometimes you're taking up the seat you were intended for. Sometimes you're playing musical chairs and when you get up, someone else has your only seat.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Wasn't Me

65 Girls Pregnant

I just was to for the record state that it was me (I mean, 65 of them? That would be a lot-- well, according to some people, it would be).

Sunday, August 21, 2005


So, I clear probation from my job this week. I am going to see if they can sponsor me to go to the PHP conference in Toronto: (September 14th-16th). The question is: how to spin it. It will cost $800 for the attendence plus air fare and accomodations. Would these be good enough reasons?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Oak Lane: Come For the ambiance, Stay for the plagarism

Read the Blethering Place entries on these two sites:

What do these two pages have in common? My wife did one in 1998 and then started traipsing it around the Internet (our Islandnet account,, her domain). In 2001, a desperate "designer" who probably couldn't string two sentences together, lifted it and used it on a site he was designing (I can't speak about all of these other references, I am sure their owners can step up and claim ownership).

As to question of who got there first: we turn the Internet Archive:

My question: was the "designer" desperate to cut corners, or does he cut corners all the time? What if someone started a school to train people in web design and give them real world projects? What if they then charged the students and the web design clients through the nose? That would be a great trick wouldn't it? I guess lifting content would only make a ridicoulously stilted deal even more skewed.

Who is it?

Guess who this is.
Hint: he was probably tired of being beaten up by everyone.

It's Carrot Top! ew.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

What is it?

Let's play a new game!
What is it? Guess what this is. Creative answers are encouraged.

One clue: this was bought in a store (accidentally)

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Sure, Kevin Can Show Off Her Box....

This from the Register....

Britney Spears' squeeze Kevin Federline wants the highly-talented chanteuse to drop her sprog on live TV, a breathless Yahoo! reports. Britney is due to eject her bun in October, and young Kev reckons - in the wake of the couple's recent ratings flop Chaotic - that the sight of the pop sensation, legs akimbo, grunting her Hollywood rugrat into the world might prove an audience-puller.
Yep. "Dancer" Federline is actually contemplating pimping out his wife. Instead of giving one guy the keys to the waterworks for $100, he's willing to give millions of guys a peek for advertising revenue in the name of the miracle of birth. Of course, the American mindset probably means that they will show the miracle of birth but pixelate everything from belly button to knees. Some 24x20 pixel blotch will fly out of the former mouseketeer, the violin music will play and we'll cut to a scene of the happy couple and their cream cheese coated creation.

I'm such an ASBO

Britain is fighting their hooligan problems with ASBO (Anti-Social Behaviour Orders) contracts.

Anti-social behaviour has a wide legal definition – to paraphrase the Crime and Disorder Act 1998, it is behaviour which causes or is likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress to one or more people who are not in the same household as the perpetrator. Among the forms it can take are:

  • graffiti – which can on its own make even the tidiest urban spaces look squalid
  • abusive and intimidating language, too often directed at minorities
  • excessive noise, particularly late at night
  • fouling the street with litter
  • drunken behaviour in the streets, and the mess it creates
  • dealing drugs, with all the problems to which it gives rise.
They are trying to curb these problems by getting yahoos to sign ABCs (Acceptable Behaviour Contracts). Pledges by those found guilty of these offenses that they not commit these crimes again. In the weird world of British society pierced, blue junkies who spit on cops can still be made to sign a piece of paper and adhere to it.

Karl Rove Bio

So many people liken figures in the White House to villians in Star Wars. Does Dick Cheney = Darth Sidious? Would that make Karl Rove like a Darth Maul or Darth Vader? That doesn't work. Vader and Maul were both cool. Karl Rove is like an ill formed lump of dung. If you had to fit him somewhere in the Star Wars pantheon, I would make him a lead Ugnaught. Think about it: what is a closer fit for Karl Rove?

Option A: Sith Lord
A figure who comamnds ancient energies known as the dark side of the force. Ruled by passion, Sith lords often dress in dark cloaks to mask their true identities

Option B: Ugnaught
A species of humanoid-porcine beings who live and work on [Capitol Hill].[Political consultants] are barely one meter tall, have pink skin, hog-like snouts and teeth, and long hair.

Okay, it's a trick question. Maybe Rove could best described as an Ugnaught Sith Lord: Darth Turdous.

Anyways, here's the Karl Rove bio, you need to see:

Friday, August 12, 2005


Tupperware is looking for entries to create a Tupperware-inspired work of art that could send you – and your masterpiece – to New York City!
My entry: The Husband keeper. It has a scream proof seal and is watertight to allow marine escapes. Can be made from the hundreds and hundreds of dollars of existing Tupperware.

The newest Reality Show

The lead story on our local noon "news"? Security cameras are great! The privacy comissioner has no problem with private security cameras being put into use. Police think that they are vital tools in crime fighting. This coming after last night's story about how people would willingly trade personal freedoms for more security.

After the London bombings, speedy arrests (and the murder of one Brazillian who committed the crime of having black hair) everyone is pro-camera. I thought our local TV station was pro-camera because someone got a bug to cover it. I was right. All across Canada, Global TV stations and their sister newspapers are lauding the wonders of a closed circuit television future. Why?

Theory A We're becoming an authoritarian state with Orwellian overtones. Well, yeah. But, we've been going that direction since the introduction of the ATM card. It's not big news anymore.

Theory B Sports has always done well in the ratings. Really well. There are good guys and bad guys and it's all real. But sports' heyday was back when women cooked, men watched TV and metrosexuals were a typo. Declining attendance, high viewership in the female demographic and people like me who hate watching sports have wrecked that trend. Then in 1999 a naked gay guy, Richard Hatch, started outplaying his opponents in Survivor and the Reality TV trend went from a burble to a torrent. At last count there were 57 Reality TV shows on the air waves. The problem is: a TV show costs about $200K per hour to just be produced-- forget stars, sets, jets to location shoots. Those extras come on top of that figure. This is why Extreme Makeover pays for $50K in plastic surgery per episode. It's a bargain.

What if $50K for liposuction was too pricey? What if people get tired of watching sweaty idiots backstab each other for coconuts? What if the reporter you hired is too stupid to wear pants let alone carry out investigative journalism? What if investigative journalism takes time and effort? What do you put on the air? Well, you do the reports based on what the police tell you, but instead of showing a lot of boring pictures of blood splatters and crime scene tape, show the crime in progress! If you have it play out you can send your news crew out later to get an interview with the police to capstone the report and voila! You have two or three minutes of TV that is more dramatic and cheaper to produce. After all, what's more gripping? A shot of a spent rubber glove or footage of someone who looks like your Aunt Marge being beaten with a baseball bat?

Gee. I wonder why this week many of the Global news outlets in Canada are hyping a technology (1) (2) that would make their jobs easier? If they used a lot more security camera footage, they could reduce the number of technical people (cameramen and sound guys) they would have to hire. In retail, a lot of stores have bulldozed their stockrooms and put all their stock on the floor. Keeping the hairdos who read the news and ditching the people in the field would be journalistic equivalent of this move. If only they could convince people to install more security cameras...


Why is that Hollywood's Entertainment-Addiction Complex manages only to kill the fat SNL alumnis? Please, please, don't leave out Rob Schneider, star of celluloid asswipe, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo he's half as funny as Pauly Shore; half as manly as Andy Dick.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Showered with FBI Attention

So I typed "false + false" into Google to get a quick refresher on boolean math. What I got instead was this:

Thanks for the blog, Bill

This from Microsoft Watch and WebProNews:

Basically, MSN is cooking the blogs they host for their own benefit.

MSN Filter appears to be a cross between a traditional Web log, where writers have full editorial control, and a wiki model, embracing user contributions.

Adam Sheppard, lead product manager for MSN Filter, said MSN's model " is essentially Nanopublishing as originally championed by Nick Denton at Gawker Media and Weblogs Inc. Both are great blog networks with their own audiences that they'll continue to be successful with."

I saw the MSN ad for professional bloggers. I guess I should have thought that if they were going to throw money at bloggers, they were doing it for nefarious reasons.

Turns Out I can't Photograph Your Box

Wired is running an article about a guy making furniture out of FedEx boxes. FedEx is hitting him with a DMCA violation. Yes, the DMCA. Apparently they are not upset about the furniture itself but rather this site that he put up with pictures of his creation. His site looks down from traffic weight, but he also has a blog. Beds, desks, chairs, you name it. Back when I and my micreant friends where teenagers we used to save all of the dot matrix edge pieces for some unknown project that we never carried out. It's good to see him putting this crap to good use.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Scoop McCaskill Strikes

This in from Victoriawood Reports:

In trying to get some more information about 's role in film. I managed to contact Cameron's mom, Anne Bright. She was able to confirm that Cameron is playing Leech, a member of the Morlocks. More...
Victoriawood was the first to get news of this. Way to go!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Kreb Kallash!

Theatre goers in 1982 were so hungry for a good movie, they were willing to see the Turkish Star Wars (2). A movie that liberally ripped off its US counterpart and made it into a Turkish "classic." Unfortuately, the word "classic" in English means "memorable." In Turkish, "classic" means "tremendous load of crap. "

A Blog By Any Other Name

A "Cthulhoid" link I saw to a cool Livejournal full of Octopus references got me thinking: what's in a name? - goes to a said 16 yr. old from Virginia who stopped posting in 2001. - is for angry people who speak Spanish. - goes to a Bangladeshi blog with a photo of two people holding hands. - is, of course, the metaphysics of augu. - is empty and is still free. is actually titled, "Nazi Blog" I gave it a quick read. I can't tell if its a warning of encroaching fascism or if it's a sarcastic pro-Nazi blog. The site is something in Arabic. I think it's a poorly named flower site; but I fear it's a how-to for wouldbe bombers.
The is Chris Puzak's back-up site.
Don't expect an ammo refill from the It's the newtown rider's association.

After reading all this, I realized that sensible names are for the birds. I've seen the light. I have to dump my current slough of sites, in favour of new names: is now is now is now
...Just kidding!

Now it's hard to be comic geek and NOT a tech geek

For those of you who yearn to create comics, but are not held back enough by the lack of technical hurdles: behold the Comic Book Markup Language (CBML). A series of XML qualities to what you put in a book, throw on a page or land in a panel. Ug. It makes me long for coming of the Three Pigs and the Apocolypse....

Same Sex Marriage

It turns out there is some hair splitting in the same-sex marriage issue. Gay marriage is non synonomous with same-sex marriage. That being the case, two middle aged straight guys are getting married to each other.
This makes sense. Married couples get benefits that singles do not enjoy. Friends look out for each other (for better or for worse). There are open marriages. Married people complain that sex fizzled after the marriage.
Why wouldn't two straight guys who wanted to save money, meet women and not have sex with one another get married? Besides all that, the concept of marriage in the name of love is uncommon. Royalty often forged political unions via marriage. Many cultures have arranged marriages to transfer assets to the next generation. This concept isn't so much a perversion of the concept of marriage as it is a carry-through to the nth degree.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Nortel And Its Failure to Communicate

When I tried to email someone at Nortel from my GMail account, I got this reply:

Your email was blocked at NortelNetworks by our spam filters. The
reason for this is explained below, and what actions you should take
(if any) are also described below.

If you do not maintain your own email server[s], we suggest that you
forward this email to your email server administrators.

Your email has been forwarded to the intended recipients.

Your email is still blocked. This is likely because our metrics
indicate that your mail server is continuing to send unacceptable
quantities of spam and/or viruses and we have not removed the filter
rule that caused the block. We recommend that you deal with the
blacklistings shown below, and then contact us (by replying to this
email) about re-enabling email access.

If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to reply to
this email.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Spam Filter Operations
Nortel Networks

We blocked this email because the body of the email contains
a reference to a URL that starts with "http://66.".

URLs that contain an IP address are almost always spam, and we block it
for that reason.

The best way to avoid this is to use a proper DNS domain name in your
URL instead of an IP address. It's entirely unnecessary to use IP addresses
in URLs.

I can undertand why the 66.*.*.* domain may be off limits to Nortel staff. In my case, I was sending a Google cached page to people. Google caches hold that embarassing stuff that people publish and then later rescend. If anyone high up at Nortel wanted to rewrite history for the staff, 66.* makes that harder.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Movin' On Up ???

I used to work for this web design company. Tuesday, I saw that, according to their website, they were on the move (2). Today, they no longer have that announcement up on their site. Hmmm....

These snap 180° turns are the kind of things that frustrated me to departure. You know what they say: "A ship that never gets to port eventually sinks with all hands."

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Shoggoths Welcome

October 7-9th, 2005 there is an HP Lovecraft Film Festival in Portland Oregon. By a weird quirk, I think I have seen much of the Cthulhioid things put to film (this is the list of things I've seen):

And let's not forget the bastard love children of Lovecraftian Lore:


At the nexus of my Mythbusters and sculpture obsession: Kari Byron. Her website has a super cool collection of sculptures made from found objects, sculpey, etc.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

I'm craving Heroin so bad, I'm going to Tim Horton's

This is my recent complaint to Tim Horton's:

I wish to complain about the conditions of the Tim Horton's at 2 1258 Esquimalt Road in Esquimalt BC.

Tonight I came in at approx. 8PM to find that both washrooms were out of order. This is a frequent occurence. Of the last three times I have been to this location in the last month, the restroom has been out of service. When I asked the staff about this, they said that were not going to clean up after a drug addict used the washroom. The associate said that people could go to other businesses and use their washroom. Given the frequency I have found them to be lacking in this area, I do not know if they ever make a washroom available. If the washrooms are used by drug users for injecting drugs, I don't know if they would be hygenic at all. In general, this is not a location I would ever want to go again: be it for the lack of basic ammenties that are required by Vancouver Island Health Authority; the likelihood that should we need a washroom we could find an IV drug user or the aftermath of drug use; or the sullen service and curt explanation I got from your staff.

I feel very strongly about this matter. I will not hesitate to share my experiences and my views with others. I will advise them to steer clear of this location, but I see no reason to visit any Tim Horton's location again.

Of course, I think Timmy's sucks. Not even the staff like the place (this from a chick who goes to Queen's University). If they fire her because of her surly posts, could she find work elsewhere?

I got this from one of the donut-like drones:

Thank you again for your email and your comments. I assure you that I will
forward them on to the appropriate personnel for review.

It is never our intention to lose customers or jeopardize the relationship
we have built with them. Thus, I am sorry to hear that you may no longer
be our customer and only hope that one day we will have the opportunity to
serve you again in the future.

If you have any further comments or concerns, please do not hesitate to
contact us toll free at 1 888 601 1616.

Kind Regards,

Operations Services Representative

Awww.... they really care about the public. Well, the public's money. A friend knows the owner of these two shooting galleries. The owner just bought a new sportscar! Congratulations! Too bad he couldn't spare $30 for UV bulbs. But them, that would alienate his clientele (and the few non-IV drug users who still drop by in desperation).

Ladies: Start Your Thinking!

The Planet is offering a contest for women entrepeneurs.
Don't worry guys. Apress is offering a contest too. I think I am going to enter this one :)

Contact me!